Okay… we’re dashing down the icy Christmas highway.
It’s all going to hit the fan in seven days.
Unless you’ve managed to find something as life changing and important as the Red Ryder Carbine Action 200-shot Range Model air rifle from Jean Shepherd’s A Christmas Story, everyone’s main focus is going to be on what you are going to feed them.
Think about about all the most important Christmas movie scenes:
The Cratchit’s family dinner - the one with Tim’s big ‘God bless us, everyone’ scene - in each and every version of A Christmas Carol
The lime jello with cat food that accompanied the Griswold’s overcooked turkey that exploded in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Nora racing to get the last can of Mel's Hickory Honey Ham in Christmas with the Kranks
The reaction the whole neighbourhood had when Nora confessed that she couldn’t get the ham and they would have to feast on smoked trout
No doubt about it.
Your meal will have an audience who will be taking note and recording every little detail of your dinner, from soup to nuts.
Most likely they’ll also be posting pictures on Facebook.
No pressure.
Come to think of it, food played an important part in A Christmas Story.
Remember when, after the excitement from unwrapping the gifts was over, the Bumpus’s hound dogs broke into the Parkers’ home and devoured their turkey?
Destroying their chance of having turkey leftovers in all its tradition forms.
The last memory Ralphie had of that Christmas was the Chinese turkey they were introduced to in the Chinese restaurant.
THE. LAST. MEMORY.
Yes, food is THAT important.
If you haven’t baked a fruitcake, all’s not lost.
These breads don’t need to age.
They can serve as a brunch or as a dessert.
Well, it’s a start.
Hints:
If you do not have buttermilk add a tablespoon of lemon juice or vinegar to one cup milk and let sit five minutes. Stir and use.
About the Cinnamon Donut Bread…
For seasonal twists use pumpkin pie spice or cardamom instead of cinnamon.
This loaf is ideal for breakfast, snacks, or an after dinner dessert.
Wrapped, this loaf stays moist for up to three days. it can also be frozen for up to 2 months. Thaw at room temperature.
About the Starbucks Lemon Loaf (Copycat)…
For a brighter flavour use more lemon zest and a touch less extract.
Don’t overmix when you add the dry ingredients. Small lumps are okay.
Avoid overbaking for the moistest texture.
Store in airtight container to store at room temperature for up to 5 days.
Wrap cooled loaf tightly and freeze for up to 3 months. Thaw overnight in fridge before serving.
About the Lemon Cottage Loaf…
Two lemons will be enough for both the juice and zest needed.
Start with one tablespoon juice, cream and sugar for the icing. Add more sugar if the icing is too thin, because you want the icing thick, but still pourable.
Add 1/2 teaspoon more of liquid if it’s too thick.
When the bread is completely cooled, and the icing is hardened store in an airtight container. You can store it at room temperature for 4 to 5 days.
Don’t store the lemon loaf cake in the fridge or it will dry it out quicker.
This lemon loaf can also be frozen for up to 6 months. Thaw at room temperature.
Cinnamon Donut Bread
Preheat oven to 350° F
Grease a 9x5-inch loaf pan or line with parchment paper.
For the Cinnamon Sugar Topping:
1/2 Cup granulated sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon
Stir together.
For the Donut Bread:
Place in a medium bowl
2 large eggs
1 Cup buttermilk
1/2 Cup unsalted butter, melted
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
Stir together.
Place in a large bowl
2 Cups flour
3/4 Cup sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
Stir together.
Pour the wet mixture into the dry ingredients.
Stir gently until just combined.
Pour the batter into the prepared loaf pan.
Bake for 45 to 50 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the centre comes out clean.
Let the bread cool in the pan for 10 minutes before transferring it to a wire rack.
Brush the top with
1/4 Cup unsalted butter, melted
Sprinkle over the top the cinnamon sugar topping.
Slice and serve warm or at room temperature with butter or honey.
Cinnamon Swirl Donut Bread
Preheat oven to 350° F
Grease an 8x4-inch loaf pan.
For the Cinnamon Sugar Topping:
Place in a large plate.
1/4 Cup sugar
1/4 Cup light brown sugar, packed
1 teaspoon cinnamon
Stir together and set aside.
For the Donut Bread:
Place in a small bowl
1 1/2 Cups flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
Stir together.
Place in a large mixer bowl
1/2 Cup butter, softened
1 Cup sugar
Beat together until light and fluffy, about 1 minute.
Add
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 Cup sour cream or Greek yogurt
Mix until smooth.
Add half of the flour mixture to the bowl. Stir just to blend.
Then add
1/4 Cup milk
Blend together, then add
Add the remaining flour mixture. Stir just to blend.
Then add
1/4 Cup milk
Stir just to blend.
Remove 1 Cup of the batter and place in a small bowl.
