Anna Sultana’s Cannoli Cookies, Christmas Ricotta Cookies, Italian Ricotta Cookies, Lemon Ricotta Cookies, Iced Lemon Ricotta Cookies, Orange Ricotta Cookies, Christmas Cookies / Muriel’s Family Christmas Dinner by Margaret Ullrich

Happy New Year!

Traditionally this is a time for family and friends to gather.
And some folks think it’s just dandy to drop in, uninvited and unexpected.
Well.. you were well brought up and you know what’s expected of you as a host.
You have to smile and they have to be fed.


Cookies are always handy to have on hand for these surprise guests.
Cookies are just a bit of food. Just enough, in keeping with the situation.
Like what should they have expected when they didn’t give you any warning?
A complete dinner, from soup to nuts?


Cookies are also fine after a dinner with invited family and friends.
A slice of cake, especially fruitcake, can seem a bit overwhelming after a big meal, but there’s always room for a cookie, or two.


Ricotta cookies fresh from the oven can also be used as shortcake.
In the summer, Ma didn’t ice the cookies, but topped them with sweetened mashed berries and a bit of whipped cream.
For the aunts and uncles she’d add a dash of booze to the fruit and serve them from a different tray.
Yeah, we grabbed a few.

Hints:
For a smooth texture, make sure your ricotta is well-drained in a cheesecloth lined strainer, for at least an hour, and at room temperature before using.


About the Cannoli Cookies…
Save a few chocolate chips and pistachios to press into the tops before baking.


About the Christmas Ricotta Cookies…
These cookies are light, incredibly moist, and stay soft for days.
Use vanilla instead of almond extract for a traditional flavour.
You can add lemon or orange zest to the dough or glaze for extra flavour.
To keep the cookies from spreading, chill the dough for an hour before baking.

Store cookies in an airtight container for 4 to 5 days.
Freeze frosted cookies in layers with parchment between layers up to 3 months.
Let them thaw at room temp before serving.

You can make the dough, chill it overnight, and bake the next day.
Or scoop the dough into balls and freeze them.
Bake straight from frozen with a minute or two added to the baking time.


About the Christmas Cookies…
You can use 1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla, or 1 teaspoon vanilla and 1/2 teaspoon almond extract.

               Cannoli Cookies

Preheat oven to 350° F
Line 3 baking sheets with parchment paper.

Place in a medium bowl
2 1/2 Cups flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
Whisk together.

Place in a large mixer bowl
1/2 Cup unsalted butter, softened
3/4 Cup sugar
Cream for 3 to 4 minutes, until light and fluffy.
Add, one at a time
2 large eggs, at room temperature
Add
1 Cup whole milk ricotta cheese
2 teaspoons vanilla
1 Tablespoon orange zest
Mix just until combined.
Mixing on low speed, gradually add the dry ingredients, mixing just until combined.
With a spatula gently fold in
3/4 Cup mini chocolate chips
1/2 Cup shelled pistachios, chopped
Scoop tablespoon-sized mounds onto the sheet, spacing 2 inches apart.
Bake 12 to 14 minutes, until the edges are lightly golden. Centres should look just underdone.
Cool 5 minutes on sheet, then transfer to a wire rack.

For the chocolate drizzle
Place in a small microwaveable bowl
1/2 Cup dark chocolate chips
Melt and stir until smooth.
Drizzle cookies with melted chocolate.

Dust with
confectioner’s sugar
Top with
chopped pistachios (optional)

About 30 cookies


                                                              Christmas Ricotta Cookies

Preheat oven to 350° F
Line 4 baking sheets with parchment paper.

Place in a medium bowl
4 Cups flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
Whisk together.

Place in a large mixer bowl
1 Cup butter, softened
2 Cups sugar
Cream until light and fluffy.
Add, one at a time
3 large eggs, at room temperature
Add
15 ounces ricotta cheese
2 teaspoons vanilla (or almond extract)
Mixing on low speed, gradually add the dry ingredients.
Scoop tablespoon-sized mounds onto the sheet, spacing 2 inches apart.
Bake 12 to 15 minutes until edges are golden.
Cool on wire racks.

For the frosting
Place in a medium mixer bowl
1/4 Cup butter, softened
3 to 4 Cups confectioners’ sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
3 to 4 Tablespoon 2% milk
Mix until spreadable.
Frost cooled cookies.
Decorate with Christmas sprinkles immediately and let the frosting set before storing.


                                                              Italian Ricotta Cookies

Preheat oven to 350° F
Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper.

Place in a medium bowl
2 Cups flour
1 Tablespoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
Whisk together.

Place in a large mixer bowl
1/2 Cup unsalted butter, softened
1 Cup sugar
Cream until light and fluffy.
Beat in
1 large egg, at room temperature
Add
8 ounces ricotta cheese
2 Tablespoons vanilla
1/2 teaspoon almond extract (optional)
Beat until the mixture is smooth and well combined.
Mixing on low speed, gradually add the dry ingredients until a soft dough forms.
Scoop tablespoon-sized mounds onto the sheet, spacing 2 inches apart.
Bake for 10 to 12 minutes, or until the edges are lightly golden.
Cool the cookies on the baking sheets for a few minutes before transferring them to a wire rack to cool completely.

For the frosting
Place in a small bowl
2 Cups confectioner’s sugar
3 Tablespoons whole milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Mix until smooth. Add more milk if needed.
Dip the cooled cookies in the frosting.
Decorate with Christmas sprinkles immediately and let the frosting set before storing.

About 24 cookies

               Lemon Ricotta Cookies

Preheat oven to 350° F
Line 4 baking sheets with parchment paper.

Place in a medium bowl
2 Cups flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking powder
Whisk together.

Place in a large mixer bowl
1/2 Cup unsalted butter, softened
1 Cup sugar
Cream until light and fluffy.
Add
1 large egg, at room temperature
3/4 Cup ricotta cheese
Zest of 1 lemon
2 Tablespoons lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
Beat until smooth and creamy.
Mixing on low speed, gradually add the dry ingredients, mixing just until combined.
Cover the bowl and chill dough in the fridge for 30 minutes.
Scoop and roll dough into golf ball-sized rounds, then roll each in
1/2 Cup confectioner’s sugar, sifted
Place on baking sheet 2 inches apart and bake 12 to 15 minutes, until tops begin to crack.
Let cool on the baking sheet for 2 minutes, then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.
Dust with confectioner’s sugar (optional)

About 42 cookies


                                                              Iced Lemon Ricotta Cookies

Preheat oven to 350° F
Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper.

Place in a medium bowl
4 Cups flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
Whisk together.

Place in a large mixer bowl
2 Cups sugar
8 ounces unsalted butter, room temperature
Cream until light and fluffy.
Add, one at a time
2 large eggs, at room temperature
Stir in
16 ounces full-fat ricotta cheese
1 1/2 Tablespoons vanilla
Beat until smooth and creamy.
Mixing on low speed, gradually add the dry ingredients just until combined.
Scoop tablespoon-sized mounds onto the sheet, spacing 2 inches apart. Gently smooth the tops with your fingers.
Bake for 10 to 12 minutes, or until just lightly golden at the edges.
Remove from oven and let cool completely on the sheets.

For the lemon glaze
Place in a small bowl
2 Cups confectioner’s sugar
Zest of 1 large lemon (about 1 1/2 Tablespoons)
Juice of 1 lemon
3 Tablespoons lemon juice or water
Mix until smooth. Add more liquid if needed.
Dip the tops of each cooled cookie and let the glaze set.

About 20 cookies

                 Orange Ricotta Cookies

Preheat oven to 350° F
Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper.

Place in a medium bowl
1 3/4 Cups flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
                                                               Whisk together.

Place in a large mixer bowl
1/2 Cup + 3 Tablespoons ricotta cheese, at room temperature
1/2 Cup + 1 Tablespoon sugar
2 Tablespoon unsalted butter, softened
Beat until smooth and creamy.
Add
1 large egg, at room temperature
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1 Tablespoon orange zest
Mix until combined.
Gradually add dry ingredients, mixing just until combined.
Cover and chill dough for at least 1 hour.

Scoop tablespoon-sized mounds onto the sheet, spacing 2 inches apart.
Bake for 12 to 14 minutes, or until bottoms are lightly golden.
Let cool on the sheets for 3 minutes, then transfer to a rack to cool completely.
Glaze or frost, then decorate with Christmas sprinkles immediately.
Let topping set before storing.

For the orange glaze
Place in a small bowl
1 Cup confectioner’s sugar
1 1/2 to 3 teaspoons heavy cream or whole milk
1 1/2 to 3 teaspoons orange juice
Mix until smooth. Add more liquid if needed.

For the cream cheese frosting
Place in a small bowl
1/2 cup cream cheese, softened
2 Tablespoons butter
1 1/4 Cups confectioner’s sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
Mix until smooth.

About 22 cookies

             Christmas Cookies




Preheat oven to 350° F 

Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper.



Place in a medium bowl

3 Cups flour

1 Tablespoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

Whisk together.          

 

Place in a large mixer bowl
1 Cup unsalted butter, room temperature
1/2 Cup sugar
Beat until smooth and creamy.
Add
3 large eggs, room temperature
1/2 teaspoon almond or anise extract
Mix until combined.
Mixing on low speed, gradually add the dry ingredients until a soft dough forms.
Cover and chill dough for at least 1 hour.

