Orthodox Christmas Thoughts by Margaret Ullrich

Can't believe we're already a week into the new year. The day after Christmas has always been a sad day for me. I get so used to all the Christmas-themed shows and music. Then, on December 26, they're all gone. Can't they continue for another couple of weeks, at least for the sake of the Orthodox Christians? I'd like a gentler weaning off the holiday season.


BoBo's passing affected our holidays. We've had at least one dog for so many years that we just got into the habit of doing things in a certain way. Each of our dogs had his or her own Christmas stocking. This year we didn't hang up our stockings. Seeing just 2 stockings was too much of a reminder.

We have a comfortable chair near the table in the kitchen. Our dogs would get on the chair and stretch as far as possible to sniff at the turkey as it cooled on the table. Everyone enjoyed the Christmas turkey, but I missed BoBo's excitement as he waited to get "his share". It was so quiet when we returned from evening services and visiting, and when friends came.

We have always set up our manger scene on a table so that our dogs wouldn't be tempted to use Baby Jesus as a chew toy. Even though this year we could place the shed and characters under the tree, we decided to continue placing them on a table. It just didn't look right under the tree.


We've been enjoying our walks. There was a pair of wild geese hanging around the pond near Garden Grove School on Burrows. The Canadian geese avoided them, so the wild geese stayed near the ducks and seagulls. A German couple, who live near the pond, puts out food for the birds throughout the year. During a good part of the year, the ducks just calmly walk across the road, while everyone has to stop and let them pass. Same goes for the geese.

We've also been enjoying getting together with friends on the spur of the moment. When we had dogs we had to schedule in two daily 1 hour walks with our dogs and plan everything else around that. When we visited neighbors who have a cat, BoBo would station himself by the window and stare at our neighbors' house until we returned. He was really good at looking forlorn. Even our neighbors felt guilty.


We just have to remember what Aunt Betty said - "Enjoy life."

Christmas Eve Thoughts

This has been a very different December for us. Enjoying a few get togethers with friends and a party for volunteers at church, as well as having to sort out financial and legal papers. Tonight we'll be Lectors for a Christmas Eve Mass.


I met with my investment advisor to go over the papers from Ma's two annuities. They had sent the forms for an American resident. Also the applications were different. Lisa helped me find the W-8 form I need from the half dozen the U.S. government have on their site and printed 2 copies. She read over the papers and they're a little clearer now.

I had e mailed one company and asked if they wanted both my social security and social insurance numbers. I was told they do not give tax advice. I called the other company and the woman there explained they want the social security number so they know where to credit the witholding tax. Why the other company couldn't have said that...


We also went to a 'celebration of life' for a friend who passed away. Phil was 69. We had first met him in 1978 when Paul started working at the Free Press. There was a video of some of the highlights of Phil's life and a few funny stories from family members and friends. It was good seeing everybody and reminiscing. Some are still working at the paper and others, like Paul, are retired. We hadn't seen some of the Free Press folks for quite a while. It was like being in our 30s again. Where did the time go?


We're pretty much set for Christmas... Last Christmas Aunt Betty said to enjoy life. Aunt Betty passed away in January, a week before Pop.

Yes, it will seem odd tomorrow - not talking on the phone with my parents and Aunt Betty, or sharing a bit of turkey with BoBo. But, we still have much to be thankful for.

Paul's cartoon 'The Bicycle Lesson' has had some success. It screened in Miami (Florida), Danville (California), Fredericton (New Brunswick), Guelph and Toronto (Ontario), as well as 4 screenings here in Winnipeg.

I've enjoyed working on my book and blogs and serving as public relations person for the Winnipeg Model Railroad Club.

The volunteer party was fun. There was plenty of food, games and kareoke. Paul and I joined a fellow parishioner Brenda in singing Tom Jones' Delilah. Lots of silliness. The evening flew.


Like Aunt Betty said - enjoy life.


Merry Christmas, Everyone.

Deck The Halls by Margaret Ullrich

It didn't really feel like Christmas was coming because of the milder than normal weather and the lack of snow. But, at the beginning of December, we set up our decorations, including our tree.


