Bye, Bye, MSOS & Aqua Books by Margaret Ullrich

Maybe there's something in the air.

On July 31, The Manitoba Society of Seniors shut its doors.

The MSOS, a non-profit organization, had been in Manitoba for over 30 years. 

MSOS members paid an annual fee of $20; $30 for a household. 

In return they received free personal income tax preparation, the monthly Journal, Fifty and Beyond, as well as recreation and travel discounts. 

Now if one was over 50 and wanted those items, that seemed fair.

But, if one didn't want those services, well, there are better ways to spend $30.

According to the MSOS, they represented the views of older Manitobans with government, the media, business and employer groups.

The Manitoba Society of Seniors' closing wasn't covered by the media.

So much for their media presence and contacts.

The only media that covered the MSOS ending was their journal, Fifty and Beyond.

A stack of F & B was at the Winnipeg Free Press building, along with the free weeklies.

I don't know where or how else a non-member would have heard of their news.

I googled.

Nada.

Fifty and Beyond's editor, Andrea Geary, had her own opinion of the MSOS ending. 

Her editorial was almost as good as Professor Hill's Trouble.

His show-stopping solo from the musical The Music Man.  

Yep, we've got trouble, right here in River City.

Nobody is going to speak up for us poor defenseless Boomers.

She made it sound like we're losing the vote.

According to Andrea, we're now invisible.

Andrea pointed out that the over-50 crowd is growing.

Well, duh.

And the board members of MSOS had expected every Boomer to join the MSOS.

Yet, their numbers have steadily fallen over the years.

Well, Andrea knows what's wrong with the "younger seniors".

We don't know we're getting old.

We're not joiners.

We lack a community spirit.

Yeah, right.

Maybe we can do our own taxes and don't want to go on their tours.

When McDonald's tries a new product and it doesn't sell, the folks at Micky D don't call customers names.

They just stop selling that product.

The customer is always right.

Speaking of customers...

On August 11, after being in business a dozen years, Kelly Hughes announced he was shutting Aqua Books' doors.

Aqua Books is a secondhand bookstore / restaurant / you name it.

Music, classes, yoga, plays.

It was almost guaranteed there was something for everybody.

Almost.

According to Kelly's e-mail, "Smart phones, Facebook, and the internet are all part of what has replaced reading time. 

I won't beat it to death, but it's an irreversible change in people's habits." 

Technology is making people read books less.

Yeah, he spread the word through an e-mail.

Ironic, eh?

News of Aqua Books' Closing hit all the media.

Radio, newspapers, television, the internet.

The CBC has an online version where people can post comments.

Pro and con. 

Some folks did say they were going to miss Aqua for a read or a feed.

But others had a different view on why Kelly's store had failed.

Along with comments on changing times, some got quite specific.

Everything from overpriced books and meals to the staff's attitude was covered.

Then there was Mr. Hughes himself.

One person posted a link to Kelly's blog.

Some had found Hughes humorous.

Some didn't.

The customer is always right.

Unsandwiched II by Margaret Ullrich

Maybe I wasn't clear last week.

I got a few e mails.

Annoyed e mails.

First off, I really admire grandparents who do more than an occasional babysitting.

Sudden expenses can send the best of budgets into a tailspin.

In today's market, jobs can suddenly end.

Marriages can end, too.

Emergencies happen.

And elderly parents can need help.

A fall can change things drastically.

The parents were there when needed.

It's only fair to be there for them.

When there is a real need, it's great to know a family will pull together.

Last week's post wasn't about pulling together.

It was about pulling rank.

The post was about the gung-ho Granny who has to run the show.

Her children have adult children of their own.

Her children have managed to raise the next generation.

They did a fine job.

They're all known as responsible, hard-working folks.

No matter.

For birthdays, confirmations, graduations, engagements, whatever parties,
gung-ho Granny has to be the hostess.

For every holiday on the calendar her children, and their children, have to go to Grandmother's house.

Like a horde of Little-Red-Riding-Hoods on a forced march.

The post was about the gung-ho Granny who sees herself as the hub of the family.

I know one New Yorker who had decided to throw her elderly father a birthday party.

Great-Grandpa was visiting from Florida.

It was late December.

Grandpa hates the cold, but he went north for the holidays.

It wasn't enough to invite the man's grandchildren and their children.

Oh, no.

Equally elderly folks, related by marriage, had to attend.

Elderly folks who had thought they were beyond peer pressure.

Elderly folks who didn't relish the hazards of a long winter's drive.

That meant driving to a house that was about two hours away.
And another two hours driving home in the dark.

That was driving in the summer.
Not in the winter.

Newsmen had said that the icy conditions were dangerous.

No matter.

They had been told to come.

They complained to their children about the drive.
They hoped to guilt their own children into driving them to the party.
No dice.
Their children had other plans.
It was the holiday week, after all.

Back in the 50s and 60s, relatives stayed closer together.

Especially when they were just-off-the-boat immigrant relatives.

Two sets of my relatives lived in the same tri-plex.

Another couple was on the same block, six houses away.

It was a snap to get everyone together.

That was then, this is now.

Maybe it's time to let the idea of gathering relatives together go, like dial phones. 

Maybe it's time to let the 40-year-old children host a family dinner.

Maybe it's time to let the elderly stay home, guilt-free.

Maybe it's time for gung-ho Granny to get a new hobby.

