Living la Vida Oprah, part 2 by Margaret Ullrich

Back to Robyn Okrant’s book Living Oprah…

I wasn’t too impressed with what I’d read in the January chapter.

February, what Robyn called An enterprising month, wasn’t much better.

Robyn mentioned that some of Oprah’s assignments made her hackles rise.

I’d have to say some of them made my breakfast rise.

One guest, Dr. Mehmet Oz, had an antiaging plan.

For someone Robyn’s age that just refers to smoothing wrinkles and hiding grey hair.

Dr. Oz’s advice was same old, same old… fibre, exercise and antioxidants.

Robyn was also told that the best fecal matter is S-shaped.  Really.

Antiaging means something a little different when you’re a senior.

If you’re not getting older, then you have died.  Those are our options.  

A new eye cream is not going to make a bit of difference.

About the fecal matter… when I’m scooping out a bit for my annual fecal occult tests I do not care if the poop is shaped like an S or like a pretzel.

It’s in the bowl, I scoop a bit, shmear it on the card, end of story. 

Robyn attended a taping of an Oprah show, where William Shatner was the guest.

She and the others had to prove they’d been fans of the original Star Trek.

As in Tina Fey dressed as Princess Leia to avoid jury duty on 30 Rock.

The audience was reminded to shop at The Oprah Store, near the studio.  Really.

There was a disturbing section on Oprah’s endorsement of Obama.

As a Canadian, I have no problem with Oprah’s choice or with Obama as president.

I have a problem with Oprah using her power on voters who obey everything she says.

In 2007 USA Today ranked Oprah as the most influential woman of the past 25 years.

That doesn’t make her an expert on what’s best for any person or country.

As Voltaire and Stan Lee (through Spider-Man) once said:

"With great power comes great responsibility."

I was not impressed with Oprah’s "Seize the opportunity… We need Barack Obama."

The chapter on March was about what Oprah does best: telling people to shop.

Oprah had a list of 12 items of clothing women need to own to be properly dressed.

The first item was a trenchcoat.

In 1967 I'd bought a creamsicle orange trenchcoat and a shiny plastic orange hat.
The hat was very similar to that worn by Clint Eastwood in his spaghetti western days.

When I wore the outfit to work a co-worker asked if my horse was tied outside.

End of my trenchcoat wearing days.

About the other items: turtlenecks, white jeans, cashmere sweater, an oversized bag, leopard print flats… It must have been meant as an April Fool’s show.

Robyn also wrote about reality TV shows, especially the ambush makeover shows.

I have to admit that I was a fan of What Not to Wear.

But Stacy and Clinton gave advice geared to a particular woman’s shape and age.

They had enough respect and sense to realize that one size NEVER fits all.

Oprah’s list and comments - “You need a crisp white shirt” - are useless.

I’d worn white shirts as part of my school uniform for 12 years, and that was enough.

I’m warming up to Robyn.

Along with sharing scoliosis, we each have a limited style sense and frizzy hair.

I’m losing patience with Oprah.  

About tomorrow’s full moon in Libra…

It’s also called a "Seed Moon", "Sprouting Grass Moon", "Egg Moon" and “Fish Moon”.

In some areas there might’ve been some sense to the names.

Not here.  Not this Spring.

According to the folks at astrology.com:
The full Moon in the social sign of Libra highlights how you get along with people. 

Think of a lunar eclipse as a bright beam of light that follows you - you may be able to run, but you can't hide! Plan on hitting a few unexpected snags. 

Since people are especially emotional this week, do what you can to create peace.