Anna Sultana’s Ricotta Pie, Tart Ricotta Pie, Cannoli Pie with Sugar Cone Crust, Cannoli Cake, Cannoli Cookies / Would Santa Ever Find Me? by Margaret Ullrich

It's December 21st, the first day of winter.
This past week we’ve had two snowstorms, and, with the winds, we had white outs.
The weather was so bad that the buses couldn’t run and they had to shut down the schools.
In Manitoba the ‘first day of winter’ bit just gets an eye roll.
Like, it’s December, put on your toque and get your shovel.

No matter the weather, the holiday season is here.
All together now: Tradition... Tradition...
I know that most of the time everyone just does what they have - or want - to do.
But  the holiday season has rules - I mean, traditions - that must be followed.
Yippee kay yoh kay yay!


My Christmas traditions are Maltese and Italian.
Whether we were visiting Sicilian relative or eating at home we always had Ricotta Pie and fresh - practically made-to-order - Cannoli for Christmas.

Ricotta Pie is very simple to make and can be served for a light brunch any time of the year.

If you’re not Italian, cannoli is a tube-shaped dessert made of fried pastry dough filled with a sweet cheese, usually ricotta, filling.
Traditional Italian bakers fill the tube just before serving to keep the tube crisp.
Leftovers have to be refrigerated.
But after a day the shell gets soft and the cannoli just isn’t as good.
That’s why my mother and aunts started using the filling in pies and cakes and cookies.

If you're not interested in frying pastry dough while everyone is having fun around the tree, these recipes are fine cannoli substitutes.

Merry Christmas!!


Hints:

For a smooth texture, drain ricotta for at least an hour in a cheesecloth lined strainer, and have it at room temperature before using.

The ricotta and cannoli pies and the cannoli cake should be refrigerated.
The cookies will be fine at room temperature.

Traditional Pie Crust:
Place in large bowl
4 Cups flour
1 1/2 Cups cold unsalted butter, cubed
Cut in butter.
Make a well in the centre and add
1 egg, beaten
1/2 Cup ice water
3 Tablespoons sour cream
1 Tablespoon vinegar
1 Tablespoon sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
Stir together and form into 3 balls.
Roll out 1 ball slightly larger than a 9 inch pie plate.
Gently fit it in, crimp the edges, and trim excess.
Repeat with remaining 2 balls.


About the Cannoli Pie with Sugar Cone Crust…
To make it ahead replace the confectioner’s sugar with one can sweetened condensed milk and freeze overnight.
Let it sit for 15 to 20 minutes before slicing.


                                                     Ricotta Pie                                                              

Have prepared in 9 inch pie plate
1 pie crust

Place in a large bowl
2 Cups whole milk ricotta
Whisk until smooth.
Add
3/4 Cup sugar
3 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
Zest of 1 lemon
1/4 teaspoon salt
Mix until creamy and fully combined.

Preheat oven to 350° F

Pour the filling into the pie crust and smooth the top.
Bake for 50 to 60 minutes, until the centre is set and the top is golden.
Let the pie cool completely on a wire rack.
Refrigerate for at least 2 hours, or overnight.
Just before slicing, dust with
Confectioner’s sugar

                                                     Tart Ricotta Pie

Have prepared in 9 inch pie plate
1 pie crust

Place in a large bowl
1 Cup sugar
4 large eggs
1 Tablespoon vanilla
Whisk together until smooth, about 1 minute.
Add
2 Cups whole milk ricotta
1/4 Cup sour cream
Zest and juice of 1 lemon
Mix until well combined.
Stir in
1/4 Cup flour
Pinch of salt
Mix until no lumps remain.

Preheat oven to 350° F

Pour the filling into the pie crust and smooth the top.
Bake for 45 to 50 minutes, or until set and only slightly jiggly in the centre.
Cool completely at room temperature, then refrigerate for at least 2 (preferably 4) hours.
Before serving, dust top with
1 Tablespoon cinnamon


                                                     Cannoli Pie with Sugar Cone Crust

Preheat oven to 350° F 

Sugar Cone Pie Crust:
Crush 12 sugar cones to get 1 1/2 Cups of 1/4 inch bits and finer crumbs.
Add
4 Tablespoons butter, melted
Combine until blended.
Press crumbs into a 9 inch pie plate.
Bake for 5 minutes. Let cool completely.

Place in a large mixer bowl
2 1/2 Cups heavy cream
Whip to stiff peaks.
For the filling: measure out 2 cups and set aside.
For the topping: place the remainder in a bowl, cover, and refrigerate.

Place in the same large mixer bowl (you don’t need to wash it)
8 ounces mascarpone cheese, room temperature
4 ounces cream cheese, room temperature
Beat for 3 minutes.
Add
1 Cup Confectioner’s sugar
Beat until smooth.
Add
1 Cup ricotta cheese
1 1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1 teaspoon orange zest
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
Beat 3 minutes.
Gently fold in the 2 Cups of whipped cream.
Pour into the cooled crust and smooth the top.

Whisk into the refrigerated whipped cream
3 Tablespoons Confectioner’s sugar
Pipe whipped cream around the edge of the pie.
Sprinkle with
1/3 Cup mini chocolate chips
1/3 Cup chopped pistachios
Refrigerate for at least 4 hours before serving.

                       Cannoli Cake

Preheat oven to 350° F
Grease and flour three 8 inch round cake pans.

Place in a medium bowl
2 1/2 Cups flour
2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
Whisk together.


Place in a large mixer bowl
1 Cup unsalted butter, softened
1 3/4 Cups sugar
Cream together until light and fluffy.
Beat in, one at a time
4 large eggs
Add
1 Tablespoon vanilla
Making 3 dry and 2 liquid additions, add
the flour mixture
1 Cup milk
Mix gently, just until combined.
Fold in
1/2 Cup mini chocolate chips
Divide batter evenly among prepared pans.
Bake for 25 to 30 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean.
Let cool completely.

For the cake’s topping:
Place in a large mixer bowl
2 1/2 Cups heavy cream
Whip to stiff peaks.
Place in a bowl, cover, and refrigerate.

For decorating: (optional)
Place in a small mixer bowl
1/2 Cup heavy cream
Whip to stiff peaks.
Whisk in
1/2 Tablespoon Confectioner’s sugar
Cover and refrigerate.

Cannoli Filling:
Place in the same large mixer bowl (you don’t need to wash it)
1 1/2 Cups ricotta cheese
1 Cup mascarpone cheese
1 Cup Confectioner’s sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
Beat until smooth.
Layer the cake with half of cannoli filling between the layers.
Cover the top and sides with cake's topping whipped cream 

Pipe the cream for decorating around the edge of the cake. (optional)
Sprinkle over the top
1 Cup mini chocolate chips
                                                             

                       Cannoli Cookies

Preheat oven to 350° F
Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper.

Place in a medium bowl
1 3/4 Cups flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
Whisk together and set aside.

Place in a large mixer bowl
1/2 Cup unsalted butter, softened
1 Cup sugar
Cream until light and fluffy.
Add
1 Cup whole milk ricotta cheese
1 large egg
1 teaspoon vanilla
Mix until smooth.
Gradually stir in the flour mixture.
Fold in
1 Tablespoon orange zest
3/4 Cup mini chocolate chips
Place tablespoon-sized balls of dough on the baking sheets.
Bake for 12 to 14 minutes, or until the edges are just turning golden.

Place in small microwaveable bowl
1 Cup chocolate chips (your choice of sweetness)
Microwave until just melted.

After cookies have cooled completely, dust with
Confectioner’s sugar
Drizzle with
Melted chocolate
Store them in a tin that’s been lined with wax paper.

                                                                  ~~~

 

In 2004 I wrote this story for our CKUW radio show '2000 & Counting - Older & Wiser'. 

For a while it was our annual tradition.

I got a few e mails asking if I could post the original story. 


Here it is.

If you'd like to try some of the recipes, I've posted many of them. Just copy the name and paste it in the 'looking for a recipe' box.

 

Change follows us from the cradle to the grave. When I was five years old I was hit with a megadose of change. I moved to another town, got a baby sister, got to go to kindergarten and got Santa Claus. 
 


Five years earlier my parents and I had emigrated from Malta to New York and settled in Corona. We didn't have much choice. Five of Pop's brothers and sisters lived in Corona. So, we had to live in Corona, too. 
 


Corona was a little slice of Italy on Long Island. The store clerks were bilingual: English and Italian. The grocery stores in Corona were stocked with Italian necessities. Almost everything in all the other stores had been imported from Italy. 
Corona was where we learned how to be Americans. 
 


Nonni's children, Betty and Angelo, had married two of Pop's siblings, Joe and Helen. So, Nonni was a double Grandma in my family. Since all my grandparents were in Malta, Nonni treated me as a grandchild, too. 
 


Every Christmas Eve we gathered at Uncle Joe and Aunt Betty's home. A whole corner of their living room was filled with Nonni's manger scene. It was not just a shed with Mary, Joseph, three kings and one shepherd standing around Baby Jesus. Nonni had a complete village with houses, trees, hills, paths, ponds and animals. There were people walking around just minding their own business. Some of the figures were really old and we couldn't play with them.

But each year Nonni added something new: a woman carrying a basket of eggs, a farmer carrying a head of cabbage, a man carrying a bundle of wood. Nonni’s manger scene was better than any store window on 5th Avenue in Manhattan.