Scoop tablespoon-sized mounds onto the sheet, spacing 2 inches apart.   
Bake for 9 to 11 minutes, or until bottoms are lightly golden.
Let cool on the sheet for 3 minutes, then transfer to a rack to cool completely.                                                               
                                                                        
For the glaze
Place in a small bowl
2 Cups confectioner’s sugar
1/4 Cup whole milk
1/4 teaspoon almond or anise extract
Mix until smooth.
Dip the tops of cooled cookies.
Decorate with Christmas sprinkles immediately and let the glaze set before storing.

About 24 cookies

                    ~~~

This was a holiday piece I wrote a few years ago for the CKUW radio show ‘2000 & Counting’ when we decided to chat about family holiday dinners. 
Being politically correct - and politically sensitive - was just starting around the turn of the century.
It was and is still a part of menu planning.

The family that eats a holiday dinner together… can still be in for a whole lot of trouble.

My friend Muriel still hasn't recovered from last Christmas.

The poor dear had tried to please everybody. Solomon couldn't have pulled that off. Muriel was willing to go with the flow, but she was caught in a tsunami. Her husband Tom is a simple man with simple tastes. He just wanted a roasted bird with stuffing and cranberry sauce.

He should never have had children.


Their eldest daughter, Donna, keeps up with trends. Muriel had asked Donna to bring the appetizers. Muriel expected their traditional celery sticks with cream cheese, crackers and cheese cubes. Donna waltzed in with an oriental party pack and assorted seafood and chicken wing platters. Something for everyone. Uh, huh.
Tom backed off when he saw the egg rolls. "I don't like Chinese."
Donna said, "I got you BBQ chicken wings."
Ignoring her, Tom said, "They don't serve bread." He went to the kitchen for bread.


Then Betty arrived. Betty lives in a commune and supports the rights of everything and everybody… except those of the hostess. Betty always carried tofu because she never ate dairy products or anything with eyes or eggs. Muriel had prepared a nice salad for Betty. Not good enough.
"Were the pickers paid a decent wage?"
"The lettuce had a union label."
"I only eat organically grown food. Did they use manure."
"We had to scrub the carrots with bleach to get the E coli off."
"Oh... okay."
Tom heard E coli and reached for another slice of bread.


Finally their son Bill arrived with his wife Carol and their children, Krystal and Jason. Bill and Carol had every allergy in the book. Bill also had high cholesterol and Carol had her waistline. They avoided the platters of appetizers and drank the water that they had brought.


Krystal, a tender-hearted child, burst into tears when she saw the chicken wings.
"Oh, those poor birdies. Do you know how they treat chickens, Grandma?"

Muriel figured the birds were better off than she was. They never had to make a holiday dinner for the family. But this was her granddaughter.
"Krystal, dear, these birdies lived in a happy place where they laughed and played and sang songs for a long, long time. Then one day they just went to sleep and, just like butterflies, they turned into chicken wings."
"Oh... okay."
Who says the next generation knows it all?
Tom heard Muriel's tale of the laughing, singing chickens, figured she'd finally lost it, and ate more bread.

Ignored by his elders, Jason gobbled a fistful of seafood appetizers and started wheezing. Muriel packed away the appetizers before her children could start a food fight and led them to the main event.


The table looked like a sailboat regatta that had been designed by Martha Stewart. Every dish had a tiny flag listing all of the ingredients. Muriel did not want to have to call the paramedics again. Krystal cried when she saw the turkey.

When Betty reached for the potatoes, Bill said, "But they have eyes". Betty meant to kick her brother, but got her sister-in-law, Carol, who screamed and kicked back. Muriel yelled at her kids. The holiday dinner was just like always. Damn.


After everyone had eaten what they could, Muriel brought out a carafe of hot cranberry apple cider. This was her gift to herself. Seeing all the different coffees at the supermarket had made her go all whoozie. Whatever happened to plain old coffee, black or with cream? Muriel’s children didn't say a word while visions of cappuccinos, espressos and lattes danced in their heads.


Betty was in charge of the dessert. She had created something that was just what the doctor ordered. No eggs, no cream, no butter, and no taste.
Tom just saw a pumpkin pie and it looked fine. He helped himself to a slice, smiled and thought that Betty was returning to the food of her mother.

But, something tasted... off. Maybe a new spice?
"Betty, what's in this pie," he asked.
"Tofu."
"Geez." Tom reached for the bread.


Jason had wheezed throughout the whole meal.
All in all, it had been just another family holiday get together.


God help Muriel. The holidays are back.

Anna Sultana’s Pastina Soups, Pasta e Fagioli Soup and Panettone / Christmas Sadness by Margaret Ullrich

 

It’s traditional to say ‘Happy’ and ‘Merry’ when a holiday comes.
But sometimes happy isn’t what somebody is feeling.
I’m not talking about the tired, stressed feeling that is usually felt by anyone who’s in charge of taking care of meals, gifts, accommodations for guests and peace keeping that are needed during big holiday events.

During the year life happens, and sometimes life feels like a kick in the gut.
And it’s impossible to ‘just shake it off’ and get into a party mood.
And that’s perfectly normal.
I mean, who said we have to put on an act?


Say ‘Italian Food’ and people automatically picture pizza, pastries and pasta.
Well, there’s a fourth P item that every Italian, and Maltese, reaches for when needing a bit of comfort.
Pastina.
Pastina just means small pasta.
But when we picture pastina it’s a steaming bowl of chicken soup with tiny pasta.
A bowl of pastina was our first solid food.
Our mothers made it whenever someone was coming down with a cold or looking sad.
It’s called the Italian Penicillin.
A bowl of pastina is comfort, love and peace in a bowl.

It’s easy to make, and like any ancient recipe, there are variations.
I’m posting a few, as well as a recipe for Pasta e Fagioli Soup, a comforting, cheap, filling meal that's handy when the bills start coming in January.


It’s been said that man does not live by bread alone.
Well, sure, a bit of butter is always appreciated.
Panettone, a traditional Italian Christmas bread, is a soft, buttery, sweet bread filled with citrus and raisins.


There's a legend about Italy’s Christmas bread, Panettone. 

It was created in Milan by a young nobleman named Antonio, who was in love with a baker's daughter. He went to work for the baker, whose business was failing. Antonio added butter, sugar, candied fruit and eggs to the bread dough.

People loved the new creation: Pane di Toni or Tony's bread.

Soup and bread.
Take some comfort from where ever you can.


Hints:

These recipes feed four to six. You can make a double batch and freeze half.
Many stores carry boxes of ditalini, orzo, alphabet or tiny star-shaped pasta which are perfect for pastina soup. If your store doesn’t, use elbow macaroni.

The Parmesan rind adds a rich flavour.
If you don’t have a rind, you can add 1 Tablespoon Worcestershire sauce to the broth.

After the pasta’s cooked crack an egg into the pot and stir gently to create egg ribbons.

Before serving the soup, taste and season with salt and pepper.
Garnish with chopped fresh parsley (or dry), grated Parmesan cheese and a small pat of butter or a drizzle of olive oil.
A dash of lemon juice or lemon slices adds a nice flavour, too.

Serve with warm crusty bread.


About the Pastina with Fresh Tomatoes Soup…
You can add chopped chicken, diced carrots, peas and a small can of tomato sauce.


About the Pastina with Cannellini Beans Soup…
White or red kidney beans (actually any canned beans) would be fine.
This leftover soup thickens. Add broth or water when reheating to bring it back to the right consistency.


About the Pasta Fagioli Soup…
if you don’t have pancetta you can use diced pepperoni, bacon, ham or pork or make it without meat.


About the Panettone…
When kneading do not add too much flour.

 

 

                    Basic Pastina Soup

Place in a large pot
2 Tablespoons olive oil
Heat over medium heat.
Add
1 small yellow or white onion, diced
1 Cup carrots, peeled and diced
1 Cup celery (about 2 stalks), diced (optional)
2 garlic cloves, minced (optional)
Stirring, sauté until softened, about 6 to 8 minutes.
Add
5 Cups low-sodium chicken broth
1 Cup water
1 Parmesan rind
Bring to a gentle boil.
Stir in
1 Cup pastina
Reduce heat slightly and simmer for 5 to 7 minutes.
Remove the Parmesan rind.
Ladle into bowls and garnish.


                                       Pastina with Fresh Tomatoes Soup

Score a small X on the bottoms of
6 cherry tomatoes
Place them in a bowl and cover with boiling water.
Let sit for 2 to 3 minutes, then drain the water.
When they’re cool enough to handle, peel the tomatoes, then chop them.

Place in a large pot
6 cups chicken or veggie broth
Bring to a boil over high heat.
Add the chopped tomatoes to the simmering broth.
Stir in
1 1/2 Cups pastina
Reduce heat slightly and simmer for 5 to 7 minutes.
Turn off the heat and stir in
2 Tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese
Ladle into bowls and garnish.


                                       Pastina with Canned Tomatoes Soup

Place in a large pot
2 Tablespoons olive oil
Heat over medium heat.
Add
1/2 Cup diced onion
1 Cup diced carrots
1 Cup diced celery
3 garlic cloves, minced
Stirring, sauté until softened, about 6 to 8 minutes.
Add
5 Cups vegetable or chicken broth
1 (14.5 ounces) can diced tomatoes
1/4 teaspoon oregano (optional)
1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes (optional)
Bring to a gentle boil.
Stir in
1 Cup pastina
Reduce heat slightly and simmer for 5 to 7 minutes.
Ladle into bowls and garnish.