A few years ago we bought an artificial tree. No more tree chopping for us. Customs give way to reality, especially when arthritis acts up. When we want a piney smell, we burn some scented candles. Now we don't have to worry about keeping the tree watered.


We also bought some old-fashioned bubble lights. We had bubble lights when we were kids and, to us, they add just the right touch.


We've cut back on some of our decorations. Some of them were more trouble than they were worth. A few years ago we bought a set of 8 electric candles that would light up as they played a medley of Christmas carols. A candle would glow as each note was hit. The candles were fine. The music was fine. But the set would start up whenever it detected a noise.


For example, if our dog Herbie walked by and shook his collar, we'd suddenly hear music. For a few years we had to unplug the musical candles whenever we left the house. Otherwise our dogs would panic when the music started up and we weren't home. Finally, we stopped setting up the candles.


We have icicle lights on our house's eaves. When I see them I really miss Bobo. When we let BoBo out after it got dark, he loved to sit on the side door's stoop and just stare at the lights for a while before walking off to do his business. I wish I knew what they meant to him. Did he think they were small stars that had settled on our house?


BoBo was our little holiday star.

What Dogs Leave by Margaret Ullrich

We just got back from a walk. Bumped into a few people. Folks are still asking where Bobo is and if we'll get another dog.

We've had at least one dog for 35 years. It's funny the stuff you get used to doing and having around the house. We had a board over the bottom of our bookcase because our fourth dog, Popcorn, got into the habit of peeing on the bottom shelf. He also taught Bobo that little trick. We just got used to vacuuming around the board. Finally we realized we don't need to protect the bottom shelf anymore.


I never realized how many habits we had gotten into because we had dogs. It was a whole lifestyle: get up at night (sometimes a few times) to let the older dog out, wipe them down when it rained and snowed (now we don't have a towel hanging in the side closet), having to do 2 hour-long walks every day (we each did an hour).

During the winter we wondered if one of us would come home with a broken limb because of the ice. We also had to remove ice and mud from their toes after they'd been out in the yard and after walks, and carry treats when we went out so we could calm them when we got home.

There was also the nightly teeth brushing, twice-a-week fur brushing, every three months trimming of fur and nails (I clipped while Paul held). Whenever we were out we had to watch the clock (after 4 hours we'd be asking for trouble). And, of course, checking their dishes regularly during the day.


I asked my cousin Alice how she got used to life after her dog Sadie died. Alice wrote back:


After Sadie died it took a while to get used to her not being there. Looked for her to let her out. And I could swear I could hear her claws on the kitchen floor or her whining to go out.

I missed her but now I'm glad I don't have a pet.

My grandkids tell me they're getting a dog for Christmas. All I could say is they better not. I always wind up with them, and I really don't want any more pets. I don't even want to dog sit.


Alice is right. It's a lot of work.


Still, I miss them.

Halloween and 10% Tuesday by Margaret Ullrich

This year Halloween was different without a dog. Paul didn't have to stay upstairs puppysitting so the kids wouldn't be frightened by a barking dog. Folks in our neighborhood keep track of the numbers we get so we'll have an idea of how much candy we'll need next year. This year we got 95 kids. Twenty-one years ago we had over 200 kids. The neighborhood is greying. Since the houses are about 1000 sq. ft. they're not too big for empty nesters.


Last Tuesday was 10% Tuesday. It was everybody's stock up day. I bumped into a few people who asked why they hadn't seen Bobo recently and I had to tell them that Bobo had passed away.


A couple we know from church met me at Sobey's. Marty likes to joke around. Last month he and Sylvia were behind me in line and Marty started yelling, "Hey, lady, move faster. I ain't got all day." I snarled back, "That's too damn bad." The poor kid at the register looked scared. Then Marty and I laughed and chatted. Guess the kid thought we had Alzheimer's.

Last Tuesday Marty said, "Hey, I saw your dog running around. I called the pound." I told him that Bobo had passed away. He went white. Guess the word hasn't spread in our parish. Marty, Sylvia and I talked about deceased dogs and parents. Their dogs had passed away when they were about Bobo's age.


We never realized how lucky we'd been with the other four. We honestly thought all dogs lived to their mid-teens.