Dinner was a feast. Fish was traditional: eel for the parents, bluefish for the children. There was also soup, pasta and vegetables, followed by ricotta pie, anise biscotti, pizzelle and cuccidati cookies, strufoli, creamy roasted chestnuts and torrone candy. My favourite was the huge golden mound of strufoli: tiny doughnut balls covered with honey and multi-coloured sprinkles. 

After dinner we played games and our parents talked until it was time to walk to the Midnight Mass at St. Leo's. After Mass we returned to Uncle Joe's for some panettone, a holiday bread made with butter, raisins, almonds and citron. 



Then Nonni would tell us to look at the manger scene for the surprise. The blessed Bambino, Baby Jesus, had suddenly appeared!



Christmas Eve was a wonderful night. But the big day for us children was January sixth. The night before we had hung our stockings and waited for La Befana to bring us toys. 



La Befana was a little old lady who had been sweeping her house when the Wise Men knocked on her door. They were looking for Baby Jesus and asked La Befana for directions. Then they invited La Befana to join them. 

The old woman refused, saying she had work to do. 
 


When it was dark, a great light and angels appeared in the sky. La Befana realized that the Wise Men weren't kidding about somebody special being born that night. Broom in hand, La Befana tried to catch up with the Wise Men. She never found them or Baby Jesus. 

Every year she searches for Baby Jesus and leaves presents for good little boys and girls. 




La Befana took care of me for four years. Then we moved to College Point so we could live closer to Lily Tulip where Pop worked. Then it was time for my sister to be born. While Ma was in the hospital I stayed with Aunt Betty, Uncle Joe and their two daughters. It was nice living in Corona again. The next day, Nonni took me to the local 5 and 10 and gave me a quarter. 
 


"Buy for sister."

I didn't know what a baby sister would want. I liked westerns, so I grabbed a toy gun. 

"No. Buy a rattle." 

A rattle? That sounded boring, but I bought a pink plastic rattle. 
 


In those days children were not allowed to visit anyone in the hospital. When Aunt Betty visited Ma, she gave the rattle to my new sister. I waited outside the hospital and waved to the window of Ma's room. When Aunt Betty returned she had a gift from my new sister for me. Three pieces of chocolate. 


Well, wasn't that nice of her. Not as nice as a toy gun, but maybe that was all she could get from where she'd been. 
 




After Rose was born we didn't go to Corona as often. It was easier to walk to the local church instead of driving to St. Leo's. I missed seeing my family. 



That September I started kindergarten in St. Fidelis School. Some of the good sisters had wanted to travel and meet exotic heathens in far away places. Well, they almost got their wish. I was the first Maltese child they'd ever seen. College Point had been settled by Irish and German families. It was time for me to learn about America through their eyes. 
 


As Christmas approached, the windows of the German bakeries were filled with the most beautiful cookies I'd ever seen. They were in all kinds of shapes: stars, angels, animals and wreaths. They were decorated with coconut, jam, icing and tiny silver balls. 

Some of my classmates brought in samples of their mothers' baking. I brought some biscotti. My friends were polite and tasted the dry, double-baked bread. Then we ate the lebkuchen, pfeffernuesse, zimtsterne, and jam filled spitzbuben. The stollen reminded me of panettone. 
 


I thought a German Christmas was delicious. I planned to eat German and Italian holiday food every Christmas for the rest of my life. 
 


We helped Sister decorate the Christmas tree with sugar cookies which had been twisted into figure eights. Then Sister told us to gather around her. She was going to read us a story. Sister showed us the picture of Santa Claus and his eight reindeer. My friends were delighted. 



I was confused. 
 


I had never heard any of this before. Santa was supposed to slide down a chimney and land in a fireplace. 

We didn't have a fireplace. We had a huge, oil-burning furnace in the basement. Ma hung our stockings, along with all the other wet laundry, on a clothesline near the furnace. It made awful noises and had fire in it. If Santa landed in the furnace he'd fry like a strufoli. That would end Christmas forever. I didn't think Santa would take such a risk for a total stranger. The lovely cookies felt like lead in my stomach.



Sister talked about Santa checking his list of good little girls and boys. 

Santa had a list? I knew we were on the Registered Aliens list. Every January the TV reminded Ma to fill out green cards so we wouldn't go to jail or Malta. How could I get on Santa's list? Could Santa get my name from the Alien list? Did I need to fill out another card? 
 


The afternoon went from bad to worse. Sister told us we could put our letters to Santa in the special mailbox in the classroom. A letter? What language did Santa speak? He'd never heard from me. I wasn't on his list. What could I say? 
 


"Hi, you don't know me, but I'd like some toys." I'd never written a letter to La Befana. She just gave me toys. Would Santa shoot La Befana if she came to College Point? Oh, boy… I was in big trouble. 
 


In kindergarten we learned about God the Father, about how we should pray to Him and tell Him what we needed. I didn't need another Father. I figured if my Pop was always busy working, this guy who took care of everything in the whole wide world would really never have time for me. 



I needed a Grandma.
 


The next time we went to Corona I told Nonni about Santa Claus and that he was in charge of Christmas in College Point. Nonni listened patiently as I explained the rules. 

She repeated the main points: "Santa Claus. A letter."

I nodded. 

"I fix. I write letter to Befana. She give to Santa. No hard feelings. Christmas come." 
 


I had my doubts. Nonni had never been to College Point. Maybe nobody ever had to change from La Befana to Santa Claus. Maybe Christmas was lost forever, like some of the packages we never got from Malta.
 


On Christmas Eve we all gathered at Uncle Joe and Aunt Betty's home in Corona. We had the Christmas Eve dinner. Then we went to St. Leo's for the Midnight Mass. Everything was familiar. Latin and Italian. Why couldn't we have stayed there? 



When we were leaving the church I saw a pale cloud in the sky. It looked long and thin, with a sort of lump on one end. For a moment I thought it looked like Santa and his sleigh with eight tiny reindeer. I kept looking at that cloud. It followed us from the church to Uncle Joe's house, where we had panettone.  

When we left, the cloud was still there. I watched from the car. The cloud followed us from Corona to College Point. 
 


I never noticed clouds before. Did clouds always follow people from one town to another? Was it really a cloud? Sister had told us that Santa had millions of helpers, tiny people called elves. Could it have been an elf picking up the letter from La Befana?
 


Christmas morning, Pop was eating breakfast while Ma was cleaning Rose. Ma sent me to the basement to get some dry diapers that were hanging by the furnace. Being a big sister wasn't much fun. I pulled down two diapers. Then I noticed some lumps by the furnace. I thought some clothes had fallen off the line. I walked toward the furnace. 


 
But the lumps weren't clothes.  


They were boxes. 

They were wrapped. 

They were presents! 

They were for me!!



Santa had found me.

Breads: Cinnamon Donut, Cinnamon Swirl Donut, Lemon Blueberry Loaf, Starbucks Lemon Loaf, Lemon Loaf, Lemon Cottage Loaf / Christmas Baking by Margaret Ullrich

Okay… we’re dashing down the icy Christmas highway.
It’s all going to hit the fan in seven days.


Unless you’ve managed to find something as life changing and important as the Red Ryder Carbine Action 200-shot Range Model air rifle from Jean Shepherd’s A Christmas Story, everyone’s main focus is going to be on what you are going to feed them.

Think about about all the most important Christmas movie scenes:
The Cratchit’s family dinner - the one with Tim’s big ‘God bless us, everyone’ scene - in each and every version of A Christmas Carol
The lime jello with cat food that accompanied the Griswold’s overcooked turkey that exploded in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Nora racing to get the last can of Mel's Hickory Honey Ham in Christmas with the Kranks
The reaction the whole neighbourhood had when Nora confessed that she couldn’t get the ham and they would have to feast on smoked trout

No doubt about it.
Your meal will have an audience who will be taking note and recording every little detail of your dinner, from soup to nuts.
Most likely they’ll also be posting pictures on Facebook.
No pressure.

Come to think of it, food played an important part in A Christmas Story.
Remember when, after the excitement from unwrapping the gifts was over, the Bumpus’s hound dogs broke into the Parkers’ home and devoured their turkey?
Destroying their chance of having turkey leftovers in all its tradition forms.
The last memory Ralphie had of that Christmas was the Chinese turkey they were introduced to in the Chinese restaurant.
THE. LAST. MEMORY.

Yes, food is THAT important.

If you haven’t baked a fruitcake, all’s not lost.
These breads don’t need to age.
They can serve as a brunch or as a dessert.

Well, it’s a start.


Hints:

If you do not have buttermilk add a tablespoon of lemon juice or vinegar to one cup milk and let sit five minutes. Stir and use.

About the Cinnamon Donut Bread…
For seasonal twists use pumpkin pie spice or cardamom instead of cinnamon.

This loaf is ideal for breakfast, snacks, or an after dinner dessert.
Wrapped, this loaf stays moist for up to three days. it can also be frozen for up to 2 months. Thaw at room temperature.


About the Starbucks Lemon Loaf (Copycat)…
For a brighter flavour use more lemon zest and a touch less extract.
Don’t overmix when you add the dry ingredients. Small lumps are okay.
Avoid overbaking for the moistest texture.
Store in airtight container to store at room temperature for up to 5 days.
Wrap cooled loaf tightly and freeze for up to 3 months. Thaw overnight in fridge before serving.


About the Lemon Cottage Loaf…
Two lemons will be enough for both the juice and zest needed.

Start with one tablespoon juice, cream and sugar for the icing. Add more sugar if the icing is too thin, because you want the icing thick, but still pourable.
Add 1/2 teaspoon more of liquid if it’s too thick.

