Anna Sultana’s Crumb Cake / The Perseid Meteor Shower

COVID-19 has made this a summer like no other.

Including here in Manitoba.

Most of our usual festivals and events have been cancelled, and we’re nervous about going out for groceries, let alone having simple get-togethers.

Parents here, as everywhere else, are worried about what to do this September.

Should children go to school, or stay home and learn on-line?
Modern technology is amazing, but it does lack that human touch.

Some events and things can be handled on-line, but others can't.
We still have to eat something solid, something that we can touch.

Virtual reality will not work for the dining room table.
Meal times and snack times demand a bit of cooking.

The take out places have been saying that NOBODY touches the food they sell.
All well and good.
I do support local businesses, but after a while one can actually get tired of take out.
Since cheesecake usually helps keep me calm, last month I posted the recipe for Woolworth Icebox Cheesecake.

It’s an old favourite, and I do love cheesecake, but just like take out, one can get tired of eating cheesecake. Really.

When I was growing up Entenmann’s Crumb Cake was a popular dessert.

Ma had a recipe for it.
Warning: the recipe requires cake flour.

If you have cake flour on your shelf, all is well and good.

If you don't have it, you can make a cake flour substitute.

If you don’t have time to make a cake flour substitute and your store doesn’t have bags of cake flour on its shelf (yes, supplies - even of staples - have been a bit erratic since the virus came), then this recipe is for you.

Time was a precious commodity in Ma's home so she often used this recipe.

It calls for regular flour and will give you a delicious crumb cake.

About the sky this month...

The annual Perseid Meteor Shower is returning, with the peak of the shower happening between August 11 to 13.

The bright meteors are a favourite summer sight, and the virus can’t stop them.

Why not bake a crumb cake and enjoy the night skies with a slice? 

The kiddies can have a glass or two of lemonade.

Piña Coladas or Strawberry Daiquiris (with or without the rum) would be appreciated by the adults.

Stay safe and well, everyone!

Hints:

It your family really likes crumb toppings, the crumb recipe can be doubled.
it won't affect baking time.

If you have salted butter, don't add the 1/8 teaspoon salt.

This cake is denser than the recipe using cake flour. 
A smaller slice will be filling.

                        Crumb Cake

For the Crumb Topping

In a small bowl mix together 

1/3 Cup sugar

1/3 Cup dark brown sugar 

3/4 teaspoon cinnamon 

1/8 teaspoon salt

1/2 Cup unsalted butter, melted and still warm

Add

1 3/4 Cups flour

Stir until the mixture is a solid dough.

Set aside to cool.

For the Cake

Place the oven rack in the upper-middle position.

Preheat oven to 350º F

Grease and flour 2 8-inch square baking pans

In a large mixer bowl place

1 Cup butter, softened

1 3/4 Cups sugar

4 large eggs 

Beat on medium-high speed until light and fluffy.

Add

2 1/2 Cups flour

1/2 teaspoon baking powder 

Beat at low speed just to combine.

Add

1/2 Cup milk

1 1/4 teaspoon vanilla 

Beat at low speed just to combine.

Spread the cake batter in the prepared pans.

Using a rubber spatula, spread the batter into an even layer. 

Break apart the crumb topping into large pea-sized pieces and spread the pieces in an even layer over the batter.

Do not push the crumbs into the batter.

Bake for 45 to 50 minutes. 

The crumbs should be a golden brown.

A toothpick inserted into the centre of the cake should come out clean.

Place the pans on a wire rack.

Let the cakes cool at least 30 minutes.

Just before serving dust with

confectioners' sugar 

Anna Sultana’s Black and White Cookies, New York Style

In the Coronation Chicken post I mentioned that the recipe had been sent from a relative in Malta to my Ma in New York while Queen Elizabeth was being crowned.

Well, recipes also went from Ma to her relatives… including me.

Favourite foods are often picked because of memories rather than fancy ingredients.

That’s the case with Black and White Cookies.

The IRT Flushing Line was major in my life.

Ma and I rode it when we went to Manhattan to shop during the 50s.

I rode it daily to connect to the train to my college in Brooklyn in the 60s and 70s.

Paul and I used it as our main form of transportation when we were dating.

I also used rode it daily when I worked in Manhattan.

Throughout all those years there was one constant - a tiny bakery kiosk by the staircase leading to the street in the subway terminal in Flushing.

As the saying goes… location, location, location.

Commuters would grab a quick breakfast on their way to work.

After a long work day, nothing hit the spot better than a black and white cookie.

Ah… the black and white cookie.

It was vital to New Yorkers.

It was ours, it was unique, it was beloved.

Black and white cookies really are a New York icon.

They were mentioned twice on the New York based TV show Seinfeld. 

Jerry used the cookie as a metaphor for racial harmony.

He said that people should Look to the cookie!

Of course we knew which cookie.

Bette Midler - yes the The Divine Miss M!  - told Kramer: 

If I don't get a black and white cookie, I'm not going to be very pleasant to be around!

I hear you, Bette.

A few years after we moved to Canada I suddenly missed my old B and W cookies.