In Safeway a neighbor came to me and said, "I haven't seen your husband in a few weeks. Is he okay?" I told Frank about Bobo. Bobo had certain routes he liked to walk with each of us so he could cover the neighborhood. Frank wasn't on my route, even though he just lives around the corner.


Last Tuesday also reminded me of Ma because I usually picked up doubles of recipe cards and sent a set to her. I don't think she ever used them, but she liked getting new ideas. Last Tuesday I only got one of each.


Life goes on.

BoBo Is Remembered by Margaret Ullrich

I was just thinking about last Sunday and the Communion of Saints. I'm also totally comfortable with the whole idea of a huge group of living people all together, looking over our shoulders and caring about us. Our neighborhood is like that.


Over the years our neighbors got used to seeing Paul and me walking our dogs. But people really took note when Paul and I were walking our bichon frises, Popcorn and BoBo. Even though there was a ten-year age gap, Popcorn and Bobo were often mistaken for siblings.

After Popcorn died people stopped us and asked what had happened to our other dog. Once, when I was walking BoBo, a lady who didn't speak English approached me. She kept two fingers up and pointed her other hand at BoBo. Finally I understood. She was asking about our dogs. I gestured with one finger up and shook my head. Finally she understood and patted my arm.


BoBo needed two hours of steady walking, so Paul and I walked him separately in one-hour shifts. Since Paul and I still need our one-hour walk after Bobo died, we've decided to walk together. On Sunday, after Mass, we walked down one street and around our local pond. Because the weather was blustery, none of our neighbors or their dogs were out.


But that didn't mean we went unnoticed.


When we were heading back home, a friend who owns a pekinese came out of her house and called to us. She said that another friend who owns a poodle and a bichon had noticed us walking together. The poodle owner had guessed that we would be passing the pekinese's house on our way home. Where was BoBo? We explained and then we reminisced.


Our parish has an All Saints custom. There's a large book by the side of the altar. Before and after mass during November people can write the names of friends and family members who have passed away. I was sad when I wrote my parents' names in the book. It was so sudden. Last year they were alive.


Paul also wrote the names of friends and relatives in the book. Finally he wrote "B. Ullrich".


I hope our other dogs understand.

Changes by Margaret Ullrich

The next morning at Mass our friends were a great comfort. Some had met my parents. Many are also neighbors and will miss seeing BoBo during his walks, too.


BoBo had had a good week, full of turkey, Burger King, long walks, a chance to 'threaten' the Bathfitter guy and a ride to Portage la Prairie.


We're slowly changing the schedule we've had for quite a few years.

Instead of taking the dog(s) for a walk individually, Paul and I are taking a walk together. We still need our exercise.

Life will be simpler, but we didn't think we'd become total empty nesters for another 7 years or so. We suddenly feel like we're in our mid 60s. Well, life is full of changes.

As they say, embrace the change.


We're slowly getting used to our new lifestyle.

Last Thursday we went to Gimli. For the first time in about 37 years we were able to walk on a beach together (dogs are usually not allowed). We were also able to browse in different places together instead of taking turns.

It's a whole new way of living.


It doesn't take much for us.

Busy, Busy, Busy by Margaret Ullrich

On the evening of October 16 Paul went to the Mennonite Brethren Collegiate Institute to set up his trains. His exhibit of larger scale trains was usually very popular with the younger children. He came home shortly before 10:00 pm.

Bobo was his old self, rushing to see him and barking his head off. I gave Paul a marrow bone to give to BoBo.

"Why'd you give me this?" Paul asked.
"Just for the hell of it."


It was the last thing BoBo ever ate.


Saturday, October 17, was the first day of the Train Club's Open House. I went to the Safeway at 7:00 am to pick up some fruit for Paul to eat at the show.

BoBo seemed comfortable but wasn't interested in eating or going for a walk. We just thought he was tired. Paul went to the Open House while I did some chores. BoBo moved around the main floor quite a bit.

First he was on his chair in the kitchen. He pulled his old trick on me. He was the only dog we ever had that liked to lie on his back. I always wanted to get a picture of him doing that. But, whenever he heard a camera focusing he would roll onto his stomach. So, I took a picture of him at 10 am just laying on his stomach on the chair.