When the bread is completely cooled, and the icing is hardened store in an airtight container. You can store it at room temperature for 4 to 5 days.
Don’t store the lemon loaf cake in the fridge or it will dry it out quicker.
This lemon loaf can also be frozen for up to 6 months. Thaw at room temperature.

 

                      Cinnamon Donut Bread

Preheat oven to 350° F
Grease a 9x5-inch loaf pan or line with parchment paper.

For the Cinnamon Sugar Topping:
1/2 Cup granulated sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon
Stir together.

 

For the Donut Bread:
Place in a medium bowl
2 large eggs
1 Cup buttermilk
1/2 Cup unsalted butter, melted
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
Stir together.

Place in a large bowl
2 Cups flour
3/4 Cup sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
Stir together.
Pour the wet mixture into the dry ingredients.
Stir gently until just combined.
Pour the batter into the prepared loaf pan.
Bake for 45 to 50 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the centre comes out clean.
Let the bread cool in the pan for 10 minutes before transferring it to a wire rack.
Brush the top with
1/4 Cup unsalted butter, melted
Sprinkle over the top the cinnamon sugar topping.
Slice and serve warm or at room temperature with butter or honey.


                                      Cinnamon Swirl Donut Bread

Preheat oven to 350° F
Grease an 8x4-inch loaf pan.

For the Cinnamon Sugar Topping:
Place in a large plate.
1/4 Cup sugar
1/4 Cup light brown sugar, packed
1 teaspoon cinnamon
Stir together and set aside.

For the Donut Bread:
Place in a small bowl
1 1/2 Cups flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
Stir together.

Place in a large mixer bowl
1/2 Cup butter, softened
1 Cup sugar
Beat together until light and fluffy, about 1 minute.
Add
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 Cup sour cream or Greek yogurt
Mix until smooth.

Add half of the flour mixture to the bowl. Stir just to blend.
Then add
1/4 Cup milk
Blend together, then add
Add the remaining flour mixture. Stir just to blend.
Then add
1/4 Cup milk
Stir just to blend.

Remove 1 Cup of the batter and place in a small bowl.
Stir in
1 Tablespoon molasses
2 teaspoons cinnamon

Pour half of the original batter into the prepared loaf pan.
Cover with the cinnamon / molasses batter.
Pour the remaining original batter on top.
Using a butter knife, swirl the layers together a bit.

Bake for 50 to 60 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the centre comes out clean.

Remove pan from oven, place on a wire rack and allow to cool for 10 minutes.
Run a knife around the edge, remove the bread from the pan, and transfer bread to a wire rack to finish cooling completely.
Make sure the loaf is cooled completely before adding topping. Otherwise, it will be too soft and could break when you try to lift and dip it.

Brush the top and sides of the loaf with
1/4 Cup unsalted butter, melted
Dip the top and sides of the loaf into the sugar mixture.
Slice and serve warm or at room temperature.

                      Lemon Blueberry Loaf

Preheat oven to 350° F
Grease and flour a 9x5-inch loaf pan.

Place in a small bowl
1 Cup fresh or frozen blueberries
1 Tablespoon flour
Toss together and set aside.
Place in a medium bowl
1 2/3 Cups flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
                                                      Stir together.

Place in a measuring cup
1/2 Cup milk
1 Tablespoon lemon juice
1 teaspoon lemon extract
Stir together.

Place in a large mixer bowl
1/2 Cup butter, softened
1 Cup sugar
Cream until fluffy.
Add, one at a time,
2 large eggs
Beat well after each addition.
Add alternately, making 3 dry and 2 liquid additions
the flour mixture
the milk mixture
Fold in
the floured blueberries

Pour batter into prepared pan.
Bake for 50 to 60 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the centre comes out clean.
Cool in the pan for 10 minutes before removing to a wire rack.
Run a knife around the edge, remove the bread from the pan, and transfer bread to a wire rack to finish cooling.

For the Lemon Syrup:
Place in a small saucepan
2 to 3 Tablespoons lemon juice
1 Cup confectioner’s sugar
Stirring constantly, cook over low heat until it thickens slightly.
Pour over the cooled bread and allow to cool completely before cutting.
 

           Starbucks Lemon Loaf (Copycat)

Preheat oven to 350° F
Spray a 9×5-inch loaf pan with cooking spray.
Set aside.

Place in a large mixer bowl
1 Cup sugar
3 large eggs
1 Cup sour cream
Beat until smooth.
While mixing on low speed, gradually add
1/2 Cup vegetable oil
Zest of 1 large lemon
2 Tablespoons lemon extract
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
Beat to combine.
Stir in
1 1/2 Cups flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
Stir until just combined.

Pour batter into the prepared loaf pan.
Bake for 40 to 45 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the centre comes out clean. If browning too much, tent with foil during the last 10 to 15 minutes.
Allow the loaf to cool completely in the pan.
Transfer bread to a wire rack to finish cooling completely before glazing.

For the Glaze:
Place in a medium bowl
1 Tablespoon lemon juice
1 Tablespoon milk
Stir together, then gradually add
1 Cup confectioner’s sugar (more if needed for consistency)
Beat until smooth.
Drizzle over cooled loaf.
Let set, then slice and serve.


                                      Lemon Loaf (Starbucks Copycat)

Preheat oven to 350° F
With a pencil, trace the bottom of the pan on a piece of waxed paper and cut out with scissors. Line the bottom of a 9x5-inch loaf pan with a piece of waxed paper. Spray the pan and paper with non-stick baking spray.
Set aside.

Place in a medium bowl
1 1/2 Cups flour
1 (3.4 oz. package) instant lemon pudding mix
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
Stir to combine.

Place in a large mixer bowl
3 large eggs
1 Cup sugar
2 Tablespoons butter, softened
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 Tablespoon lemon extract
1/3 Cup lemon juice
1/2 Cup oil
3/4 Cup plain Greek yogurt
Blend until evenly combined.
Gradually add the dry ingredients, stopping to scrape down the sides of the bowl, until just combined.
Pour batter into the prepared pan.
Bake for 55 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the centre comes out clean.
Remove pan from oven, place on a wire rack and allow to cool for 10 minutes.
Run a knife around the edge, invert and remove bread from the pan, then remove the waxed paper from the bottom.
Transfer bread to a wire rack to finish cooling completely.

For the Frosting:
Place in a small mixer bowl
3 Tablespoons butter, softened
3 Tablespoons lemon juice
1 teaspoon lemon extract
Beat to combine.
Gradually add
1 1/2 Cups confectioner’s sugar
Beat until smooth and creamy.
Evenly spread the frosting over the top of the loaf.
Refrigerate to let frosting set completely before slicing.
Store any leftovers in an airtight container in the refrigerator.

                                       Lemon Cottage Loaf

Preheat oven to 350° F
Grease an 8 inch square baking pan.

Place in a medium bowl
1 1/2 Cups flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
Stir to combine and set aside.

Place in a large mixer bowl
1/2 Cup butter, softened
Cream until smooth.
Add
1 Cup sugar
Mix for 2 to 3 minutes, until light and fluffy, scraping down the sides of the bowl as it mixes.
While mixing on low, add one at a time
3 large eggs
Add
2 Tablespoons lemon juice
1 Tablespoon lemon zest
1 teaspoon lemon extract (optional)
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
Stir until just combined.
Add in half the dry ingredients mixing until just combined.
Add
1/4 Cup buttermilk
Blend in, then slowly mix in the remaining flour mixture.
Add
1/4 Cup buttermilk
Blend in.
Spoon the batter into the prepared baking pan and smooth the top evenly with a spatula.
Bake for about 45 to 55 minutes until a toothpick can come out clean.
Remove from the oven and place on a wire rack.
Let cool in the pan for 1 hour, then carefully remove loaf to continue cooling on the wire rack.
When the loaf is completely cooled, prepare the icing.

For the Icing:
Place in a small mixer bowl
1 Tablespoon lemon juice
1 Tablespoon heavy cream
Stir to combine.
Gradually add
1 Cup confectioner’s sugar
Beat until smooth and creamy.
Add more powdered sugar if the glaze seems too thin.

Pour glaze over the loaf. Let the glaze set completely before slicing and serving.
Slice and serve.

                                                        ~~~

I also wrote the following essay about Christmas traditions for our CKUW radio show ‘2000 & Counting’.
Over the years our listeners asked for some seasonal stories to be repeated.
They seemed to like being reminded that we were all in the same holiday boat, a communal ship which made us feel like we were all sinking fast.

Ah… Christmas shopping, holiday customs, holiday baking…
Why do we do it?

I don't know about you, but as far as I'm concerned, there are two questions no one should ever ask a woman. 



The first is "How old are you?"

The second is "Have you done your holiday baking yet?”



Why is it that, when the thermometer falls, we're supposed to bake?  
Does the Queen whip up a fruitcake before writing her speech?


I don't think so.  



Holiday baking has been with us an awfully long time. 
Did you know that ginger was popular in Greece over 5,000 years ago? The Egyptians were eating gingerbread when the great pyramid of Cheops was just a brick and a prayer. I wonder what their gingerbread men looked like.


A few years after Egypt's building boom, an English King and his hunting party got lost in a blizzard on Christmas Eve. Well, they were clever lads full of English pluck, so they threw everything they had - meat, flour, sugar, apples, ale and brandy - into a bag and cooked it. Wallah!! Plum pudding. The Iron Chef would've been proud.  