Stir in
1 Tablespoon molasses
2 teaspoons cinnamon
Pour half of the original batter into the prepared loaf pan.
Cover with the cinnamon / molasses batter.
Pour the remaining original batter on top.
Using a butter knife, swirl the layers together a bit.
Bake for 50 to 60 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the centre comes out clean.
Remove pan from oven, place on a wire rack and allow to cool for 10 minutes.
Run a knife around the edge, remove the bread from the pan, and transfer bread to a wire rack to finish cooling completely.
Make sure the loaf is cooled completely before adding topping. Otherwise, it will be too soft and could break when you try to lift and dip it.
Brush the top and sides of the loaf with
1/4 Cup unsalted butter, melted
Dip the top and sides of the loaf into the sugar mixture.
Slice and serve warm or at room temperature.
Lemon Blueberry Loaf
Preheat oven to 350° F
Grease and flour a 9x5-inch loaf pan.
Place in a small bowl
1 Cup fresh or frozen blueberries
1 Tablespoon flour
Toss together and set aside.
Place in a medium bowl
1 2/3 Cups flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
Stir together.
Place in a measuring cup
1/2 Cup milk
1 Tablespoon lemon juice
1 teaspoon lemon extract
Stir together.
Place in a large mixer bowl
1/2 Cup butter, softened
1 Cup sugar
Cream until fluffy.
Add, one at a time,
2 large eggs
Beat well after each addition.
Add alternately, making 3 dry and 2 liquid additions
the flour mixture
the milk mixture
Fold in
the floured blueberries
Pour batter into prepared pan.
Bake for 50 to 60 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the centre comes out clean.
Cool in the pan for 10 minutes before removing to a wire rack.
Run a knife around the edge, remove the bread from the pan, and transfer bread to a wire rack to finish cooling.
For the Lemon Syrup:
Place in a small saucepan
2 to 3 Tablespoons lemon juice
1 Cup confectioner’s sugar
Stirring constantly, cook over low heat until it thickens slightly.
Pour over the cooled bread and allow to cool completely before cutting.
Starbucks Lemon Loaf (Copycat)
Preheat oven to 350° F
Spray a 9×5-inch loaf pan with cooking spray.
Set aside.
Place in a large mixer bowl
1 Cup sugar
3 large eggs
1 Cup sour cream
Beat until smooth.
While mixing on low speed, gradually add
1/2 Cup vegetable oil
Zest of 1 large lemon
2 Tablespoons lemon extract
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
Beat to combine.
Stir in
1 1/2 Cups flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
Stir until just combined.
Pour batter into the prepared loaf pan.
Bake for 40 to 45 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the centre comes out clean. If browning too much, tent with foil during the last 10 to 15 minutes.
Allow the loaf to cool completely in the pan.
Transfer bread to a wire rack to finish cooling completely before glazing.
For the Glaze:
Place in a medium bowl
1 Tablespoon lemon juice
1 Tablespoon milk
Stir together, then gradually add
1 Cup confectioner’s sugar (more if needed for consistency)
Beat until smooth.
Drizzle over cooled loaf.
Let set, then slice and serve.
Lemon Loaf (Starbucks Copycat)
Preheat oven to 350° F
With a pencil, trace the bottom of the pan on a piece of waxed paper and cut out with scissors. Line the bottom of a 9x5-inch loaf pan with a piece of waxed paper. Spray the pan and paper with non-stick baking spray.
Set aside.
Place in a medium bowl
1 1/2 Cups flour
1 (3.4 oz. package) instant lemon pudding mix
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
Stir to combine.
Place in a large mixer bowl
3 large eggs
1 Cup sugar
2 Tablespoons butter, softened
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 Tablespoon lemon extract
1/3 Cup lemon juice
1/2 Cup oil
3/4 Cup plain Greek yogurt
Blend until evenly combined.
Gradually add the dry ingredients, stopping to scrape down the sides of the bowl, until just combined.
Pour batter into the prepared pan.
Bake for 55 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the centre comes out clean.
Remove pan from oven, place on a wire rack and allow to cool for 10 minutes.
Run a knife around the edge, invert and remove bread from the pan, then remove the waxed paper from the bottom.
Transfer bread to a wire rack to finish cooling completely.
For the Frosting:
Place in a small mixer bowl
3 Tablespoons butter, softened
3 Tablespoons lemon juice
1 teaspoon lemon extract
Beat to combine.
Gradually add
1 1/2 Cups confectioner’s sugar
Beat until smooth and creamy.
Evenly spread the frosting over the top of the loaf.
Refrigerate to let frosting set completely before slicing.
Store any leftovers in an airtight container in the refrigerator.
Lemon Cottage Loaf
Preheat oven to 350° F
Grease an 8 inch square baking pan.
Place in a medium bowl
1 1/2 Cups flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
Stir to combine and set aside.
Place in a large mixer bowl
1/2 Cup butter, softened
Cream until smooth.