                                       Pastina with Spinach Soup

Place in a large pot
1 Tablespoon olive oil
Heat over medium heat.
Add
1 small yellow or white onion, diced
2 medium carrots, diced
Stirring, sauté until softened, about 6 to 8 minutes.
Stir in
2 garlic cloves, minced
Sauté for 1 minute.
Add
6 cups low-sodium vegetable or chicken broth
Bring to a gentle boil.
Stir in
3/4 Cup pastina
Reduce heat slightly and simmer for 5 to 7 minutes
Stir in
1 handful baby spinach or kale, chopped
Cook just until wilted.
Ladle into bowls and garnish.


                                       Pastina with Parmesan Ribbons Soup

Place in a small bowl
1 large egg
2 Tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese
Beat to combine.

Place in a large pot
2 Tablespoons olive oil or 1 Tablespoon unsalted butter
Heat over medium heat.
Add
1 small carrot, finely grated or diced
1 garlic clove, minced
Stirring, sauté 2 to 3 minutes.
Add
6 Cups vegetable or chicken broth
Bring to a gentle boil.
Stir in
1 1/2 Cups pastina
Reduce heat slightly and simmer for 5 to 7 minutes.
While stirring, slowly drizzle in the egg mixture.
Let simmer 1 minute, then remove from heat and stir in
2 Tablespoons fresh parsley, chopped or 1 Tablespoon dried
Ladle into bowls and garnish.

                    Pastina with Cannellini Soup

Place in a large pot
1 Tablespoon olive oil
Heat over medium heat.
Add
1 small onion, chopped
2 carrots, diced
2 celery stalks, diced
Stirring, sauté until softened, about 6 to 8 minutes.
Stir in
2 garlic cloves, minced
                                                               Cook for 1 minute.
Add
6 Cups vegetable or chicken broth
1 (14.5 ounces) can diced tomatoes
1 (15 ounces) can cannellini beans, rinsed and drained
Bring to a gentle boil.
Stir in
3/4 Cup pastina
Reduce heat slightly and simmer for 5 to 7 minutes.
Ladle into bowls and garnish.


                                       Pasta e Fagioli Soup

Dice
4 ounces pancetta
1 medium onion
3 plum tomatoes

Place in a large pot
1 Tablespoon olive oil
Heat over medium heat.
Add diced pancetta
Sauté for 7 to 10 minutes, until the fat is mostly rendered.
Add diced onion
Cook 5 minutes, then stir in
5 cloves garlic, minced
1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
Cook 1 to 2 minutes until garlic is golden.
Add
6 cups of water
diced tomatoes
3 (16 ounces) cans cannellini beans, drained, not rinsed
1/2 teaspoon rosemary
1 Parmesan rind
Bring to a boil.
Reduce heat and gently mash some of the beans with a wooden spoon for creaminess. (optional)
Add
2 cups pastina or small shells
Reduce heat slightly and simmer for 5 to 7 minutes.
Stir and add more water if needed.
Remove the Parmesan rind.
Ladle into bowls and garnish.

                    Panettone

Grease a deep round pan (a 2 1/2 quart pot would be fine)

Heat  to scalding
1/2 Cup milk
Let it stand until it is lukewarm.

Place in a small mixer bowl
1/2 Cup butter or margarine, softened
1/4 Cup sugar
1 teaspoon salt
                                                           Beat until creamy.
Pour into a warmed mixing bowl
1/4 Cup warm water
Add
1 Tablespoon yeast
Stir until the yeast is dissolved.
Let sit 10 minutes.
Add the warm milk and the sugar / butter mixture and stir well.
Add
2 large eggs, beaten
2 Cups flour
Beat until smooth.
Blend in
1/4 Cup seedless raisins
1/2 Cup mixed candied fruits
1/4 Cup toasted almonds, chopped
1 Tablespoon lemon extract
Add enough flour to make a soft dough, about 2 cups.
Turn the dough out on a lightly floured surface.
Knead until dough is smooth and elastic.
Put in an oiled bowl, turning the dough to coat it with oil.
Cover with a damp towel and let stand in a warm place away from drafts about 1 1/2 hours, until doubled in bulk.

Punch down the dough and turn out on a board.
Cover with bowl and let rest 10 minutes.
Shape dough in a round loaf and place it in the greased pan.
Cover and let rise in a warm place until doubled, about 1 hour.
Cut an "X" in the top.

Preheat oven to 375º F

Combine
1 egg yolk
1 Tablespoon cold water
Brush egg mixture over the loaf.
Bake 1 hour or until brown.
Remove from oven and let cool in pan on a rack 10 minutes.
Remove bread from pan and return bread to rack to cool completely.

                                                                                     ~~~

For another broadcast of our CKUW radio program ‘2000 & Counting’ we talked about past Christmases.
Our show was hosted by seniors who had gone through the usual types of life experiences, some good and some bad.
But we had gotten through them all.

Wishing you peace, joy, health and everything good in 2026.


I wish you all a very happy holiday season full of peace, health, joy and love.
And, of course, favourite foods.
Let's not forget television specials and Christmas music.

For those who don't know the story, the Christmas carol Silent Night was written in the nineteenth century because of a problem.      
In a small Austrian church the organ was broken and couldn't be repaired in time for the Christmas Eve Mass. So, in a couple of hours, Joseph Mohr and Franz Gruber created a simple song that could be played on the guitar.
It was called the song from heaven.
      
On Christmas Eve in 1914, the German soldiers singing Silent Night brought a touch of humanity to World War l. The British soldiers responded with another carol, The First Noel. For a few hours, peace returned, thanks to music.


The first year I was on the CKUW radio show 2000 & Counting, Older and Wiser I prerecorded our two holiday shows. That year the holidays occurred on Tuesday, the day we usually broadcasted, and we wanted to be home.
I taped each person telling a story and their favourite Christmas carol recording.
The segments filled the two hours easily.

Normally we did our shows live and, as our listeners knew, we did make mistakes. 
With prerecording, we were able to edit them. We sounded pretty good.


Maybe that's the problem with modern life.
We hear recordings and see shows that have had dozens of retakes.
Sometimes they show the bloopers.
It's pretty funny to see that even big stars make mistakes.

But, most of the time, all we only see a smoothly running show where everyone always says the right thing, the dinner is cooked to perfection and all problems are resolved with everybody hugging each other within a half an hour.

It can leave one feeling like he's been cheated, or that he should try harder.


The first Christmas was a stinker. Being in a big city with no available rooms is not fun. Add to that Mary was about to have her first baby in a barn with just a carpenter there to help.

I don't think any Christmas has ever gone according to plan.
And maybe Christmas just isn't supposed to be perfect.


A first Christmas away from all that's familiar can be rough.
Our first married Christmas was a big change.
Paul and I are originally from New York City.  Tons of people.
I came from a huge family - a first generation immigrant family.
My parents and their siblings couldn't get enough of each other.   
 
But, there we were in 1972, all alone in Surrey, British Columbia.
The two of us in a basement apartment watching Perry Como's Christmas Special.
It was something from home for us.
This was in the days before Skype. We hadn't seen our relatives for six months.    
When we watched Perry Como, it was good to know our folks were watching it, too.
For an hour, we were all together.
Then we went to bed for a long winter's nap.
     

The next morning we awoke hearing our puppy happily yelping and splashing in water.
No, he wasn't in a basin or a tub.
     
Surrey in those days was very rural. 
There were open drainage ditches running along the lengths of the residential blocks. The ditch in front of our house had gotten plugged. The rain had soaked our lawn and was seeping through three walls of our apartment. We were rapidly being flooded.

We piled things onto our bed.
The folks upstairs helped us carry everything else into their apartment.
Within a half hour water covered about two feet of our first Christmas tree.
We were safe and dry upstairs, sharing a cup of coffee.
Then we heard our phone ringing.

My folks had said they would call on Christmas Day.
If we didn't answer they phone, they would worry.
This was in the days before cell phones.
Our only phone was on the table in our apartment.
Our flooded apartment.

We braved the icy water and the risk of electrocution to answer the phone.
We wished my folks a Merry Christmas.
Keeping our teeth from chattering, we made small talk.
No mention of of our apartment suddenly becoming a wading pool.
What would've been the point of worrying them?


Living in British Columbia is just a memory.   
Perry Como's Christmas specials are just a memory.
My parents, also, are just a memory.
But thanks to memories, we can enjoy a Christmas from the past.


During the holidays people often feel a bit down.
If this is your first Christmas after a major loss or change, be gentle with yourself.
Forget 'the rules'. Do what will make it easier for you.

It won't be perfect.
So what?
It will be real… another Christmas memory.

Anna Sultana’s Ricotta Pie, Tart Ricotta Pie, Cannoli Pie with Sugar Cone Crust, Cannoli Cake, Cannoli Cookies / Would Santa Ever Find Me? by Margaret Ullrich

It's December 21st, the first day of winter.
This past week we’ve had two snowstorms, and, with the winds, we had white outs.
The weather was so bad that the buses couldn’t run and they had to shut down the schools.
In Manitoba the ‘first day of winter’ bit just gets an eye roll.
Like, it’s December, put on your toque and get your shovel.

No matter the weather, the holiday season is here.
All together now: Tradition... Tradition...
I know that most of the time everyone just does what they have - or want - to do.
But  the holiday season has rules - I mean, traditions - that must be followed.
Yippee kay yoh kay yay!


My Christmas traditions are Maltese and Italian.
Whether we were visiting Sicilian relative or eating at home we always had Ricotta Pie and fresh - practically made-to-order - Cannoli for Christmas.