On Christmas Day in 1666, Samuel Pepys wrote in his diary that he had risen earlier than his wife Who was desirous to sleep having sat up till four this morning seeing her maids make mince pies. 

I really admire Mrs. P. She just sat and watched her maids do the work, yet her husband felt guilty about her workload. How did she get him to suffer like that?



Some Christmas carols seem a little too focused on food. For example:

            Now bring us some figgy pudding and a cup of good cheer!

            We won't go until we get some, so bring it out here.
Those were somebody's friends? Somebody should've called the cops.


Holiday baking has followed us into modern times. The 1970s was the decade of old time family television shows like The Waltons and memoir books. 
Have you ever browsed through a memoir book? They reminded us of times like this...


Evenings when a cold blustery wind howled outside were perfect for sorting through recipes. They were cozy times. The children were sitting at the oak table helping Mama chop fruit and raisins. Papa was cracking and shelling nuts and crushing fresh spices in the grinder.

Isn't that sweet? Sentences like that convinced me that if we did things just like people did before television was invented, the world would be a kinder, gentler place.



We'll never know. Paul told me, in no uncertain terms, that he was too busy to grind nuts for a cake he didn't even want. 
Alright. Scratch Paul grinding his nuts. I bought ground nuts.


Step two... the batter had to be mixed. Back to that memoir...

When all the fruits were in, Grandmother called, 'Come, stir the batter!' 
We all took turns giving it a stir - clockwise for good luck - and made a wish.



I made a batter, threw in the fruits and called out, "Come, stir the batter!"



Carl pointed to the electric mixer sitting on the counter and said that he was staying on the eighth level of his computer game, The Temple of Ra. He also told me, in no uncertain terms, that he was too busy to stir batter for a cake he didn't even want.



I stirred the batter, clockwise.


Don't ask what I wished.



It's been downhill ever since. Do you know about the charming Swedish custom of hiding a whole almond in a serving bowl of rice pudding? The lucky person who finds the almond has to get married or do the dishes. Either my husband or my son - the fink never confessed - managed to swallow the almond every time.



I tried the German version - whoever finds the almond receives a marzipan pig. By then Paul and Carl had their own tradition: swallowing the almond. I felt so guilty looking at that poor rejected pig. 
I started my own tradition and ate him... along with the cake.



 
There's a Christmas carol that goes
Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat...


Well, the goose isn't the only one.

Anna Sultana’s Rice Pudding and Rice Custard / The First Maltese Lucia Queen by Margaret Ullrich

 

Sometimes we catch a financial break during the holiday season.
Not huge, but every little bit helps.
There are actually some Christmas traditions that are kind to our budgets.
The Swedish people have a Christmas dessert tradition that actually uses some leftovers.
How great is that!


Ma was a fan of rice puddings.
Ross il-forn (Maltese Style baked rice) was a regular dinner for us, especially towards the end of the month.
It uses a few slices of bacon and a small amount of ground beef to make dinner for five.
It was mostly rice baked in a tomato sauce, which was just fine with us.
Ma figured rice could make a good, filling dessert, too.

I guess one Lily Tulip co-worker gave her one recipe.
Then another pal gave her a different recipe, and, as time went on, she had quite an assortment of recipes.
Whether or not there was leftover rice in the fridge, she was all set to make a dessert.

Hints: 

About the Easiest Rice Pudding…
Add the zest of 1 lemon or orange (or a teaspoon of extract) when you add the vanilla.

To make a vegan rice pudding, use 2 Cups almond milk and 2 Cups coconut milk (or 4 Cups of either) instead of dairy milk.

About the Creamy Rice Pudding…
For creamier pudding, use short or medium-grain rice. You can also use 2 Cups leftover rice instead of the uncooked white rice, and skip the rice cooking part.
Adjust the amount of liquid in the Dutch oven if you think the rice is too dry.

This recipe is open to suggestions. You can add: dried cranberries, chopped dried apricots, brown sugar, pecans, or dates. For variety you can use water and half-and-half or almond milk. You can also add 1/2 teaspoon rum extract for a little kick.

For a tropical dessert add brown sugar, coconut extract, shredded coconut and chopped pineapple.

Place the Dutch oven under the broiler for a few minutes to give it a golden brown skin.

Allow the leftover rice pudding to cool, then transfer to an airtight container. Store in the fridge for up to five days. Reheat on the stove or in the microwave.

You can also freeze homemade rice pudding. Spoon the pudding into freezer-safe bags, leaving space at the top to allow for expansion. Freeze flat for up to three months.
Thaw in the refrigerator overnight, or in the microwave using the defrost setting.


About the Creamy Italian Stovetop Rice Pudding…
For an extra-rich version, replace half the milk with half-and-half or cream.
You can add 1 teaspoon almond extract for extra flavour.


                                            Easiest Rice Pudding

Place in a Dutch oven
1/2 Cup short grain white rice (Arborio, pearl, or Valencia)
1 1/2 Cups water
1 Tablespoon cinnamon
Bring to boil over medium heat, then reduce heat to low, cover, and simmer for 15 minutes, or until all the water is absorbed.
Add
4 Cups milk
1/2 Cup sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Stirring steadily, bring the mixture to a simmer over medium heat, then reduce heat to low.
Stirring occasionally, being sure to scrape the bottom of the pot when you do so to ensure the pudding doesn’t burn on the bottom, cook for 45 minutes, or until mixture is thick and creamy.
 
When the pudding is ready, remove from the heat and transfer the pudding to a serving dish or several dishes.
Serve slightly cooled, or refrigerate 3 hours or overnight until well chilled.
Garnish pudding with a sprinkle of ground cinnamon or nutmeg (optional)


                                            Creamy Rice Pudding

Pour into a Dutch oven
1 1/2 Cups cold water
Bring to a boil over medium heat.
Stir in
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 Cup uncooked white rice (long, medium or short grain, or basmatic or jasmine or brown)

Reduce heat to low, cover, and simmer until rice is tender and liquid has been absorbed, about 20 minutes.

Stir in
1 1/2 Cups milk
1/4 to 1/3 Cup white sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt

Cook over medium heat, stirring often, until thick and creamy, about 15 minutes.

Place in a small bowl
1/2 Cup milk or heavy cream or evaporated milk
1 egg, beaten
Mix together.
Stirring vigorously after each addition, gradually add a few spoonfuls of the rice / milk mixture the the milk / egg mixture to temper the egg.
Stir into the Dutch oven
2/3 Cup golden or Thompson raisins (optional)
the tempered milk / egg mixture


Cook 2 minutes more on low heat, stirring constantly.
Remove from heat and stir in
1 Tablespoon butter
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
Stir constantly until butter melts. Remove from heat. 

Serve warm or cool topped with a sprinkling of
cinnamon or nutmeg


                                            Rice Pudding Using Cooked Rice


Butter a 9x13x2-inch baking dish.

Place in a large mixing bowl
5 large eggs
Beat well, then beat in
2/3 Cup sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
4 Cups milk
1 teaspoon vanilla
Stir in
1 Cup cooked rice
1/2 Cup raisins (optional)
Pour into prepared baking dish.

Preheat oven to 325º F

Place the filled dish in a shallow pan large enough to hold the prepared baking dish.
Pour 1/2 inch of water into the shallow pan. It should come about halfway up the outside.
Sprinkle the top with
cinnamon, nutmeg or chocolate shavings
Bake 45 to 60 minutes, until custard is just firm and lightly browned on top.


                                            Creamy Italian Stove-top Rice Pudding

Place in a Dutch oven
3 1/4 Cups whole milk
3/4 Cup uncooked arborio rice
1/2 Cup granulated sugar
1/4 Cup unsalted butter
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
Pinch of salt
1/3 Cup golden raisins (optional)
Mix well.
Bring the mixture, uncovered, to a gentle simmer over medium heat.
Once simmering, reduce heat to low. Stir gently and constantly for about 20 minutes, or until the mixture thickens and the rice is soft and creamy.
Remove from heat and pour into 5 or 6 small individual bowls or a large bowl. It thickens as it cools.
Let the pudding cool to room temperature.
Either cover with a lid to allow a skin to form or cover with plastic wrap, pressing it gently against the surface to prevent a skin from forming.
Refrigerate for at least 2 hours or up to 3 days.
Before serving, dust generously with cinnamon.
 

                                            Baked Old-Fashioned Rice Pudding

Preheat oven to 300º F

Butter well a flat, deep baking dish.

Place in the buttered baking dish
3 to 4 Cups milk
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 eggs, lightly beaten
Stir well to blend, then stir in
1/4 to 1/3 Cup rice, uncooked
1/4 to 1/2 Cup sugar
1/2 Cup raisins
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg

Set the buttered baking dish in a large pan that will comfortably hold it.
Dot top with
2 Tablespoons butter, cut in smaller pieces
Fill the large pan with boiling water to the half-way point.
Bake uncovered for 2 to 3 hours, stirring every 15 minutes, carefully turning under the browned top and scraping the edges down.
Bake until the rice is tender and pudding is thick and creamy, not dry.
Serve hot or cold.


                                            Old-Fashioned Rice Custard

Preheat oven to 350º F

Break into a 2-quart buttered casserole
6 large eggs
Beat slightly with a fork.
Add
3 Cups milk

1 Cup sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla

1⁄2 teaspoon salt
Blend well.
Stir in
1 1⁄2 Cups cooked rice

1 Cup light raisins (sultana or golden)
Place the filled casserole dish inside a larger, shallow pan.
Pour 2 inches of water into the shallow pan. It should come about halfway up the outside of the casserole.
Bake for 30 minutes. Gently stir. Bake for an additional 45 minutes or until a knife inserted comes out clean.
Serve warm.