Add
1 Cup sugar
Mix for 2 to 3 minutes, until light and fluffy, scraping down the sides of the bowl as it mixes.
While mixing on low, add one at a time
3 large eggs
Add
2 Tablespoons lemon juice
1 Tablespoon lemon zest
1 teaspoon lemon extract (optional)
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
Stir until just combined.
Add in half the dry ingredients mixing until just combined.
Add
1/4 Cup buttermilk
Blend in, then slowly mix in the remaining flour mixture.
Add
1/4 Cup buttermilk
Blend in.
Spoon the batter into the prepared baking pan and smooth the top evenly with a spatula.
Bake for about 45 to 55 minutes until a toothpick can come out clean.
Remove from the oven and place on a wire rack.
Let cool in the pan for 1 hour, then carefully remove loaf to continue cooling on the wire rack.
When the loaf is completely cooled, prepare the icing.
For the Icing:
Place in a small mixer bowl
1 Tablespoon lemon juice
1 Tablespoon heavy cream
Stir to combine.
Gradually add
1 Cup confectioner’s sugar
Beat until smooth and creamy.
Add more powdered sugar if the glaze seems too thin.
Pour glaze over the loaf. Let the glaze set completely before slicing and serving.
Slice and serve.
~~~
I also wrote the following essay about Christmas traditions for our CKUW radio show ‘2000 & Counting’.
Over the years our listeners asked for some seasonal stories to be repeated.
They seemed to like being reminded that we were all in the same holiday boat, a communal ship which made us feel like we were all sinking fast.
Ah… Christmas shopping, holiday customs, holiday baking…
Why do we do it?
I don't know about you, but as far as I'm concerned, there are two questions no one should ever ask a woman.
The first is "How old are you?"The second is "Have you done your holiday baking yet?”
Why is it that, when the thermometer falls, we're supposed to bake? Does the Queen whip up a fruitcake before writing her speech?
I don't think so.
Holiday baking has been with us an awfully long time.
Did you know that ginger was popular in Greece over 5,000 years ago? The Egyptians were eating gingerbread when the great pyramid of Cheops was just a brick and a prayer. I wonder what their gingerbread men looked like.
A few years after Egypt's building boom, an English King and his hunting party got lost in a blizzard on Christmas Eve. Well, they were clever lads full of English pluck, so they threw everything they had - meat, flour, sugar, apples, ale and brandy - into a bag and cooked it. Wallah!! Plum pudding. The Iron Chef would've been proud.
On Christmas Day in 1666, Samuel Pepys wrote in his diary that he had risen earlier than his wife Who was desirous to sleep having sat up till four this morning seeing her maids make mince pies.
I really admire Mrs. P. She just sat and watched her maids do the work, yet her husband felt guilty about her workload. How did she get him to suffer like that?
Some Christmas carols seem a little too focused on food. For example:
Now bring us some figgy pudding and a cup of good cheer!
We won't go until we get some, so bring it out here.
Those were somebody's friends? Somebody should've called the cops.
Holiday baking has followed us into modern times. The 1970s was the decade of old time family television shows like The Waltons and memoir books.
Have you ever browsed through a memoir book? They reminded us of times like this...
Evenings when a cold blustery wind howled outside were perfect for sorting through recipes. They were cozy times. The children were sitting at the oak table helping Mama chop fruit and raisins. Papa was cracking and shelling nuts and crushing fresh spices in the grinder.
Isn't that sweet? Sentences like that convinced me that if we did things just like people did before television was invented, the world would be a kinder, gentler place.
We'll never know. Paul told me, in no uncertain terms, that he was too busy to grind nuts for a cake he didn't even want. Alright. Scratch Paul grinding his nuts. I bought ground nuts.
Step two... the batter had to be mixed. Back to that memoir...
When all the fruits were in, Grandmother called, 'Come, stir the batter!' We all took turns giving it a stir - clockwise for good luck - and made a wish.
I made a batter, threw in the fruits and called out, "Come, stir the batter!"
Carl pointed to the electric mixer sitting on the counter and said that he was staying on the eighth level of his computer game, The Temple of Ra. He also told me, in no uncertain terms, that he was too busy to stir batter for a cake he didn't even want.
I stirred the batter, clockwise.
Don't ask what I wished.It's been downhill ever since. Do you know about the charming Swedish custom of hiding a whole almond in a serving bowl of rice pudding? The lucky person who finds the almond has to get married or do the dishes. Either my husband or my son - the fink never confessed - managed to swallow the almond every time.
I tried the German version - whoever finds the almond receives a marzipan pig. By then Paul and Carl had their own tradition: swallowing the almond. I felt so guilty looking at that poor rejected pig. I started my own tradition and ate him... along with the cake.
There's a Christmas carol that goes
Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat...
Well, the goose isn't the only one.
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