Ricotta Pie is very simple to make and can be served for a light brunch any time of the year.

If you’re not Italian, cannoli is a tube-shaped dessert made of fried pastry dough filled with a sweet cheese, usually ricotta, filling.
Traditional Italian bakers fill the tube just before serving to keep the tube crisp.
Leftovers have to be refrigerated.
But after a day the shell gets soft and the cannoli just isn’t as good.
That’s why my mother and aunts started using the filling in pies and cakes and cookies.

If you're not interested in frying pastry dough while everyone is having fun around the tree, these recipes are fine cannoli substitutes.

Merry Christmas!!


Hints:

For a smooth texture, drain ricotta for at least an hour in a cheesecloth lined strainer, and have it at room temperature before using.

The ricotta and cannoli pies and the cannoli cake should be refrigerated.
The cookies will be fine at room temperature.

Traditional Pie Crust:
Place in large bowl
4 Cups flour
1 1/2 Cups cold unsalted butter, cubed
Cut in butter.
Make a well in the centre and add
1 egg, beaten
1/2 Cup ice water
3 Tablespoons sour cream
1 Tablespoon vinegar
1 Tablespoon sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
Stir together and form into 3 balls.
Roll out 1 ball slightly larger than a 9 inch pie plate.
Gently fit it in, crimp the edges, and trim excess.
Repeat with remaining 2 balls.


About the Cannoli Pie with Sugar Cone Crust…
To make it ahead replace the confectioner’s sugar with one can sweetened condensed milk and freeze overnight.
Let it sit for 15 to 20 minutes before slicing.


                                                     Ricotta Pie                                                              

Have prepared in 9 inch pie plate
1 pie crust

Place in a large bowl
2 Cups whole milk ricotta
Whisk until smooth.
Add
3/4 Cup sugar
3 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
Zest of 1 lemon
1/4 teaspoon salt
Mix until creamy and fully combined.

Preheat oven to 350° F

Pour the filling into the pie crust and smooth the top.
Bake for 50 to 60 minutes, until the centre is set and the top is golden.
Let the pie cool completely on a wire rack.
Refrigerate for at least 2 hours, or overnight.
Just before slicing, dust with
Confectioner’s sugar

                                                     Tart Ricotta Pie

Have prepared in 9 inch pie plate
1 pie crust

Place in a large bowl
1 Cup sugar
4 large eggs
1 Tablespoon vanilla
Whisk together until smooth, about 1 minute.
Add
2 Cups whole milk ricotta
1/4 Cup sour cream
Zest and juice of 1 lemon
Mix until well combined.
Stir in
1/4 Cup flour
Pinch of salt
Mix until no lumps remain.

Preheat oven to 350° F

Pour the filling into the pie crust and smooth the top.
Bake for 45 to 50 minutes, or until set and only slightly jiggly in the centre.
Cool completely at room temperature, then refrigerate for at least 2 (preferably 4) hours.
Before serving, dust top with
1 Tablespoon cinnamon


                                                     Cannoli Pie with Sugar Cone Crust

Preheat oven to 350° F 

Sugar Cone Pie Crust:
Crush 12 sugar cones to get 1 1/2 Cups of 1/4 inch bits and finer crumbs.
Add
4 Tablespoons butter, melted
Combine until blended.
Press crumbs into a 9 inch pie plate.
Bake for 5 minutes. Let cool completely.

Place in a large mixer bowl
2 1/2 Cups heavy cream
Whip to stiff peaks.
For the filling: measure out 2 cups and set aside.
For the topping: place the remainder in a bowl, cover, and refrigerate.

Place in the same large mixer bowl (you don’t need to wash it)
8 ounces mascarpone cheese, room temperature
4 ounces cream cheese, room temperature
Beat for 3 minutes.
Add
1 Cup Confectioner’s sugar
Beat until smooth.
Add
1 Cup ricotta cheese
1 1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1 teaspoon orange zest
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
Beat 3 minutes.
Gently fold in the 2 Cups of whipped cream.
Pour into the cooled crust and smooth the top.

Whisk into the refrigerated whipped cream
3 Tablespoons Confectioner’s sugar
Pipe whipped cream around the edge of the pie.
Sprinkle with
1/3 Cup mini chocolate chips
1/3 Cup chopped pistachios
Refrigerate for at least 4 hours before serving.

                       Cannoli Cake

Preheat oven to 350° F
Grease and flour three 8 inch round cake pans.

Place in a medium bowl
2 1/2 Cups flour
2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
Whisk together.


Place in a large mixer bowl
1 Cup unsalted butter, softened
1 3/4 Cups sugar
Cream together until light and fluffy.
Beat in, one at a time
4 large eggs
Add
1 Tablespoon vanilla
Making 3 dry and 2 liquid additions, add
the flour mixture
1 Cup milk
Mix gently, just until combined.
Fold in
1/2 Cup mini chocolate chips
Divide batter evenly among prepared pans.
Bake for 25 to 30 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean.
Let cool completely.

For the cake’s topping:
Place in a large mixer bowl
2 1/2 Cups heavy cream
Whip to stiff peaks.
Place in a bowl, cover, and refrigerate.

For decorating: (optional)
Place in a small mixer bowl
1/2 Cup heavy cream
Whip to stiff peaks.
Whisk in
1/2 Tablespoon Confectioner’s sugar
Cover and refrigerate.

Cannoli Filling:
Place in the same large mixer bowl (you don’t need to wash it)
1 1/2 Cups ricotta cheese
1 Cup mascarpone cheese
1 Cup Confectioner’s sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
Beat until smooth.
Layer the cake with half of cannoli filling between the layers.
Cover the top and sides with cake's topping whipped cream 

Pipe the cream for decorating around the edge of the cake. (optional)
Sprinkle over the top
1 Cup mini chocolate chips
                                                             

                       Cannoli Cookies

Preheat oven to 350° F
Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper.

Place in a medium bowl
1 3/4 Cups flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
Whisk together and set aside.

Place in a large mixer bowl
1/2 Cup unsalted butter, softened
1 Cup sugar
Cream until light and fluffy.
Add
1 Cup whole milk ricotta cheese
1 large egg
1 teaspoon vanilla
Mix until smooth.
Gradually stir in the flour mixture.
Fold in
1 Tablespoon orange zest
3/4 Cup mini chocolate chips
Place tablespoon-sized balls of dough on the baking sheets.
Bake for 12 to 14 minutes, or until the edges are just turning golden.

Place in small microwaveable bowl
1 Cup chocolate chips (your choice of sweetness)
Microwave until just melted.

After cookies have cooled completely, dust with
Confectioner’s sugar
Drizzle with
Melted chocolate
Store them in a tin that’s been lined with wax paper.

                                                                  ~~~

 

In 2004 I wrote this story for our CKUW radio show '2000 & Counting - Older & Wiser'. 

For a while it was our annual tradition.

I got a few e mails asking if I could post the original story. 


Here it is.

If you'd like to try some of the recipes, I've posted many of them. Just copy the name and paste it in the 'looking for a recipe' box.

 

Change follows us from the cradle to the grave. When I was five years old I was hit with a megadose of change. I moved to another town, got a baby sister, got to go to kindergarten and got Santa Claus. 
 


Five years earlier my parents and I had emigrated from Malta to New York and settled in Corona. We didn't have much choice. Five of Pop's brothers and sisters lived in Corona. So, we had to live in Corona, too. 
 


Corona was a little slice of Italy on Long Island. The store clerks were bilingual: English and Italian. The grocery stores in Corona were stocked with Italian necessities. Almost everything in all the other stores had been imported from Italy. 
Corona was where we learned how to be Americans. 
 


Nonni's children, Betty and Angelo, had married two of Pop's siblings, Joe and Helen. So, Nonni was a double Grandma in my family. Since all my grandparents were in Malta, Nonni treated me as a grandchild, too. 
 


Every Christmas Eve we gathered at Uncle Joe and Aunt Betty's home. A whole corner of their living room was filled with Nonni's manger scene. It was not just a shed with Mary, Joseph, three kings and one shepherd standing around Baby Jesus. Nonni had a complete village with houses, trees, hills, paths, ponds and animals. There were people walking around just minding their own business. Some of the figures were really old and we couldn't play with them.

But each year Nonni added something new: a woman carrying a basket of eggs, a farmer carrying a head of cabbage, a man carrying a bundle of wood. Nonni’s manger scene was better than any store window on 5th Avenue in Manhattan.

Dinner was a feast. Fish was traditional: eel for the parents, bluefish for the children. There was also soup, pasta and vegetables, followed by ricotta pie, anise biscotti, pizzelle and cuccidati cookies, strufoli, creamy roasted chestnuts and torrone candy. My favourite was the huge golden mound of strufoli: tiny doughnut balls covered with honey and multi-coloured sprinkles. 

After dinner we played games and our parents talked until it was time to walk to the Midnight Mass at St. Leo's. After Mass we returned to Uncle Joe's for some panettone, a holiday bread made with butter, raisins, almonds and citron. 



Then Nonni would tell us to look at the manger scene for the surprise. The blessed Bambino, Baby Jesus, had suddenly appeared!



Christmas Eve was a wonderful night. But the big day for us children was January sixth. The night before we had hung our stockings and waited for La Befana to bring us toys. 



La Befana was a little old lady who had been sweeping her house when the Wise Men knocked on her door. They were looking for Baby Jesus and asked La Befana for directions. Then they invited La Befana to join them. 