                                            Custard Style Rice Pudding

Preheat oven to 350º F

Place in a 4-quart buttered casserole
4 large eggs
3/4 Cup sugar
Beat together.
Slowly pour in
3 Cups milk
1 Cup heavy cream
Mix well.
Add
2 teaspoons vanilla
1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon
Mix well.
Add
3 Cups cooked rice, cooled
1 Cup raisins
Stir to combine.
Place the filled casserole dish inside a larger, shallow pan.
Pour 2 inches of water into the shallow pan. It should come about halfway up the outside of the casserole.
Bake for 30 minutes. Gently stir. Bake for an additional 60 minutes or until a knife inserted comes out clean.
Serve warm.

                                                                      ~~~

 

Along with being a co-host for the CKUW radio show ‘2000 & Counting’ from 1999 to 2007, I wrote stories and essays, which I then read live on air.
Back in 2000 I wrote this for our show.
No, I don’t do any of these seasonal feastday celebrations anymore.
At my age I have to conserve my energy for Christmas!

If you'd like to try something a bit different I have posted the recipes for the Maltese and Italian desserts over the years. Just copy and paste the name of the recipe in the 'search' box to the right, click and enjoy!

My parents and I immigrated to New York in 1950. A few years later, when I was in school, I asked why we didn't have anything pretty to eat for Christmas. My Ma told me that, in Malta, Christmas was a religious celebration. The focus was on God becoming man, not on cookies.

Maltese desserts are simple - fresh fruit and cheese with an occasional cookie. One Maltese cookie, the biskuttini tar rahal, could be described as hardened library paste with a hint of lemon and a dash of royal icing. A variation on the biskuttini cuts the sugar by half and replaces the royal icing with a sprinkling of sesame seeds.  
Both cookies are wonderful teething rings.  

Another favourite is the anise biscotti. The big thrill with a biscotti is seeing how much milk it can suck up before breaking in half and falling into your glass. 
It's like eating the sinking Titanic.  
For the holidays, we borrow from the Sicilians and make kannoli tar-rikotta (ricotta in a fried pastry tube) or a qassata (vanilla custard shmeared over a sponge cake).  
How lame is that?  

I knew my German classmates ended their meals with more oomph. Our parish, St. Fidelis, was a cookie heaven. The most amazing homemade cookies were brought to every church and school function by my friends' Moms. They were rich and gorgeous - the cookies, I mean. They were loaded with spices, fruits, nuts and jams, and were covered with thick layers of frosting and all sorts of sprinkles.  

When my Ma saw the competition she admitted defeat and took over the job of bringing coffee. I was free to eat whatever caught my eye. While I gushed, my friends' Moms all beamed. My friends thought I was nuttier than the cookies.  


My husband is a third generation American - half Swedish and half German. Okay, I was marrying into the Cookie Big Leagues. I thought, along with the change of name, I'd return from my honeymoon a changed woman able to make cookies with a capital ‘C’. To paraphrase the biblical story of Ruth, I believed, "What thou eatest, I will eat... thy cookies shall be my cookies..."

Well, you get the picture. Thanks to the movie ‘The Sound of Music’, I just knew we'd celebrate Christmas a la von Trapp: sitting beneath a huge, glowing tree, singing Edelweiss and munching beautiful cookies, my favorite things. Ethnic things.

The ethnic bit nearly ended my marriage.

There's an old German saying: ‘That which really tastes oft us trouble makes’.
Now, there's truth in advertising. Clear as a bell, they were warning me to not even go there. If I'd had half a brain I'd have just thrown in the mixing bowl and placed a huge order at the local German bakery for a deluxe assorted cookie platter, with some stollen on the side.

Nope, I didn't take the hint. I studied every German and Swedish cookbook I could find. The biggest surprise was that there were other days that had to be celebrated. Okay, I thought, practice makes perfect. Maybe it's like opening a Broadway show in Boston. 

I learned about their holiday customs.  

The first Advent biggie was December 6. St. Nicholas' Day. That called for small presents in Paul's shoes and some hot chocolate and buns for breakfast. No problem. The morning went without a hitch.  
Huzzah!! One day I'd bake cookies that looked like jewels!  


I spent more nights baking instead of sleeping. My next goal was an authentic Swedish Saint Lucia Day for our first December 13.
Maybe the lack of sleep was affecting my mind.  

According to one big fat book, a good Swedish wife got up at four a.m. to start tossing her cookies. God forbid any sunlight should shine on the dough or disaster would befall the household. Every hefty housefrau hoped a crescent moon was hovering on the horizon to bring good luck to the baking.  

No kidding. Without that sliver of light she could get killed, stumbling around in the dark like that. I really thought that if I followed the customs, my baking would get better. I got up at four a.m. and baked. Okay, I cheated. I used electric lights.  

Then I ran into a slight problem. According to tradition, saffron buns and coffee were served between three and four a.m. by the eldest daughter, who was dressed as the Lucia Queen. We didn't have children and I couldn't borrow a neighbour's kid for that ungodly hour. I had to make some changes in the sacred customs. I, as an eldest daughter, became the first Maltese Lucia Queen. Ever.

I stitched up a long white robe and tied shining red balls to our Advent wreath. I memorized the traditional poem. Then, when I saw how much saffron cost, I made another teeny change. I made cinnamon buns. What harm could it do?


The days flew. Finally, it was December 13, 3:45 a.m. Show Time!
I was clad in white, balancing an advent wreath with bouncing red balls and gleaming white candles upon my head. I was a glowing, flaming cherries jubilee, clutching a tray laden with coffee and cinnamon buns and walking ever so slowly to our bed.  

Hovering over Paul, I chanted: "Night goes with silent steps..."
Hmmph... No answer. He was snoring. No Swedish genes were making him wake up to behold his Lucia Queen.

Well, after all that work, this Lucia Queen required an audience.
Creating my own liturgy, I ad libbed. "Wake up, Paul."
Still no answer.
I set the tray down, gave him a push and repeated: "Night goes with silent steps... Damn it, wake up."
He snorted, turned and faced me. It took him a while to focus.
Okay, finally, I, the Lucia Queen, was getting the respect I deserved.

I went back to chanting, my voice building to an impressive boom.
"Night goes with silent steps round house and cottage.
O'er earth that sun forgot, Dark shadows linger.      
Then on our threshold stands white clad in candlelight,
Santa Lucia, Santa Lucia."

He looked. He blinked. He screamed.
He said something that no one should ever say to a Lucia Queen.

I blamed the cinnamon. Maybe the Swedish mojo just doesn't work with cinnamon.
Look, if my Ma can blame religion, I can blame spices.

Cookies: Fruitcake Shortbread, Shortbread, Chocolate Chip and Toffee Shortbread, Chocolate Chip, Thumbprint, Italian Almond Paste, Raisin Oatmeal, Toffee Doodle, White Chocolate Cranberry / Oh, Christmas Tree! by Margaret Ullrich

Fruitcake Shortbread

Years ago Paul and I would go and chop down a tree as part of our our Christmas celebration.

It didn’t matter how cold it got.
And in Manitoba it can get REALLY cold.
We’re talking -40, which is the same in both Celsius and Fahrenheit.
December in Manitoba is the great equalizer.


Okay… we’re not in our 20s, 30s or 40s anymore.
Neither are our friends.
We bought a fake tree around the time we celebrated our half century birthdays.
Who needs a ‘Silver Alert’ sent out for idiot seniors who got lost in the woods while looking for a tree?
Who would search for idiot seniors lost in the woods looking for a tree?

Well, we’re Winnipeggers, so we had to come up with something else to keep ourselves super busy during the holidays.
We now do Christmas Cookie Exchanges.

We stay nice and toasty warm by our ovens and work like slaves for the holidays.
Hell, by the third batch we’re sweating like pigs.
We bake a ton of cookies, trade them, then have a new ton of cookies.
Ho… Ho… Ho…! Happy Holidays!!

Hints:

About the Fruitcake Shortbread Cookies…
It is important that your butter is soft and not cold.
If the dough is dry, you can add some milk, a teaspoon at a time, to bring it together.
Don't add too much milk. The dough will come together if your butter is soft.

Longer baking will create a crisper cookie; shorter time makes a soft, buttery cookie


About the Shortbread Cookies…
Store in an airtight container at room temperature for 7 days.
They will stay in the fridge for 10 days. You can also freeze shortbread cookies.


About the Chocolate Chip and Toffee Shortbread Cookies…
Store in an airtight container at room temperature for up to 3 days.
These make perfect ice cream sandwich cookies.


About the Chocolate Chip Cookies…
Softened butter and warm eggs help create a smooth batter.
For thicker, chewier cookies, refrigerate dough for 30 minutes before baking.
Take cookies out while their centres are still slightly underdone.

Add 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon or nutmeg for warm, aromatic notes.
Stir in peanut butter, chopped walnuts, pecans, or macadamia nuts for extra crunch.


About the Thumbprint Cookies…
Use a variety of jams and jellies - raspberry or strawberry, apricot, grape - for colour.
If your jam is thick, microwave it for 10 seconds.


About the Italian Almond Paste Cookies …
Almond paste is less sweet, and is typically used to make marzipan, as a baking ingredient and as a filling in a variety of pastries.
Marzipan is made from almond flour, sugar, and sometimes egg whites and syrup. It is used to make candy or cake decorations. You may be able to adjust the recipe to use less sugar and use marzipan in place of almond paste.

