Can't Buy Me Love (part 8 - by Margaret Ullrich)

    Oh, yeah.  The wheels were turning.  Ma had that look.  That look that said, "You have your ways.  Fine.  But, we are going to do this my way.  As always."      

    Ma sat next to Aunt Liz and explained, “No.  We will have our traditional Mother's Day Brunch.  We have our own holiday food, of course.  But, we will add some of the new things, too, like you said we should have."  She gave a quick look at Aunt Demi.  "Like Americans have.” 

    Aunt Demi snorted and muttered, “Sure.  And I’ll dance naked on the table.” 

    Ma glared at Aunt Demi.  Unimpressed, Aunt Demi glared right back at her.  Aunt Liz looked like she was getting really curious about her new in-laws and their customs.  Ma turned her attention back to Aunt Liz and smiled.  “Yes.  They will make our traditional food and a few of the things you said we should have.  We will have...  What you said..."  

    I could see that Ma was pausing, not for dramatic effect, but because she was trying to remember what Aunt Liz had said that she and her mother were going to eat at Club Safari.  Finally, she remembered.  "We will also have French muffins, English toast, chicken, eggs and liver.  And they’ll roast a baby lamb over the charcoals.  That's our tradition.”  

    

    Aunt Liz looked slightly confused.  There was something just a bit off about the American part of the menu.  Barbara and I were stunned.  What happened to the bacon and eggs?

    Aunt Demi smiled.  She saw the mistake in Ma's plan.  Aunt Demi nodded and said,  “I’d like to see you get this baby lamb in May.”

    Too late Ma remembered that Aunt Liz had said that Mother's Day was more than a month away.  Dimitri wouldn't be selling lambs in May.  Ma wasn't about to admit she'd made a mistake in front of Charlie's new wife.  She knew in-laws never forget.  Ma just turned to Aunt Demi and said, “Demi, We have to eat, right?  It’s Spring in May.  The weather will be nice for a barbecue.  We’ll have a lamb.  And the other stuff.”

    Aunt Demi stared at Ma.  Finally, she spoke.  “Are you crazy?”