The old woman refused, saying she had work to do. 
 


When it was dark, a great light and angels appeared in the sky. La Befana realized that the Wise Men weren't kidding about somebody special being born that night. Broom in hand, La Befana tried to catch up with the Wise Men. She never found them or Baby Jesus. 

Every year she searches for Baby Jesus and leaves presents for good little boys and girls. 




La Befana took care of me for four years. Then we moved to College Point so we could live closer to Lily Tulip where Pop worked. Then it was time for my sister to be born. While Ma was in the hospital I stayed with Aunt Betty, Uncle Joe and their two daughters. It was nice living in Corona again. The next day, Nonni took me to the local 5 and 10 and gave me a quarter. 
 


"Buy for sister."

I didn't know what a baby sister would want. I liked westerns, so I grabbed a toy gun. 

"No. Buy a rattle." 

A rattle? That sounded boring, but I bought a pink plastic rattle. 
 


In those days children were not allowed to visit anyone in the hospital. When Aunt Betty visited Ma, she gave the rattle to my new sister. I waited outside the hospital and waved to the window of Ma's room. When Aunt Betty returned she had a gift from my new sister for me. Three pieces of chocolate. 


Well, wasn't that nice of her. Not as nice as a toy gun, but maybe that was all she could get from where she'd been. 
 




After Rose was born we didn't go to Corona as often. It was easier to walk to the local church instead of driving to St. Leo's. I missed seeing my family. 



That September I started kindergarten in St. Fidelis School. Some of the good sisters had wanted to travel and meet exotic heathens in far away places. Well, they almost got their wish. I was the first Maltese child they'd ever seen. College Point had been settled by Irish and German families. It was time for me to learn about America through their eyes. 
 


As Christmas approached, the windows of the German bakeries were filled with the most beautiful cookies I'd ever seen. They were in all kinds of shapes: stars, angels, animals and wreaths. They were decorated with coconut, jam, icing and tiny silver balls. 

Some of my classmates brought in samples of their mothers' baking. I brought some biscotti. My friends were polite and tasted the dry, double-baked bread. Then we ate the lebkuchen, pfeffernuesse, zimtsterne, and jam filled spitzbuben. The stollen reminded me of panettone. 
 


I thought a German Christmas was delicious. I planned to eat German and Italian holiday food every Christmas for the rest of my life. 
 


We helped Sister decorate the Christmas tree with sugar cookies which had been twisted into figure eights. Then Sister told us to gather around her. She was going to read us a story. Sister showed us the picture of Santa Claus and his eight reindeer. My friends were delighted. 



I was confused. 
 


I had never heard any of this before. Santa was supposed to slide down a chimney and land in a fireplace. 

We didn't have a fireplace. We had a huge, oil-burning furnace in the basement. Ma hung our stockings, along with all the other wet laundry, on a clothesline near the furnace. It made awful noises and had fire in it. If Santa landed in the furnace he'd fry like a strufoli. That would end Christmas forever. I didn't think Santa would take such a risk for a total stranger. The lovely cookies felt like lead in my stomach.



Sister talked about Santa checking his list of good little girls and boys. 

Santa had a list? I knew we were on the Registered Aliens list. Every January the TV reminded Ma to fill out green cards so we wouldn't go to jail or Malta. How could I get on Santa's list? Could Santa get my name from the Alien list? Did I need to fill out another card? 
 


The afternoon went from bad to worse. Sister told us we could put our letters to Santa in the special mailbox in the classroom. A letter? What language did Santa speak? He'd never heard from me. I wasn't on his list. What could I say? 
 


"Hi, you don't know me, but I'd like some toys." I'd never written a letter to La Befana. She just gave me toys. Would Santa shoot La Befana if she came to College Point? Oh, boy… I was in big trouble. 
 


In kindergarten we learned about God the Father, about how we should pray to Him and tell Him what we needed. I didn't need another Father. I figured if my Pop was always busy working, this guy who took care of everything in the whole wide world would really never have time for me. 



I needed a Grandma.
 


The next time we went to Corona I told Nonni about Santa Claus and that he was in charge of Christmas in College Point. Nonni listened patiently as I explained the rules. 

She repeated the main points: "Santa Claus. A letter."

I nodded. 

"I fix. I write letter to Befana. She give to Santa. No hard feelings. Christmas come." 
 


I had my doubts. Nonni had never been to College Point. Maybe nobody ever had to change from La Befana to Santa Claus. Maybe Christmas was lost forever, like some of the packages we never got from Malta.
 


On Christmas Eve we all gathered at Uncle Joe and Aunt Betty's home in Corona. We had the Christmas Eve dinner. Then we went to St. Leo's for the Midnight Mass. Everything was familiar. Latin and Italian. Why couldn't we have stayed there? 



When we were leaving the church I saw a pale cloud in the sky. It looked long and thin, with a sort of lump on one end. For a moment I thought it looked like Santa and his sleigh with eight tiny reindeer. I kept looking at that cloud. It followed us from the church to Uncle Joe's house, where we had panettone.  

When we left, the cloud was still there. I watched from the car. The cloud followed us from Corona to College Point. 
 


I never noticed clouds before. Did clouds always follow people from one town to another? Was it really a cloud? Sister had told us that Santa had millions of helpers, tiny people called elves. Could it have been an elf picking up the letter from La Befana?
 


Christmas morning, Pop was eating breakfast while Ma was cleaning Rose. Ma sent me to the basement to get some dry diapers that were hanging by the furnace. Being a big sister wasn't much fun. I pulled down two diapers. Then I noticed some lumps by the furnace. I thought some clothes had fallen off the line. I walked toward the furnace. 


 
But the lumps weren't clothes.  


They were boxes. 

They were wrapped. 

They were presents! 

They were for me!!



Santa had found me.

Breads: Cinnamon Donut, Cinnamon Swirl Donut, Lemon Blueberry Loaf, Starbucks Lemon Loaf, Lemon Loaf, Lemon Cottage Loaf / Christmas Baking by Margaret Ullrich

Okay… we’re dashing down the icy Christmas highway.
It’s all going to hit the fan in seven days.


Unless you’ve managed to find something as life changing and important as the Red Ryder Carbine Action 200-shot Range Model air rifle from Jean Shepherd’s A Christmas Story, everyone’s main focus is going to be on what you are going to feed them.

Think about about all the most important Christmas movie scenes:
The Cratchit’s family dinner - the one with Tim’s big ‘God bless us, everyone’ scene - in each and every version of A Christmas Carol
The lime jello with cat food that accompanied the Griswold’s overcooked turkey that exploded in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Nora racing to get the last can of Mel's Hickory Honey Ham in Christmas with the Kranks
The reaction the whole neighbourhood had when Nora confessed that she couldn’t get the ham and they would have to feast on smoked trout

No doubt about it.
Your meal will have an audience who will be taking note and recording every little detail of your dinner, from soup to nuts.
Most likely they’ll also be posting pictures on Facebook.
No pressure.

Come to think of it, food played an important part in A Christmas Story.
Remember when, after the excitement from unwrapping the gifts was over, the Bumpus’s hound dogs broke into the Parkers’ home and devoured their turkey?
Destroying their chance of having turkey leftovers in all its tradition forms.
The last memory Ralphie had of that Christmas was the Chinese turkey they were introduced to in the Chinese restaurant.
THE. LAST. MEMORY.

Yes, food is THAT important.

If you haven’t baked a fruitcake, all’s not lost.
These breads don’t need to age.
They can serve as a brunch or as a dessert.

Well, it’s a start.


Hints:

If you do not have buttermilk add a tablespoon of lemon juice or vinegar to one cup milk and let sit five minutes. Stir and use.

About the Cinnamon Donut Bread…
For seasonal twists use pumpkin pie spice or cardamom instead of cinnamon.

This loaf is ideal for breakfast, snacks, or an after dinner dessert.
Wrapped, this loaf stays moist for up to three days. it can also be frozen for up to 2 months. Thaw at room temperature.


About the Starbucks Lemon Loaf (Copycat)…
For a brighter flavour use more lemon zest and a touch less extract.
Don’t overmix when you add the dry ingredients. Small lumps are okay.
Avoid overbaking for the moistest texture.
Store in airtight container to store at room temperature for up to 5 days.
Wrap cooled loaf tightly and freeze for up to 3 months. Thaw overnight in fridge before serving.


About the Lemon Cottage Loaf…
Two lemons will be enough for both the juice and zest needed.

Start with one tablespoon juice, cream and sugar for the icing. Add more sugar if the icing is too thin, because you want the icing thick, but still pourable.
Add 1/2 teaspoon more of liquid if it’s too thick.

When the bread is completely cooled, and the icing is hardened store in an airtight container. You can store it at room temperature for 4 to 5 days.
Don’t store the lemon loaf cake in the fridge or it will dry it out quicker.
This lemon loaf can also be frozen for up to 6 months. Thaw at room temperature.

 

                      Cinnamon Donut Bread

Preheat oven to 350° F
Grease a 9x5-inch loaf pan or line with parchment paper.

For the Cinnamon Sugar Topping:
1/2 Cup granulated sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon
Stir together.

 

For the Donut Bread:
Place in a medium bowl
2 large eggs
1 Cup buttermilk
1/2 Cup unsalted butter, melted
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
Stir together.