Store the cookies in a tin that is lined with parchment.


About the Toffee Doodle Cookies…
Starbuck’s Toffeedoodle Cookies, a variation of cinnamon sugar snickerdoodle cookies, is the inspiration for this recipe.
Add an extra caramel flavour to the cookies by browning the butter first.

Store cooled cookies in an airtight container at room temperature for up to 5 days. You can freeze them for up to 3 months. Thaw at room temperature for a couple hours until soft.


About the White Chocolate Cranberry Bars…
These bars were inspired by Starbuck’s Cranberry Bliss Bars.

If you don’t have orange zest add 1 teaspoon orange extract to the cookie and 1/4 teaspoon to the frosting.
Powdered sugar is also known as 10x sugar. Confectioner's sugar has a starch, like cornstarch, added to prevent clumping.

Store bars in an airtight container in the fridge for up to 5 days, or flash freeze them, then stack with parchment paper between, then freeze for up to 3 months. Thaw in the fridge overnight, or for a few hours, before serving.


                                                    Fruitcake Shortbread Cookies

Line 2 cookie sheets with parchment paper.

Place in a large mixer bowl
1 Cup unsalted butter, at room temperature
1/2 Cup sugar
Cream together until light and fluffy, scraping down the sides of the bowl.
Add
1 teaspoon rum extract (or vanilla or almond extract)
Beat in.
With the mixer on low, add 1/4 Cup at a time
2 Cups flour
Scraping down the sides of the bowl, beat until the dough comes together.
Add
1 Cup finely diced fruitcake mixed fruit
Stir until the fruit is blended in.

Turn the dough out onto plastic wrap and form it into a log, about 9 or 10 inches long.
Wrap it in the plastic and smooth it into a smooth tube, twisting the ends tightly to secure.
Chill for at least 2 hours, or overnight.

Have on hand
Coarse sugar (optional)

Preheat oven to 350° F

Slice the tube of dough into 1/3 inch slices.
Roll edges in course sugar, then place slices on the cookie sheet, 2 inches apart.
Bake for 10 minutes. They may seem soft, but they will firm up as they cool.
Let them cool on pan for a few minutes.
While they are warm, sprinkle the cookies with coarse sugar, if using.
Transfer to cooling rack to cool completely.


                                                    Shortbread Cookies

Line 2 cookie sheets with parchment paper.

Sift together into a medium bowl
1/2 Cup cornstarch
1/2 Cup confectioners’ sugar
Add
1 Cup flour
Whisk in until well combined.
Add
3/4 Cup salted butter at room temperature
Using forks, mix in butter to form a soft dough.
Using a 1 tablespoon scoop, measure out dough, roll between hands to create smooth, round balls. Place on prepared baking sheet at least 2 inches apart.

Preheat oven to 325 °F

Using the tines of a fork, gently press the cookies.
Add sprinkles to the tops of each cookie. (optional)

Bake for 15 to 18 minutes, or until the edges are starting to brown.
Remove from oven and allow to cook on the sheet for 5 minutes then transfer to a wire rack to cook completely.


                                                    Chocolate Chip and Toffee Shortbread Cookies

Line 2 cookie sheets with parchment paper.

Place in a large mixer bowl
1 Cup salted butter, softened
1/2 Cup confectioners' sugar
Cream until light and fluffy.
Beat in
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
With the mixer on low, add 1/4 Cup at a time
2 Cups flour
Mix just until a soft dough forms.
Fold in
1 Cup mini chocolate morsels
1/2 Cup toffee pieces

Using a 1 tablespoon scoop, measure out dough, roll between hands to create smooth, round balls. Place on prepared baking sheet at least 2 inches apart.
Lightly flatten each ball. Chill for 5 to 10 minutes if your kitchen is warm.

Preheat oven to 350° F 

Bake for 12 to 14 minutes, until firm and lightly golden around the edges.
Cool on the baking sheet for 5 minutes, then transfer to a wire rack to cook completely.


                                                    Chocolate Chip Cookies

Line 2 cookie sheets with parchment paper.

Place in a medium bowl
2 1/4 Cups flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
Stir together, then set aside.

Place in a large mixer bowl
1 Cup unsalted butter, softened
3/4 Cup sugar
3/4 Cup brown sugar
Cream until light and fluffy.
Beat in one at a time
2 large eggs
Blend in
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
With the mixer on low, add 1/4 Cup at a time, the dry ingredients.
Stir gently until just combined. Do not over mix.
Fold in, making sure they’re evenly distributed throughout the dough
2 Cups chocolate chips (semi-sweet, milk or dark chocolate or a mixture)

Using a 1 tablespoon scoop, measure out dough, roll between hands to create smooth, round balls. Place on prepared baking sheet at least 2 inches apart.

Preheat oven to 375° F 

Bake for 9 to 11 minutes, or until the edges are golden brown but the centres are soft.
Remove from oven.
Let cookies cool on the baking sheet for 5 minutes before transferring to a wire rack.
Makes 24 Cookies


                                                    Thumbprint Cookies

Line 2 cookie sheets with parchment paper.

Place in a large mixer bowl
1 1/2 Cup brown sugar
1/2 Cup margarine
Cream together.
Add
1 large egg
Beat together.
Add
1/2 Cup boiling water
1 teaspoon baking soda
                                                               Stir together.
Add
1 Tablespoon vanilla
Stir together.
With the mixer on low, add 1/4 Cup at a time
2 Cups flour
Place on floured surface, then knead, adding gradually
1 to 1 1/4 Cups flour

Using a 1 tablespoon scoop, measure out dough, roll between hands to create smooth, round balls. Place on prepared baking sheet at least 2 inches apart.
Make an indent with your thumb in the centre of each cookie. Fill the thumb print with jam or jelly.

Preheat oven to 350° F

Bake for 8 to 10 minutes. Remove from oven.
Let cookies cool on the baking sheet for 5 minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cook completely.


                                                    Italian Almond Paste Cookies

Line 2 cookie sheets with parchment paper.

Have on hand
1/2 Cup sliced almonds

Break into small pieces and place in a large bowl
1 (8 oz) tube almond paste (not marzipan)
Add
3/4 Cup sugar
1/4 Cup powdered sugar
Mix until crumbly.

Place in a small bowl
2 large egg whites
1/4 teaspoon almond extract
1/4 teaspoon salt
Beat until frothy.
Add the wet mixture to the dry and stir until a sticky dough forms.
Using a 1 tablespoon scoop, measure out dough, roll between hands to create smooth, round balls. Place on prepared baking sheet, gently flatten, and press a few almond slices on top.

Preheat oven to 325° F

Bake for 18 to 20 minutes, until edges are lightly golden and tops are just set.
Cool completely, then dust generously with powdered sugar.
Makes 20 cookies


                                                    Raisin Oatmeal Cookies

Lightly grease 2 baking sheets.

Place in medium bowl
1 1/2 Cups flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon cloves
Stir to combine.

Place in large mixer bowl
3/4 Cup margarine
1 1/2 Cups brown sugar, packed
Beat to combine then beat in
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
Gradually add
flour mixture
1 3/4 Cups old-fashioned oats
2 Cups Thompson raisins
Stir well to combine.

Preheat oven to 375º F

Drop spoonfuls of dough about 2 inches apart.
Bake 8 to 9 minutes, then cool on wire rack.
Makes 3 dozen cookies


                                                    Toffee Doodle Cookies

Line 2 cookie sheets with parchment paper.

Sift together into medium bowl
3 Cups flour
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon cream of tartar
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt

Combine in an 8 inch square pan
1/4 Cup sugar
2 teaspoons cinnamon

Place in a large mixer bowl
3/4 Cup unsalted butter
1 1/2 Cups sugar
Cream together until light and fluffy.
Add
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Mix until combined.
With the mixer on low, add 1/4 Cup at a time the flour mixture.
Stir in
1 Cup toffee bits

Using a 1 tablespoon scoop, measure out dough, roll between hands to create smooth, round balls.
Roll the balls in the cinnamon sugar to coat, then place on baking sheet at least 2 inches apart.
Lightly flatten each ball. Chill for 5 to 10 minutes if your kitchen is warm.

Preheat oven to 375° F

Bake the cookies until the edges look golden brown.
Remove from oven and leave the cookies on the pan for about 5 minutes.
Transfer the cookies to a wire rack to cool completely.
Makes 25 to 30 cookies

                                                    White Chocolate Cranberry Bars

Line a 9×13 pan with parchment paper letting some hang outside of pan.
Lightly grease with nonstick spray.

For the Bars:
Place in a medium bowl
2 cups all purpose flour
1 Tablespoon cornstarch
1 teaspoon orange zest
3/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
Stir together, then set aside.

Place in a large mixer bowl
1 1/2 cups brown sugar
1 Cup unsalted butter, softened
Cream until light and fluffy.
Beat in, one at a time
2 large eggs
Blend in
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
With the mixer on low, add 1/4 Cup at a time, the dry ingredients.
Stir gently until you have a soft cookie dough.
Fold in, making sure they’re evenly distributed throughout the dough
1 Cup dried cranberries
1/2 Cup white chocolate baking chips
Turn the batter into the prepared pan, press dough to the edges, and smooth top.

Preheat oven to 350° F  

Bake for 15 to 22 minutes, until the top is golden.
Remove pan from oven, place on a wire rack and let cool completely.
Using the parchment paper, lift the cookie out of the pan and place on cutting board.

