Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Don't Tell Me About St. Patrick (part 2 - by Margaret Ullrich)

There's lots of stuff about Ireland on the internet.  
Did you know that corned beef is not the national dish?  It was eaten as a last resort during hard times.  
Irish coffee was the invention of the Buena Vista Cafe in San Francisco.  
When Irish Eyes are Smiling is an American song.  
And many Irish people consider green to be an unlucky color.
Finally I found The Traditional Irish Soda Bread Recipe and double clicked.  

Now how was I supposed to know the cosmic forces that click would unleash?  
Before you could say "Faith and beggorah", my computer started to glow, I heard a banshee wail and my printer took on a life of its own printing sheets of I didn't know what.  

Odd characters strolled around my room.  They looked like a touring company of The Lord of Rings.  Some were chanting, some were crying and some were doing tai chi.  

This was not a good thing.
Enough was enough.  I pressed the option and command keys, made the sign of the cross and punched the escape key.  
It worked.  
iMac 1, Druids 0.
The pages were all over the floor.  
Seems somebody is holding a cosmic grudge.  

Acccording to legend, St. Patrick put a curse on venomous snakes in Ireland.  Then he drove all the snakes into the sea.  
Well, according to my visiting Hobbits, the snakes were a popular tourist attraction, their version of the Narcisse Wildlife Management Area.  

You've heard of Narcisse, where thousands of red-sided garter snakes emerge from the limestone sinkholes in late April and tangle in a mating ritual for three weeks.  Ok, it's not Disneyland, but tourists come and spend and that's always a good thing.  
Why wreck a nice little cottage industry?  
Why, indeed.  
I guess History rewrites by the winner is not a new thing.

Oh, among the pages was a recipe for traditional Irish Soda Bread.  
I don't think I'll try it.  
No, the corned beef and cabbage is enough.  
I don't need the bread.  

Hmm... the Atkins diet, which cuts out bread, is sure popular in the Age of Aquarius.  

I think not. 

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