Place in a large bowl
2 Cups flour
3/4 Cup sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
Stir together.
Pour the wet mixture into the dry ingredients.
Stir gently until just combined.
Pour the batter into the prepared loaf pan.
Bake for 45 to 50 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the centre comes out clean.
Let the bread cool in the pan for 10 minutes before transferring it to a wire rack.
Brush the top with
1/4 Cup unsalted butter, melted
Sprinkle over the top the cinnamon sugar topping.
Slice and serve warm or at room temperature with butter or honey.


                                      Cinnamon Swirl Donut Bread

Preheat oven to 350° F
Grease an 8x4-inch loaf pan.

For the Cinnamon Sugar Topping:
Place in a large plate.
1/4 Cup sugar
1/4 Cup light brown sugar, packed
1 teaspoon cinnamon
Stir together and set aside.

For the Donut Bread:
Place in a small bowl
1 1/2 Cups flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
Stir together.

Place in a large mixer bowl
1/2 Cup butter, softened
1 Cup sugar
Beat together until light and fluffy, about 1 minute.
Add
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 Cup sour cream or Greek yogurt
Mix until smooth.

Add half of the flour mixture to the bowl. Stir just to blend.
Then add
1/4 Cup milk
Blend together, then add
Add the remaining flour mixture. Stir just to blend.
Then add
1/4 Cup milk
Stir just to blend.

Remove 1 Cup of the batter and place in a small bowl.
Stir in
1 Tablespoon molasses
2 teaspoons cinnamon

Pour half of the original batter into the prepared loaf pan.
Cover with the cinnamon / molasses batter.
Pour the remaining original batter on top.
Using a butter knife, swirl the layers together a bit.

Bake for 50 to 60 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the centre comes out clean.

Remove pan from oven, place on a wire rack and allow to cool for 10 minutes.
Run a knife around the edge, remove the bread from the pan, and transfer bread to a wire rack to finish cooling completely.
Make sure the loaf is cooled completely before adding topping. Otherwise, it will be too soft and could break when you try to lift and dip it.

Brush the top and sides of the loaf with
1/4 Cup unsalted butter, melted
Dip the top and sides of the loaf into the sugar mixture.
Slice and serve warm or at room temperature.

                      Lemon Blueberry Loaf

Preheat oven to 350° F
Grease and flour a 9x5-inch loaf pan.

Place in a small bowl
1 Cup fresh or frozen blueberries
1 Tablespoon flour
Toss together and set aside.
Place in a medium bowl
1 2/3 Cups flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
                                                      Stir together.

Place in a measuring cup
1/2 Cup milk
1 Tablespoon lemon juice
1 teaspoon lemon extract
Stir together.

Place in a large mixer bowl
1/2 Cup butter, softened
1 Cup sugar
Cream until fluffy.
Add, one at a time,
2 large eggs
Beat well after each addition.
Add alternately, making 3 dry and 2 liquid additions
the flour mixture
the milk mixture
Fold in
the floured blueberries

Pour batter into prepared pan.
Bake for 50 to 60 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the centre comes out clean.
Cool in the pan for 10 minutes before removing to a wire rack.
Run a knife around the edge, remove the bread from the pan, and transfer bread to a wire rack to finish cooling.

For the Lemon Syrup:
Place in a small saucepan
2 to 3 Tablespoons lemon juice
1 Cup confectioner’s sugar
Stirring constantly, cook over low heat until it thickens slightly.
Pour over the cooled bread and allow to cool completely before cutting.
 

           Starbucks Lemon Loaf (Copycat)

Preheat oven to 350° F
Spray a 9×5-inch loaf pan with cooking spray.
Set aside.

Place in a large mixer bowl
1 Cup sugar
3 large eggs
1 Cup sour cream
Beat until smooth.
While mixing on low speed, gradually add
1/2 Cup vegetable oil
Zest of 1 large lemon
2 Tablespoons lemon extract
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
Beat to combine.
Stir in
1 1/2 Cups flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
Stir until just combined.

Pour batter into the prepared loaf pan.
Bake for 40 to 45 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the centre comes out clean. If browning too much, tent with foil during the last 10 to 15 minutes.
Allow the loaf to cool completely in the pan.
Transfer bread to a wire rack to finish cooling completely before glazing.

For the Glaze:
Place in a medium bowl
1 Tablespoon lemon juice
1 Tablespoon milk
Stir together, then gradually add
1 Cup confectioner’s sugar (more if needed for consistency)
Beat until smooth.
Drizzle over cooled loaf.
Let set, then slice and serve.


                                      Lemon Loaf (Starbucks Copycat)

Preheat oven to 350° F
With a pencil, trace the bottom of the pan on a piece of waxed paper and cut out with scissors. Line the bottom of a 9x5-inch loaf pan with a piece of waxed paper. Spray the pan and paper with non-stick baking spray.
Set aside.

Place in a medium bowl
1 1/2 Cups flour
1 (3.4 oz. package) instant lemon pudding mix
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
Stir to combine.

Place in a large mixer bowl
3 large eggs
1 Cup sugar
2 Tablespoons butter, softened
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 Tablespoon lemon extract
1/3 Cup lemon juice
1/2 Cup oil
3/4 Cup plain Greek yogurt
Blend until evenly combined.
Gradually add the dry ingredients, stopping to scrape down the sides of the bowl, until just combined.
Pour batter into the prepared pan.
Bake for 55 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the centre comes out clean.
Remove pan from oven, place on a wire rack and allow to cool for 10 minutes.
Run a knife around the edge, invert and remove bread from the pan, then remove the waxed paper from the bottom.
Transfer bread to a wire rack to finish cooling completely.

For the Frosting:
Place in a small mixer bowl
3 Tablespoons butter, softened
3 Tablespoons lemon juice
1 teaspoon lemon extract
Beat to combine.
Gradually add
1 1/2 Cups confectioner’s sugar
Beat until smooth and creamy.
Evenly spread the frosting over the top of the loaf.
Refrigerate to let frosting set completely before slicing.
Store any leftovers in an airtight container in the refrigerator.

                                       Lemon Cottage Loaf

Preheat oven to 350° F
Grease an 8 inch square baking pan.

Place in a medium bowl
1 1/2 Cups flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
Stir to combine and set aside.

Place in a large mixer bowl
1/2 Cup butter, softened
Cream until smooth.
Add
1 Cup sugar
Mix for 2 to 3 minutes, until light and fluffy, scraping down the sides of the bowl as it mixes.
While mixing on low, add one at a time
3 large eggs
Add
2 Tablespoons lemon juice
1 Tablespoon lemon zest
1 teaspoon lemon extract (optional)
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
Stir until just combined.
Add in half the dry ingredients mixing until just combined.
Add
1/4 Cup buttermilk
Blend in, then slowly mix in the remaining flour mixture.
Add
1/4 Cup buttermilk
Blend in.
Spoon the batter into the prepared baking pan and smooth the top evenly with a spatula.
Bake for about 45 to 55 minutes until a toothpick can come out clean.
Remove from the oven and place on a wire rack.
Let cool in the pan for 1 hour, then carefully remove loaf to continue cooling on the wire rack.
When the loaf is completely cooled, prepare the icing.

For the Icing:
Place in a small mixer bowl
1 Tablespoon lemon juice
1 Tablespoon heavy cream
Stir to combine.
Gradually add
1 Cup confectioner’s sugar
Beat until smooth and creamy.
Add more powdered sugar if the glaze seems too thin.

Pour glaze over the loaf. Let the glaze set completely before slicing and serving.
Slice and serve.

                                                        ~~~

I also wrote the following essay about Christmas traditions for our CKUW radio show ‘2000 & Counting’.
Over the years our listeners asked for some seasonal stories to be repeated.
They seemed to like being reminded that we were all in the same holiday boat, a communal ship which made us feel like we were all sinking fast.

Ah… Christmas shopping, holiday customs, holiday baking…
Why do we do it?

I don't know about you, but as far as I'm concerned, there are two questions no one should ever ask a woman. 



The first is "How old are you?"

The second is "Have you done your holiday baking yet?”



Why is it that, when the thermometer falls, we're supposed to bake?  
Does the Queen whip up a fruitcake before writing her speech?


I don't think so.  



Holiday baking has been with us an awfully long time. 
Did you know that ginger was popular in Greece over 5,000 years ago? The Egyptians were eating gingerbread when the great pyramid of Cheops was just a brick and a prayer. I wonder what their gingerbread men looked like.


A few years after Egypt's building boom, an English King and his hunting party got lost in a blizzard on Christmas Eve. Well, they were clever lads full of English pluck, so they threw everything they had - meat, flour, sugar, apples, ale and brandy - into a bag and cooked it. Wallah!! Plum pudding. The Iron Chef would've been proud.  



On Christmas Day in 1666, Samuel Pepys wrote in his diary that he had risen earlier than his wife Who was desirous to sleep having sat up till four this morning seeing her maids make mince pies. 

I really admire Mrs. P. She just sat and watched her maids do the work, yet her husband felt guilty about her workload. How did she get him to suffer like that?



Some Christmas carols seem a little too focused on food. For example:

            Now bring us some figgy pudding and a cup of good cheer!

            We won't go until we get some, so bring it out here.
Those were somebody's friends? Somebody should've called the cops.


Holiday baking has followed us into modern times. The 1970s was the decade of old time family television shows like The Waltons and memoir books. 
Have you ever browsed through a memoir book? They reminded us of times like this...


Evenings when a cold blustery wind howled outside were perfect for sorting through recipes. They were cozy times. The children were sitting at the oak table helping Mama chop fruit and raisins. Papa was cracking and shelling nuts and crushing fresh spices in the grinder.