For the Frosting:
Place in a medium mixer bowl
8 oz block cream cheese, softened
1/4 Cup unsalted butter, softened
Cream together until smooth.
Add
1 1/2 Cups powdered sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
Mix until the frosting is fluffy.
Spread the frosting evenly over the top of the cooled cookie base.

For Topping the Bars:
Sprinkle over the top of the base
1/2 Cup dried cranberries
1 teaspoon orange zest

Place in a small microwave safe bowl
1/2 Cup white chocolate chips
1/2 teaspoon coconut or vegetable oil (optional)
Microwave in 10 second increments, stirring after each, until you can stir it smooth. Pour into a ziplock bag and snip off a corner.
Drizzle over the top of the base. 
Let the base sit until the frosting is set.
Slice the base in strips, then in squares, and then cut each diagonally to make triangles.

                                                    ~~~

For another broadcast of our CKUW radio program ‘2000 & Counting’ we planned to reminisce about when we had gone out into the woods to chop down a Christmas tree.
Yes, this was, and is, a popular Winnipeg Christmas tradition.
And, yes, in Manitoba it can get cold enough to make trees brittle!

God, it was cold.

I didn't know it could get that cold.
I didn't know I'd ever be stupid enough to be outdoors in that kind of cold.
I didn't know I'd been stupid enough to marry someone stupid enough to work with people stupid enough to be out in that kind of cold.

It was December in Winnipeg.

Paul and I had grown up in New York City. There people went to an empty parking lot where the trees had magically appeared, like the pre-wrapped ground beef at the local supermarket. No questions asked. No one wanted to get too personal with an ornament that would be out with the trash in a matter of weeks.

At the New York parking lot we'd browse, find a tree we liked and switch the price tag with the cheaper tree which no one liked. Then we'd carry the tree to the clerk, who gave us the fish eye as he noticed the fullness of such a "good find", sighed and took our money. The whole deal was done in ten minutes. Another Christmas had begun.

Apparently, that isn't good enough for Winnipeggers.
Oh, no, they have to get down and dirty with their holiday bushes.


I'll never forget how happy Paul was when he came home and told me we'd been invited to join his co-workers, a group of Winnipeggers, for a real, old-fashioned Christmas experience. If I'd had a clue I'd have realized that giving birth in a barn, unaided, would've been an easier old-fashioned Christmas experience.
We were going to chop down a real Christmas tree, just like our ancestors.

Well, my parents are from Malta, a sunny Mediterranean island. It just wasn't in my genes to know how to dress for a freezing, miserable, forced march through a blizzard-hit forest. The windchill - which I still didn't understand - was in the "exposed skin can freeze in 2 minutes" range.

That didn't sound good, so I said, "Thanks, but no thanks."


Somehow Paul convinced me that his entire future career prospects, our unborn children's college fund, our grandchildren's lives and our golden years' security and comfort would all go up in smoke if I didn't join in the mighty tree hunt.

His Jewish co-workers were going. Everybody, even that ditzy receptionist who always dressed like a showgirl wannabe with skirts up to there, was going.

So, we were going.


God, it was cold.

I thought I had dressed warmly.
That fink, the ditzy receptionist, showed up looking like the Michelin Man. She was ready to march to the North Pole for the perfect tree, if necessary. So were the three other women co-workers. The other wives - who all knew better - had begged off. One was even pregnant. Or so she said.

I was alone with four career women who were full of the 1970s "I am woman, hear me roar" career fever. While they talked shop I felt as welcome as a lump of coal in a kid’s Christmas stocking.

The Jewish co-workers - who I had hoped would keep the tree hunt frenzy within limits - had turned into lumberjacks. They were also ready to march to the North Pole for the perfect tree, if necessary.

After walking five minutes I couldn't feel my toes. We hadn't even gotten out of the parking lot. I was doomed.

I didn't know it could get that cold.
We marched. Finally, someone approved of a tree. The men chopped. The tree crashed. The branches that hit the ground broke off the tree.

I said, "The bare side could be placed against a wall."

The heat from their glares should have restored my circulation. It didn't. We marched. Someone approved of another tree. The men chopped. The tree crashed. It broke.


God, it was cold.

We were doomed to spend all day wandering like Flying Dutchmen on a quest to find the perfect unbreakable tree. The lot was littered with other broken felled trees. Some trees had landed across their comrades in a criss-cross pattern that looked like a cradle.
A cradle, something soft, something to receive and hold...

Hold it… something to catch a damn tree!

Dripping snot and tears had frozen my mouth shut. If I'd had the equipment I would've written my idea in the snow. I slapped my face trying to restore circulation to my lower jaw. Finally my lips parted. I clutched Paul's arm.

"Cradle... tree... cradle," I mumbled and criss-crossed my arms.

The women thought I was pregnant and wanted a homemade cradle. Thank God, months of marriage, misery and love had united Paul's mind to mine. Months of marriage had also taught us that Paul was no carpenter. He knew the homemade cradle idea was bunk. Paul caught on to my pantomime and told the others of my plan.

Someone approved of another tree. It could land on four broken trees. The men chopped. The tree landed on its fallen comrades. It survived.
We marched. Someone approved of another tree. It, too, survived.

Christmas was saved.


God, it was cold.

I didn't know it could get that cold.
I couldn't believe it.
Some fool was planning the next year's tree chopping expedition.

Easy Homemade No-knead Bread and French Bread / A Christmas Bargain! by Margaret Ullrich

 

My last post had bread pudding recipes and they reminded me about the recent warnings concerning ultraprocessed foods.

Most regular packaged breads are considered to be ultraprocessed foods since they are usually made with added emulsifiers and gluten to extend their shelf life.


Don’t panic.
There are other foods that are worse than bread.
But, if you’d like to go back to basic bread - the kind that actually goes stale and hard after a few days - it can be done.
There is a very popular recipe that has been around for a few years.
It’s easy and will give your budget a boost.

Jim Lahey of Sullivan Street Bakery in New York City has become famous for his no-knead artisan bread recipe.
Lahey's bread is made from flour, yeast, salt, and water.
That’s it.
It was one of the THE breads to make when everyone was baking during Covid.


Hints:

About the Jim Lahey’s No-Knead Bread…
Instant or ‘rapid rise’ yeast is yeast that has been crushed into finer granules that enable it to dissolve more quickly.
Since it doesn’t need to be dissolved in warm water, you don’t have to proof it.
If you cannot find instant yeast, substitute active dry yeast proof and continue.

If the room is cool the dough will rise more slowly. As long as 24 hours may be necessary.
The cornmeal helps to prevent the dough from sticking and adds a little texture to the bread. You can use wheat bran or more flour instead of the cornmeal.

The bread must cool on a rack for at least an hour to allow the crust to set and the interior to finish baking.
Leftovers can be stored in a plastic bag at room temperature for up to 3 days.


About the Scored No-Knead Bread with Variations…
Bread flour will give a chewier texture, while whole wheat flour will give a nuttier flavour. You may need to adjust the water slightly.
Before the first rise you can fold in herbs, garlic, olives, or seeds for variety.

Store in a paper bag or wrapped in a clean kitchen towel to maintain its crust.
Plastic bags can make the crust soft.

Serve with soups or stews or for sandwiches.
Or garnish with a drizzle of olive oil and balsamic vinegar for a simple appetizer.


About the Quicker No Knead Bread…
Shaping the dough into a round loaf on a piece of parchment paper makes it easier to load and unload the bread from the oven. Shape the loaf into a tight round to get a higher rise.


About the No Knead Artisan French Bread…
This loaf can also be baked uncovered on a preheated baking sheet. To have enough moisture while baking, place a metal baking pan with boiling water in a corner of the oven to produce a chewy crust outside with big holes and a soft texture inside.

                                                       Jim Lahey’s No-Knead Bread

Place in a large bowl
3 Cups bread flour or all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon instant yeast
1 1/4 teaspoons salt
Stir together.
Add
1 1/3 Cups lukewarm water
Mix with a spoon until you have a shaggy, sticky dough. This should take 30 seconds.
Cover the bowl set it aside to rest, about 72° F room temperature, for at least 12 hours; 18 hours is better. 

Generously flour your work surface and lightly flour your hands.
Use a rubber spatula to turn the dough onto the surface.
Gently and quickly lift the edges of the dough in toward the centre, folding the dough over onto itself. Nudge and tuck in the edges of the dough to make it round. 

Generously coat a cotton towel with cornmeal, wheat bran or flour.
Place the dough, seam side down, on the towel and dust the surface with a little more cornmeal, wheat bran or flour.
Cover the dough with another cotton towel and let it rise for about 2 hours.
The dough will be double in size and will hold the impression of your fingertip when you poke it lightly.
If the dough readily springs back, let it rise for another 15 minutes.


A half hour before the dough is done with its second rise, place the oven rack to the lower third position.
Preheat the oven to 450° F
Place a 6- to 8-quart heavy pot and its lid (whether cast iron, enamel, Pyrex or ceramic) in the oven.


When the dough is done with its second rise, carefully take the pot from the oven and remove the lid. 
Uncover the dough, lift it up and quickly but gently turn it over into the pot, seam side up, being very careful not to touch the pot.
Cover pot with its lid and bake for 30 minutes.
Remove the lid and bake 15 to 30 minutes more, until the loaf is beautifully browned.

Using heatproof spatula or pot holders, lift bread out of the pot and place it on a rack.
Don’t slice it until it has cooled at least 60 minutes.