Unsandwiched by Margaret Ullrich

Summer is a great time for get-togethers.

Graduations, weddings, anniversaries, reunions.

Facebook is abuzz with folks planning for or returning from visits.

It's a little easier to travel when you don't have to pack 20-pound coats.

Cheaper, too.

Gotta love the itemized airline surcharges.

They really think that makes the final ticket price more acceptable.

Right.

I grew up in a just-off-the-boat immigrant family.

Every weekend was planned.

It was easy.

We - the family - got together.

The same thing we'd done the weekend before.

And the weekend before that.

Since there weren't our parents' old schoolmates, neighbors or friends on the continent, the guest list was all set.

It wasn't totally like Logan's Run.

There were a few elderly people at the table.

They were the parents of the Sicilian in-laws.

They were invited, made comfortable, and allowed to nap when the mood hit.

Why not?

They were over 60.

They'd done their share of hosting.

They'd earned the right to let someone else - like their kids - do the work.

Those were the days....

Now folks around 60 are called the "Sandwich Generation".

Responsible for caring for their even older parents and the kids.

And, the kids' kids.

It's a world-wide situation that crosses all income levels.

Picture it... 

Charlie and Cam have to fire up the grill for his parents, Elizabeth II and Philip.

Don't forget the three sibs, their spouses and kids.

And their own boys and the new daughter-in-law.

Oh, and is that a baby bump we see?

The Boomers must host them all, for however long they live.

Didn't the Queen Mum live past 100?

Yesterday I listened to my friend rattling off her plans for a reunion.

D-Day took less work.

Yessiree, she was planning a humdinger.

Her kids, in-laws, grandkids, and gloryoski, a great-grandson! 

Don't forget her six siblings, their spouses and the parents.

One of the kids offered to host at his home, the McMansion, and have it catered.

My friend wouldn't hear of it.

This was her party.

With the proper medication, her blood pressure would be under control.

She just expects them all to come to her house.

After all, she's still the Mom.

Oh.

Maybe it's time to pass on the apron.

Maybe it's time for the kids to take over.

Maybe it's time for the lid to come off the sandwich. 

Maybe it's time for Mom to call herself "Grandma".

Ouch.

Getting Back To Normal

It's been a hectic year.


On January 3, 2009 my Aunt Betty passed away. My parents and brother George went to her memorial service. George had told Pop to take his cane to go from the door to the viewing room while he parked the car. Pop got angry and said he could walk without it. By the time George had parked the car, the funeral personnel had called for an ambulance because Pop had fallen flat on his face and had to be rushed to a hospital.

While in the hospital they did everything from CAT scan to dialysis, but Pop passed away on January 20.

Pop had always taken care of everything, so Ma had a stressful time after he died. She and George thought that a move would help. They had found another house. When I spoke to Ma, she sounded excited about the move. Her 87th birthday came in October. A week later she died suddenly. Our dog Bobo died the day of Ma's funeral.


We're still getting used to the changes in our family.


Of course life will never be the same. We've learned a lot over the past year. Some things we had thought were important, aren't. Some things we took for granted we now realize are very important. Things like God, family, our parish community, friends.


I was just reading Prime Times, a seniors' publication. They have a small column Words of Wisdom, in which this month they quoted Sylvia Todaschuk. She's a familiar face at the Todaschuk Sisters Ukrainian Boutique. Sylvia said:

Never hold a grudge as life is too short. Always stay positive - the more you give of yourself, the more you receive from God, and remember that prayer and faith in God will take you through everything.


It's been a hard year. We learned a lot.


Prayer and faith in God will take you through everything.


Amen.

It will just take time by Margaret Ullrich

Time is moving so fast.


The Santa Claus Day parade was yesterday. The weather was gorgeous. Sunny and mild. No snow. It doesn't feel like Christmas is coming, but you can't argue with the guy in the red suit or all those happy kids.


My brother had e mailed me that he and our sister were going to visit our parents' graves today. It's a month since we lost Ma. He also wrote that when he's at work, he'll reach for the phone to give her a call. Then it hits him that there is no one there to call.


It will just take time.


We've had at least one dog for the past 37 years. You just gets used to certain routines when you have a dog or two. One routine is being howled at when you come home. We recently went out for an evening. When we returned, we tensed up, expecting barking and yelping when we opened the door.


Nothing.


The house was so quiet. I didn't like the yowling and shrieking. It sounded like they were being attacked. But now it's just too damn quiet.


It will just take time.

Changes by Margaret Ullrich

The next morning at Mass our friends were a great comfort. Some had met my parents. Many are also neighbors and will miss seeing BoBo during his walks, too.


BoBo had had a good week, full of turkey, Burger King, long walks, a chance to 'threaten' the Bathfitter guy and a ride to Portage la Prairie.


We're slowly changing the schedule we've had for quite a few years.

Instead of taking the dog(s) for a walk individually, Paul and I are taking a walk together. We still need our exercise.

Life will be simpler, but we didn't think we'd become total empty nesters for another 7 years or so. We suddenly feel like we're in our mid 60s. Well, life is full of changes.

As they say, embrace the change.


We're slowly getting used to our new lifestyle.

Last Thursday we went to Gimli. For the first time in about 37 years we were able to walk on a beach together (dogs are usually not allowed). We were also able to browse in different places together instead of taking turns.

It's a whole new way of living.


It doesn't take much for us.