Isn't that sweet? Sentences like that convinced me that if we did things just like people did before television was invented, the world would be a kinder, gentler place.



We'll never know. Paul told me, in no uncertain terms, that he was too busy to grind nuts for a cake he didn't even want. 
Alright. Scratch Paul grinding his nuts. I bought ground nuts.


Step two... the batter had to be mixed. Back to that memoir...

When all the fruits were in, Grandmother called, 'Come, stir the batter!' 
We all took turns giving it a stir - clockwise for good luck - and made a wish.



I made a batter, threw in the fruits and called out, "Come, stir the batter!"



Carl pointed to the electric mixer sitting on the counter and said that he was staying on the eighth level of his computer game, The Temple of Ra. He also told me, in no uncertain terms, that he was too busy to stir batter for a cake he didn't even want.



I stirred the batter, clockwise.


Don't ask what I wished.



It's been downhill ever since. Do you know about the charming Swedish custom of hiding a whole almond in a serving bowl of rice pudding? The lucky person who finds the almond has to get married or do the dishes. Either my husband or my son - the fink never confessed - managed to swallow the almond every time.



I tried the German version - whoever finds the almond receives a marzipan pig. By then Paul and Carl had their own tradition: swallowing the almond. I felt so guilty looking at that poor rejected pig. 
I started my own tradition and ate him... along with the cake.



 
There's a Christmas carol that goes
Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat...


Well, the goose isn't the only one.

Cookies: Fruitcake Shortbread, Shortbread, Chocolate Chip and Toffee Shortbread, Chocolate Chip, Thumbprint, Italian Almond Paste, Raisin Oatmeal, Toffee Doodle, White Chocolate Cranberry / Oh, Christmas Tree! by Margaret Ullrich

Fruitcake Shortbread

Years ago Paul and I would go and chop down a tree as part of our our Christmas celebration.

It didn’t matter how cold it got.
And in Manitoba it can get REALLY cold.
We’re talking -40, which is the same in both Celsius and Fahrenheit.
December in Manitoba is the great equalizer.


Okay… we’re not in our 20s, 30s or 40s anymore.
Neither are our friends.
We bought a fake tree around the time we celebrated our half century birthdays.
Who needs a ‘Silver Alert’ sent out for idiot seniors who got lost in the woods while looking for a tree?
Who would search for idiot seniors lost in the woods looking for a tree?

Well, we’re Winnipeggers, so we had to come up with something else to keep ourselves super busy during the holidays.
We now do Christmas Cookie Exchanges.

We stay nice and toasty warm by our ovens and work like slaves for the holidays.
Hell, by the third batch we’re sweating like pigs.
We bake a ton of cookies, trade them, then have a new ton of cookies.
Ho… Ho… Ho…! Happy Holidays!!

Hints:

About the Fruitcake Shortbread Cookies…
It is important that your butter is soft and not cold.
If the dough is dry, you can add some milk, a teaspoon at a time, to bring it together.
Don't add too much milk. The dough will come together if your butter is soft.

Longer baking will create a crisper cookie; shorter time makes a soft, buttery cookie


About the Shortbread Cookies…
Store in an airtight container at room temperature for 7 days.
They will stay in the fridge for 10 days. You can also freeze shortbread cookies.


About the Chocolate Chip and Toffee Shortbread Cookies…
Store in an airtight container at room temperature for up to 3 days.
These make perfect ice cream sandwich cookies.


About the Chocolate Chip Cookies…
Softened butter and warm eggs help create a smooth batter.
For thicker, chewier cookies, refrigerate dough for 30 minutes before baking.
Take cookies out while their centres are still slightly underdone.

Add 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon or nutmeg for warm, aromatic notes.
Stir in peanut butter, chopped walnuts, pecans, or macadamia nuts for extra crunch.


About the Thumbprint Cookies…
Use a variety of jams and jellies - raspberry or strawberry, apricot, grape - for colour.
If your jam is thick, microwave it for 10 seconds.


About the Italian Almond Paste Cookies …
Almond paste is less sweet, and is typically used to make marzipan, as a baking ingredient and as a filling in a variety of pastries.
Marzipan is made from almond flour, sugar, and sometimes egg whites and syrup. It is used to make candy or cake decorations. You may be able to adjust the recipe to use less sugar and use marzipan in place of almond paste.

Store the cookies in a tin that is lined with parchment.


About the Toffee Doodle Cookies…
Starbuck’s Toffeedoodle Cookies, a variation of cinnamon sugar snickerdoodle cookies, is the inspiration for this recipe.
Add an extra caramel flavour to the cookies by browning the butter first.

Store cooled cookies in an airtight container at room temperature for up to 5 days. You can freeze them for up to 3 months. Thaw at room temperature for a couple hours until soft.


About the White Chocolate Cranberry Bars…
These bars were inspired by Starbuck’s Cranberry Bliss Bars.

If you don’t have orange zest add 1 teaspoon orange extract to the cookie and 1/4 teaspoon to the frosting.
Powdered sugar is also known as 10x sugar. Confectioner's sugar has a starch, like cornstarch, added to prevent clumping.

Store bars in an airtight container in the fridge for up to 5 days, or flash freeze them, then stack with parchment paper between, then freeze for up to 3 months. Thaw in the fridge overnight, or for a few hours, before serving.


                                                    Fruitcake Shortbread Cookies

Line 2 cookie sheets with parchment paper.

Place in a large mixer bowl
1 Cup unsalted butter, at room temperature
1/2 Cup sugar
Cream together until light and fluffy, scraping down the sides of the bowl.
Add
1 teaspoon rum extract (or vanilla or almond extract)
Beat in.
With the mixer on low, add 1/4 Cup at a time
2 Cups flour
Scraping down the sides of the bowl, beat until the dough comes together.
Add
1 Cup finely diced fruitcake mixed fruit
Stir until the fruit is blended in.

Turn the dough out onto plastic wrap and form it into a log, about 9 or 10 inches long.
Wrap it in the plastic and smooth it into a smooth tube, twisting the ends tightly to secure.
Chill for at least 2 hours, or overnight.

Have on hand
Coarse sugar (optional)

Preheat oven to 350° F

Slice the tube of dough into 1/3 inch slices.
Roll edges in course sugar, then place slices on the cookie sheet, 2 inches apart.
Bake for 10 minutes. They may seem soft, but they will firm up as they cool.
Let them cool on pan for a few minutes.
While they are warm, sprinkle the cookies with coarse sugar, if using.
Transfer to cooling rack to cool completely.


                                                    Shortbread Cookies

Line 2 cookie sheets with parchment paper.

Sift together into a medium bowl
1/2 Cup cornstarch
1/2 Cup confectioners’ sugar
Add
1 Cup flour
Whisk in until well combined.
Add
3/4 Cup salted butter at room temperature
Using forks, mix in butter to form a soft dough.
Using a 1 tablespoon scoop, measure out dough, roll between hands to create smooth, round balls. Place on prepared baking sheet at least 2 inches apart.

Preheat oven to 325 °F

Using the tines of a fork, gently press the cookies.
Add sprinkles to the tops of each cookie. (optional)

Bake for 15 to 18 minutes, or until the edges are starting to brown.
Remove from oven and allow to cook on the sheet for 5 minutes then transfer to a wire rack to cook completely.


                                                    Chocolate Chip and Toffee Shortbread Cookies

Line 2 cookie sheets with parchment paper.

Place in a large mixer bowl
1 Cup salted butter, softened
1/2 Cup confectioners' sugar
Cream until light and fluffy.
Beat in
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
With the mixer on low, add 1/4 Cup at a time
2 Cups flour
Mix just until a soft dough forms.
Fold in
1 Cup mini chocolate morsels
1/2 Cup toffee pieces

Using a 1 tablespoon scoop, measure out dough, roll between hands to create smooth, round balls. Place on prepared baking sheet at least 2 inches apart.
Lightly flatten each ball. Chill for 5 to 10 minutes if your kitchen is warm.

Preheat oven to 350° F 

Bake for 12 to 14 minutes, until firm and lightly golden around the edges.
Cool on the baking sheet for 5 minutes, then transfer to a wire rack to cook completely.


                                                    Chocolate Chip Cookies

Line 2 cookie sheets with parchment paper.

Place in a medium bowl
2 1/4 Cups flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
Stir together, then set aside.

Place in a large mixer bowl
1 Cup unsalted butter, softened
3/4 Cup sugar
3/4 Cup brown sugar
Cream until light and fluffy.
Beat in one at a time
2 large eggs
Blend in
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
With the mixer on low, add 1/4 Cup at a time, the dry ingredients.
Stir gently until just combined. Do not over mix.
Fold in, making sure they’re evenly distributed throughout the dough
2 Cups chocolate chips (semi-sweet, milk or dark chocolate or a mixture)

Using a 1 tablespoon scoop, measure out dough, roll between hands to create smooth, round balls. Place on prepared baking sheet at least 2 inches apart.

Preheat oven to 375° F 

Bake for 9 to 11 minutes, or until the edges are golden brown but the centres are soft.
Remove from oven.
Let cookies cool on the baking sheet for 5 minutes before transferring to a wire rack.
Makes 24 Cookies


                                                    Thumbprint Cookies

Line 2 cookie sheets with parchment paper.