                                                       No-Knead Bread with Variations

Place in a large bowl
1 1/4 Cups lukewarm water, about 70° F
1/4 teaspoon active dry yeast
Gently stir together with wooden spoon, then add
2 Cups flour
Mix with a wooden spoon until just combined. 
Add
1 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1 Cup flour
Stir together until all flour is combined and it forms a shaggy ball of dough.
Cover bowl with plastic wrap and let stand at room temperature for 18 to 24 hours.

Sprinkle onto bottom of an oven-safe pot or Dutch oven
3 Tablespoons cornmeal

Lightly flour a work surface and place dough on it.
Carefully scrape dough out of bowl onto work surface.
Grab edges of dough, pull them up, fold into centre, then push them down.
The dough should form a ball with a little seam on top.
Set ball seam side down into prepared pot and cover.

Allow dough to rise while oven preheats to 450º F

When oven is hot, brush top of dough with
1 Tablespoon olive oil
Score the dough a few times with a sharp knife.
Sprinkle top with
Flaky sea salt or kosher salt
   
Cover pot and bake 35 minutes.
Remove lid and bake 25 minutes, until golden brown.
Remove loaf from pot and let cool on a wire rack for at least 30 minutes (1 to 2 hours is better) before slicing.


                                                       Easy No-Knead Bread

Place in a large bowl
3 1/4 Cups flour
2 teaspoons kosher salt
3/4 teaspoon instant yeast
Stir to combine, then make a well in the centre.
Add
1 1/2 Cups warm water
Using a wooden spoon, stir until a wet, sticky dough forms, about 1 to 2 minutes.
Cover bowl tightly with plastic wrap and let stand in a warm place until doubled in size and surface is dotted with bubbles, about 6 to 8 hours.

Lightly flour a work surface and place dough on it.
Fold dough over itself 3 to 4 times, turning after each fold.
Gently shape dough into a round.
Cover the dough with a dishtowel and allow it to rest at room temperature until it has doubled in size, about 1 hour.

About 15 minutes after covering the dough, preheat the oven to 450° F
Place a 4-qt Dutch oven, covered, in the oven for 30 minutes.
Remove pot from the oven, remove lid, and place dough into the Dutch oven.
Using a sharp knife, make a few shallow cuts on the top.
Cover and place in the oven and bake 30 minutes.
Remove cover and continue baking about 15 minutes until golden brown.
Let cool 60 minutes on a wire rack.


                                                       Quicker No-Knead Bread

Place in a large bowl
3 Cups flour
2 teaspoons salt
3/4 teaspoon active dry yeast
Stir to combine and make a well in the centre.
Add
1 1/2 Cups lukewarm water
Stir until it forms a shaggy dough.
Cover the bowl with a kitchen towel.
Set in a warm place to rise until doubled in size and bubbly, 6 to 8 hours. 

Lightly flour a piece of parchment paper.
Turn the dough out onto it, folding it over on itself at least once.
Quickly shape the dough into a round ball.
Cover with a kitchen towel and let rise for 1 hour or more, until doubled in size. 

About 15 minutes after covering the dough, preheat the oven to 450° F
Place a 4-qt Dutch oven, covered, in the oven for 30 minutes.

Remove pot from the oven and remove lid.
Using the parchment paper, carefully transfer the loaf, still on the paper, to the Dutch oven.
Make a slash on the top of the dough with a sharp knife so that the bread can expand while baking. 
Place the lid on the pot and put it in the oven.
Bake covered for 30 minutes.
Remove the lid and bake for 15 minutes more.
Remove pot from the oven and transfer the bread to a wire rack.
Let cool at least 15 minutes before slicing the bread.


                                                       No-Knead French Bread

Place in a large bowl
2 1/4 teaspoons yeast granulated yeast
2 1/2 Cup lukewarm water
Add
3 1/2 Cups flour
1 Tablespoon salt
Cover and let sit for 8 to 24 hours.

Flour a work surface with
1 Cup flour
Scrape the dough out and toss gently in the flour for no more than 3 to 4 minutes, keeping any air bubbles that have formed.
Wrap dough in a very well floured towel and let sit for 1 to 2 hours.

About 30 minutes before baking, put a covered cast iron pot in the oven and heat at 450º F
After 30 minutes remove from the oven, dump the bread in, cover and bake for 30 minutes.
Remove the lid, lower the heat to 400º F, and bake for 20 minutes, until golden brown.
Cool on a rack at least 30 minutes.


                                                       No-Knead Bread Recipe from Yeast Packet

Place in a large bowl
1 1/2 Cups warm milk or water
2 Tablespoons sugar
2 1/4 teaspoon instant yeast
Let it sit for 5 to 10 minutes until foamy.
Add
3 1/2 Cups flour
1 1/4 teaspoon salt
3 Tablespoons oil
Stir until combined.
Cover and let rise for about 1 hour, or until doubled in size.
Shape as needed, for bread, pizza, cinnamon rolls, or dinner rolls, then place in greased pans.
Let dough rise for 30 minutes.

Pre-heat oven to 375º F

Bake 30 to 60 minutes until item is golden brown.

                                                                            ~~~~

Back in 2002 I wrote an essay for the CKUW radio show ‘2000 & Counting' about getting Christmas gifts.
Goodness, that was twenty-three years ago, and a month before Christmas.
It was a meant as a light piece, filled with hints.
Many of our listeners were seniors or college students, folks known for having to stretch their dollars.
Christmas shopping hasn’t changed all that much.  Darn!!

If you’re not finished with your shopping this is definitely crunch time!


Okay… listen up!  There are four weeks left until Christmas.  That means gifts.  I know, I know, it's more blessed to give than to receive.  But, unless you have ways of shopping that you'd like to keep secret, giving gifts means money.  

It's a little late to start a Christmas gift account at your bank and the utility companies really lose that Ho Ho Ho spirit if you try to skip paying their bills. 
 
If the charge cards are already maxed out - or you just want to keep your nearest and dearest on a cash and carry basis - gift getting is going to take a little effort.  

Desperate times call for desperate measures.  As we're all stuck with holidays - oh, lucky us - I'll tell you some of my desperate measures.

    
Live off your hump.  You know what I mean.  Things like the 18 cans of tuna you have left from the time you bought 20 cans so you could get 50 bonus airmiles.  Now's the time to crack those babies open.  I know the family hates tuna.  That's why there are 18 little cans of fishies swimming around your pantry.  Well, the family would hate a Giftless Christmas even more.  Think about it.  Lousy dinners happen to everybody.  But the family Grinch who comes up giftless at Christmas gets blabbed about throughout the neighbourhood and the generations.  You don't want to be remembered by your great great grandchildren as Granny Grinchie.

Try creative cooking.  Pretend you're on the TV show Iron Chef.  You've just been given a tube of ground beef, a bag of marshmallows, a jar of salsa, a bottle of raspberry vinegar, a carton of frozen spinach, a jar of maraschino cherries and a box of rice-a-roni.  Think only a nut throws odd things together?  How do you think raspberry vinegar was invented?  If the family gets snarky, tell them you found the recipe in a magazine - Drop names.  Martha is always good - and if they can't appreciate all the effort you put into making dinner interesting… Well!  You know the speech.  Remember, guilt, when the other person has it, is a good thing.

Go ethnic.  Granny's recipes don't have to be saved for Folklorama.  God bless ancestors.  Go to an ethnic restaurant and get a load of the prices they charge for a plate of pasta fagioli (that's noodles and beans).  Grandma would die laughing if she saw those prices.  Starch and beans got millions of people through tough times.  Go thou and eat likewise.
  
Beans aren't good enough?  Go past the recognizable cuts and shop the mystery meats.  Put enough spices on them and the family won't know what hit them.  I once made spaghetti and meatballs using animal organs only a mother could love.  Guess what?  Hubby had invited a friend.  Well, the buddy was getting a free meal, so I followed the Cook’s Golden Rule: Don't apologize and don't explain.  The buddy said it was delicious, like the meatballs they serve at the Bay.  Hmmm…  I notice the Bay is still in business.  There's more than one way to skin a cat.   
  
Shop your house.  No kidding.  Grab a bag and stroll through your house.  Look for things somebody foisted… uh… gave to you.  Well, why should you be stuck with it until you're six feet under?  Unless it was made by your preschooler - don't even think it, they DO remember - you're free to pass it on to someone else.  Just don't give it to the person who gave it to you.
   
Pack your own.  Ever notice the little overpriced goodies the stores stuff into baskets and bowls?  One current gift item is a box of pasta, a tin of sauce, some cheese and some wooden spoons nestled within a large bowl.  Are you too stupid to do the same thing?  I didn’t think so.  It's one way to get rid of some of those extra airmiles purchases.  Let somebody else eat the tuna.  


Still thinking about the folks in the flyers looking wildly happy over a toaster? 
Toss the flyers.  Those models were paid big bucks.  Stores want you to buy.  A stress free family holiday is not their goal.  If they had their way you'd replace everything and pay 50% interest.
     
Remember how the best presents were things that showed that someone cared?  Maybe somebody hunted down an out-of-print book by your favorite author. 
The gadgets that looked amazing seem strange on December 26.  
     

While you're shopping, get yourself some treats. 
I have a friend who picks up a bag of pfeffernusse cookies every year.  When she feels like all she's doing is giving, giving, giving, she pops a pfeffernusse and gives herself an old time Christmas.  It doesn't take much.     

God bless us, everyone.