BoBo also napped behind the chair, by the sink, in the powder room, by the front closet and, finally, by the desk (another favourite for him - he liked to lay by the desk with his head between the desk and the chair). He had his little quirks.


When I checked BoBo around 4:00 pm he was breathing steadily. Paul got home a little after 5:00 pm. Bobo didn't greet him. I thought he was sleeping. I asked Paul about the number of people attending. Paul answered, while keeping an eye on Bobo. Paul went over to the desk and put his hand on our dog. BoBo wasn't breathing, and his body was already getting cold.


BoBo had gone in his sleep.


Another roller coaster... The Winnipeg Model Railroad Club's Great Canadian Train Show and Flea Market had 600 people. Last year it was 400. I was the new public relations person for the train club. Success.


Big Deal.


BoBo was gone.

Life on a Roller Coaster by Margaret Ullrich

Paul's animated cartoon 'The Bicycle Lesson' has been accepted for screening at 'The 2009 Silver Wave Film Festival' in New Brunswick. Also, Dustin Anderson of 'International Bike Shorts' which were screened last week. They might use it in next year's 'International Shorts 2010' and be included in their tour.

Ma would've gotten a kick out of all this. She hardly ever got out of College Point, a small town in Queens, New York. She liked to hear about our small successes, even though she'd never heard of half the places we mentioned.


Now I can't tell her any of our news.


Wednesday, October 14 had been damp and cold. We were going to take a small drive, but decided against it. So I walked BoBo and went about our usual business.

Bobo was still enjoying the turkey and was up to his old tricks. He had this game he liked to play with me. I usually sit in the right corner of the couch, near the table and lamp. Whenever I got up, BoBo liked to steal that spot, then give me a "Who me?" look when I returned.

After lunch I picked the last of our vegetables and cleaned the yard while Paul took BoBo for a walk. When I went to the kitchen, I noticed the light on our phone was blinking. My sister had phoned. Ma had passed away. Our brother George had tried to called her from work. When he didn't get an answer, he drove for an hour and a half from Manhattan to College Point. It looked like her heart had stopped.


In a way Ma's death was a blessing and an answer to her prayers. My parents had married in 1948 and immigrated to America in 1950. Pop passed away this past January. Pop's last years hadn't been good. He was in poor health with heart and kidney problems, arthritis and diabetes. The days had turned into an endless round of doctors' visits. Ma also hated the winter weather in New York and always said she'd never gotten used to it.

During one of my parents' visits, Vince Leah and his wife died within a few days of each other. Since he'd worked with Vince at The Free Press, Paul had gone to the funeral. I remember Ma saying how lucky Mrs. Leah was, that she would want to go the same way, too.


Most of the relatives Ma's age had passed away. Ma kept to herself, no matter how much we encouraged her to make friends or to at least go to the Senior Centre which was a block away. My sister and brother took that into account and just planned for a 1 day wake instead of the traditional 3 day viewing. The funeral was scheduled for Saturday.

When we talked to my siblings, my sister Rose, who had moved out years ago and is married, was calm. George had never married and had lived with our parents all his life. He was very upset, although he was trying his best to regain his composure. He explained how he tried to call Ma several times, but there was no answer. He rushed home and found her dead. He called the cops, who came and left. Ma's doctor signed the death certificate. George kept repeating, "It's the end of everything."


Life can be weird. Ma's older by 2 years sister, Stella, still lives in Malta. She has survived her sister and 2 younger brothers. George told me that she'd just had a pacemaker put in.

Our cousin John will break the news to her gently.

One Film and a Burial by Margaret Ullrich

Life has turned into a roller coaster.

This should be a really up time for us. Tuesday night we went to the Cinematheque. Paul's animated cartoon 'The Bicycle Lesson' was screened as part of 'The Bike Shorts Film Festival'. There was also an exhibition of bike-related art and art work done by Tim Hunt, a bicyclist who had passed away. The other 3 bike films from Winnipeg were interesting, too. It was a nice evening out.

In addition to the screening on Tuesday, 'The Bicycle Lesson' will also be shown on October 30, at the Cinematheque, as part of 'The Get Animated! Film Festival - The Devil Wore a Paper Hat: New Winnipeg Animation'. It has also been selected to screen at 'The Sharp Cuts Indie Film and Music Festival' November 13 to 15 in Guelph, Ontario.