Place in a large mixer bowl
1 1/2 Cup brown sugar
1/2 Cup margarine
Cream together.
Add
1 large egg
Beat together.
Add
1/2 Cup boiling water
1 teaspoon baking soda
                                                               Stir together.
Add
1 Tablespoon vanilla
Stir together.
With the mixer on low, add 1/4 Cup at a time
2 Cups flour
Place on floured surface, then knead, adding gradually
1 to 1 1/4 Cups flour

Using a 1 tablespoon scoop, measure out dough, roll between hands to create smooth, round balls. Place on prepared baking sheet at least 2 inches apart.
Make an indent with your thumb in the centre of each cookie. Fill the thumb print with jam or jelly.

Preheat oven to 350° F

Bake for 8 to 10 minutes. Remove from oven.
Let cookies cool on the baking sheet for 5 minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cook completely.


                                                    Italian Almond Paste Cookies

Line 2 cookie sheets with parchment paper.

Have on hand
1/2 Cup sliced almonds

Break into small pieces and place in a large bowl
1 (8 oz) tube almond paste (not marzipan)
Add
3/4 Cup sugar
1/4 Cup powdered sugar
Mix until crumbly.

Place in a small bowl
2 large egg whites
1/4 teaspoon almond extract
1/4 teaspoon salt
Beat until frothy.
Add the wet mixture to the dry and stir until a sticky dough forms.
Using a 1 tablespoon scoop, measure out dough, roll between hands to create smooth, round balls. Place on prepared baking sheet, gently flatten, and press a few almond slices on top.

Preheat oven to 325° F

Bake for 18 to 20 minutes, until edges are lightly golden and tops are just set.
Cool completely, then dust generously with powdered sugar.
Makes 20 cookies


                                                    Raisin Oatmeal Cookies

Lightly grease 2 baking sheets.

Place in medium bowl
1 1/2 Cups flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon cloves
Stir to combine.

Place in large mixer bowl
3/4 Cup margarine
1 1/2 Cups brown sugar, packed
Beat to combine then beat in
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
Gradually add
flour mixture
1 3/4 Cups old-fashioned oats
2 Cups Thompson raisins
Stir well to combine.

Preheat oven to 375º F

Drop spoonfuls of dough about 2 inches apart.
Bake 8 to 9 minutes, then cool on wire rack.
Makes 3 dozen cookies


                                                    Toffee Doodle Cookies

Line 2 cookie sheets with parchment paper.

Sift together into medium bowl
3 Cups flour
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon cream of tartar
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt

Combine in an 8 inch square pan
1/4 Cup sugar
2 teaspoons cinnamon

Place in a large mixer bowl
3/4 Cup unsalted butter
1 1/2 Cups sugar
Cream together until light and fluffy.
Add
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Mix until combined.
With the mixer on low, add 1/4 Cup at a time the flour mixture.
Stir in
1 Cup toffee bits

Using a 1 tablespoon scoop, measure out dough, roll between hands to create smooth, round balls.
Roll the balls in the cinnamon sugar to coat, then place on baking sheet at least 2 inches apart.
Lightly flatten each ball. Chill for 5 to 10 minutes if your kitchen is warm.

Preheat oven to 375° F

Bake the cookies until the edges look golden brown.
Remove from oven and leave the cookies on the pan for about 5 minutes.
Transfer the cookies to a wire rack to cool completely.
Makes 25 to 30 cookies

                                                    White Chocolate Cranberry Bars

Line a 9×13 pan with parchment paper letting some hang outside of pan.
Lightly grease with nonstick spray.

For the Bars:
Place in a medium bowl
2 cups all purpose flour
1 Tablespoon cornstarch
1 teaspoon orange zest
3/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
Stir together, then set aside.

Place in a large mixer bowl
1 1/2 cups brown sugar
1 Cup unsalted butter, softened
Cream until light and fluffy.
Beat in, one at a time
2 large eggs
Blend in
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
With the mixer on low, add 1/4 Cup at a time, the dry ingredients.
Stir gently until you have a soft cookie dough.
Fold in, making sure they’re evenly distributed throughout the dough
1 Cup dried cranberries
1/2 Cup white chocolate baking chips
Turn the batter into the prepared pan, press dough to the edges, and smooth top.

Preheat oven to 350° F  

Bake for 15 to 22 minutes, until the top is golden.
Remove pan from oven, place on a wire rack and let cool completely.
Using the parchment paper, lift the cookie out of the pan and place on cutting board.

For the Frosting:
Place in a medium mixer bowl
8 oz block cream cheese, softened
1/4 Cup unsalted butter, softened
Cream together until smooth.
Add
1 1/2 Cups powdered sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
Mix until the frosting is fluffy.
Spread the frosting evenly over the top of the cooled cookie base.

For Topping the Bars:
Sprinkle over the top of the base
1/2 Cup dried cranberries
1 teaspoon orange zest

Place in a small microwave safe bowl
1/2 Cup white chocolate chips
1/2 teaspoon coconut or vegetable oil (optional)
Microwave in 10 second increments, stirring after each, until you can stir it smooth. Pour into a ziplock bag and snip off a corner.
Drizzle over the top of the base. 
Let the base sit until the frosting is set.
Slice the base in strips, then in squares, and then cut each diagonally to make triangles.

                                                    ~~~

For another broadcast of our CKUW radio program ‘2000 & Counting’ we planned to reminisce about when we had gone out into the woods to chop down a Christmas tree.
Yes, this was, and is, a popular Winnipeg Christmas tradition.
And, yes, in Manitoba it can get cold enough to make trees brittle!

God, it was cold.

I didn't know it could get that cold.
I didn't know I'd ever be stupid enough to be outdoors in that kind of cold.
I didn't know I'd been stupid enough to marry someone stupid enough to work with people stupid enough to be out in that kind of cold.

It was December in Winnipeg.

Paul and I had grown up in New York City. There people went to an empty parking lot where the trees had magically appeared, like the pre-wrapped ground beef at the local supermarket. No questions asked. No one wanted to get too personal with an ornament that would be out with the trash in a matter of weeks.

At the New York parking lot we'd browse, find a tree we liked and switch the price tag with the cheaper tree which no one liked. Then we'd carry the tree to the clerk, who gave us the fish eye as he noticed the fullness of such a "good find", sighed and took our money. The whole deal was done in ten minutes. Another Christmas had begun.

Apparently, that isn't good enough for Winnipeggers.
Oh, no, they have to get down and dirty with their holiday bushes.


I'll never forget how happy Paul was when he came home and told me we'd been invited to join his co-workers, a group of Winnipeggers, for a real, old-fashioned Christmas experience. If I'd had a clue I'd have realized that giving birth in a barn, unaided, would've been an easier old-fashioned Christmas experience.
We were going to chop down a real Christmas tree, just like our ancestors.

Well, my parents are from Malta, a sunny Mediterranean island. It just wasn't in my genes to know how to dress for a freezing, miserable, forced march through a blizzard-hit forest. The windchill - which I still didn't understand - was in the "exposed skin can freeze in 2 minutes" range.

That didn't sound good, so I said, "Thanks, but no thanks."


Somehow Paul convinced me that his entire future career prospects, our unborn children's college fund, our grandchildren's lives and our golden years' security and comfort would all go up in smoke if I didn't join in the mighty tree hunt.

His Jewish co-workers were going. Everybody, even that ditzy receptionist who always dressed like a showgirl wannabe with skirts up to there, was going.

So, we were going.


God, it was cold.

I thought I had dressed warmly.
That fink, the ditzy receptionist, showed up looking like the Michelin Man. She was ready to march to the North Pole for the perfect tree, if necessary. So were the three other women co-workers. The other wives - who all knew better - had begged off. One was even pregnant. Or so she said.

I was alone with four career women who were full of the 1970s "I am woman, hear me roar" career fever. While they talked shop I felt as welcome as a lump of coal in a kid’s Christmas stocking.

The Jewish co-workers - who I had hoped would keep the tree hunt frenzy within limits - had turned into lumberjacks. They were also ready to march to the North Pole for the perfect tree, if necessary.

After walking five minutes I couldn't feel my toes. We hadn't even gotten out of the parking lot. I was doomed.

I didn't know it could get that cold.
We marched. Finally, someone approved of a tree. The men chopped. The tree crashed. The branches that hit the ground broke off the tree.

I said, "The bare side could be placed against a wall."

The heat from their glares should have restored my circulation. It didn't. We marched. Someone approved of another tree. The men chopped. The tree crashed. It broke.


God, it was cold.

We were doomed to spend all day wandering like Flying Dutchmen on a quest to find the perfect unbreakable tree. The lot was littered with other broken felled trees. Some trees had landed across their comrades in a criss-cross pattern that looked like a cradle.
A cradle, something soft, something to receive and hold...

Hold it… something to catch a damn tree!

Dripping snot and tears had frozen my mouth shut. If I'd had the equipment I would've written my idea in the snow. I slapped my face trying to restore circulation to my lower jaw. Finally my lips parted. I clutched Paul's arm.

"Cradle... tree... cradle," I mumbled and criss-crossed my arms.

The women thought I was pregnant and wanted a homemade cradle. Thank God, months of marriage, misery and love had united Paul's mind to mine. Months of marriage had also taught us that Paul was no carpenter. He knew the homemade cradle idea was bunk. Paul caught on to my pantomime and told the others of my plan.

Someone approved of another tree. It could land on four broken trees. The men chopped. The tree landed on its fallen comrades. It survived.
We marched. Someone approved of another tree. It, too, survived.

Christmas was saved.


God, it was cold.

I didn't know it could get that cold.
I couldn't believe it.
Some fool was planning the next year's tree chopping expedition.