Like I said, this should be a really up time for us. But, of course, it's not.


Yesterday we buried our dog BoBo. We had to wait until the weather was drier than the overcast damp we've had for the past week. We're both pushing 60 and have arthritis.

Paul dug the grave near where our other two dogs, Silky and Pocorn, are buried. Silky, our cocker spaniel, passed away in 2001 from heart failure. She was almost 13. Popcorn, our first bichon frise, died in 2006. He was a little more than 15 years old. That's 3 dogs lost in 8 years.

It was cloudy. But, after BoBo was buried the sun came out. He would've liked that.

Friends say we should get another dog.

I can't go through this again.

Just one week ago... by Margaret Ullrich

Could it really only have been seven days?

We'd had a nice Thanksgiving. We were particularly grateful because our 8-year-old bichon frise, BoBo, was still with us. Paul walked him while I was preparing the turkey dinner. Paul thought Bobo would only be able to do a short walk, so he meandered in the neighborhood instead of heading north or west. BoBo knows the neighborhood so well that, when he sees that he's being headed home, he pulls in the opposite direction.

BoBo wolfed down a generous portion of turkey. We decided to feed him whatever he wanted. He hated the special diet the vet had us giving him since April, when he was first diagnosed with having liver problems. BoBo wouldn't touch anything higher than 1 part medical food to 1 1/2 parts Beneful.

It was hard to believe he had cancer.

The previous Wednesday BoBo had suddenly had a seizure. My husband called the vet for an appointment. The next day he took BoBo to the vet for some blood work and was told to return the next day.

The next morning Bobo had another fit. Paul took him to the vet for x rays. We'd never had a dog have a serious medical problem at such a young age, so we still hoped the vet would find the right medicine for him.

The news wasn't good. BoBo had liver cancer. Paul saw the x ray - BoBo's enlarged liver was pressing on his other organs. The vet gave us pills and a liquid (squirted by syringe into BoBo's mouth 3 times a day) to control the seizures and keep him comfortable. BoBo seemed okay.

We took BoBo for a walk and talked about how life was going to change. For 37 years we'd had at least one dog with all that entails: does a motel accept dogs, going to see a tourist sight solo while the other stayed out with the dogs, not leaving them alone for more than 4 hours, somebody there to take a walk at regular intervals no matter the weather, getting up at night to let a dog out to pee, cleaning up after them.

Then, on Friday evening, BoBo had terrible seizures that lasted while Paul was out and during most of the night. We gave BoBo the medicine to control the seizures, but we were afraid to leave him alone in case he had another. What about going to church, the dentist, etc.?

By Saturday BoBo couldn't walk far. What shocked us was how suddenly this all happened. On Friday we had taken him for an hour long walk, now he just very slowly walked a little in the yard. Other than that, he seemed comfortable.

On Sunday we drove to Portage la Prairie to see the deer and walk in the park surrounded by the lake. At first BoBo seemed sleepy, so we thought it would just be a 5 minute look around and that we would have to carry him. Then BoBo suddenly perked up and wanted to explore. We walked around the arboretum, the water slide park and the pond. He even wanted to approach the kids we saw. He was on the go for over an hour.

Then we went to our traditional spot - Dairy Queen. BoBo still had an appetite for their fries and burger, with a few spoonfuls of pumpkin pie blizzard for dessert. After that he wanted another walk. He had a good night and peed and pooped twice.

Last Tuesday, the day after Thanksgiving, the Bathfitter came to do our bathroom. Bobo insisted on an hour and a half walk and saw many of his friends. After lunch BoBo wanted another hour and a half walk. He also barked at the Bathfitter man, who laughed and said he'd also had a bichon who thought he was bigger than he actually was.

We thought BoBo would be with us for a while. Our other bichon frise, Popcorn, had also been diagnosed with liver cancer. We remembered how we had been nervous for a few months. We'd gone to Riding Mountain for a week and brought 3 large garbage bags in case Popcorn died during our stay. He'd survived about 6 months after his diagnosis.

So, we decided to take it one day at a time.