It was one of those things that was always there.

And then it wasn’t.

Until Ma sent me the recipe!

                        Black and White Cookies

makes 24 cookies

Line two cookie sheets with parchment or wax paper

THE COOKIES

In a medium bowl combine 

2 1/2 Cups cake flour

2 1/2 Cups flour

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

Place in a large bowl

1 Cup unsalted butter, at room temperature

1 3/4 Cups sugar

Beat until it is light and fluffy.

Add 

4 large eggs

1 1/2 Cups milk

1/2 teaspoon vanilla 

1/4 teaspoon lemon extract

Beat until well combined.

Add about a cup at a time of the flour mixture to the wet mixture, stirring well between each addition.

Preheat the oven to 375° F

Drop a heaping tablespoonful of dough for each cookie onto the cookie sheets, leaving 2 inches between each cookie. 

Spread each spoonful of dough gently into a circle. 

Bake for 18 to 20 minutes, or until the edges begin to turn a pale golden. 

Remove the cookies to a wire rack.

Let the cookies cool completely before icing.

THE GLAZES

In a large bowl place

4 Cups confectioners’ sugar

Stirring constantly slowly add a little at a time

1/3 to 1/2 Cup boiling water

Just add enough to make a thick, smooth paste.

Add

1 teaspoon vanilla

Stir in.

Put a medium sized heat-proof bowl in a a small saucepan of simmering water.

In it place

1 ounce semi-sweet chocolate

1 teaspoon light corn syrup

Stir the mixture until the chocolate melts.

Add half of the vanilla glaze.

Stir the mixture until it is smooth and thick.

Remove the saucepan from the heat, but keep the bowl in the hot water so that the glaze doesn’t harden.

Use a small spatula or butter knife to spread the white glaze on half of each cookie.

Spread the chocolate glaze on the other half of each cookie. 

Allow the glaze to harden and set for 30 minutes before serving.

Store in an airtight container.

Links for Cheesecake and Cheese Recipes

Have you heard?

A Lego set version of the sitcom Golden Girls' iconic kitchen and living room has swept the Internet.

A Lego Golden Girls Set could become a reality!

And the set comes with a Lego cheesecake.

Well, it had to, didn’t it?

No matter the time of day, whatever the problem, the girls had a cheesecake.

Ah, cheesecake!!

Is there any problem that can happen to any woman, at any age, that can’t be helped by a slice of cheesecake.

Or anything that has cheese in it.

In honour of the Lego Golden Girls, here is a list of the links for 'I'm Turning 60's top cheesecake and creamy, cheesy recipes.

Enjoy!!

Anna Sultana's Cannoli - Spongecake with Custard Filling, Maltese Style

Anna Sultana’s Caramel Apple Cheesecake

Anna Sultana’s Lemon Ricotta Cake, Maltese Style

Anna Sultana’s Mini Pumpkin Cheesecake Muffins, Maltese Style

Anna Sultana’s Mushroom and Ham Quiche

Anna Sultana's Pastizzi / Ricotta Tarts, Maltese Style

Anna Sultana's Pizza Rustica (Ricotta Pie, Maltese Style)

Anna Sultana’s Pumpkin Cheesecake, Maltese Style

Anna Sultana's Qassata, Christmas Cheese Dessert, Maltese Style

Anna Sultana’s Sour Cream Chocolate Chip Cookies

Anna Sultana's Torta ta' l-Irkotta / Easy Maltese Ricotta Pie

Anna Sultana’s Truffles (Chocolate / Cream Cheese Treats, Unbaked)

Anna Sultana's Qassatat ta I-Irkotta (Small ricotta pie, Maltese Style)

——

The 1960s Co-Op Refrigerator Cheesecake

Lindy's Cheesecake with Red Cherry Glaze, New York Style Cheesecake

Sweetened Condensed Milk Cheesecake, with and without fruit 

       - Homemade Sweetened Condensed Milk

——

Carmela Soprano's La Pastiera, 

Carmela Soprano's Cassata / Iced Sponge Cake with Ricotta Filling

Carmela Soprano's La Pastiera - Easter Ricotta Pie, Italian Style

Carmela Soprano's New Jersey Cheesecake recipe / Graham Wafer Crust

Carmela Soprano's Pasticiotti / Tartlets with Vanilla Cream Filling

Carmela Soprano's Pizza Rustica recipe / Pizza Gaina 

       - Italian Easter Pie with Ricotta and Meat

Carmela Soprano's Ricotta Cheesecake / Uses for Ricotta

Carmela Soprano's Ricotta - Pineapple Pie (Cheesecake)

Carmela Soprano's Zuppa Ingles - Neopolitan Trifle

Links for St. Patrick / St. Joseph / Easter / Mother's Day recipes

The holidays are the times for traditional recipes.

And it doesn't hurt to try something new.

Here's a collection of some old favourites.

And, hopefully, something that will become a new favourite.

Happy Holidays!!!

NY Daily News' Irish Soda Bread

Potato and Cabbage Casserole for St. Patrick's Day

Carmela Soprano's Potato Pie

Irish Cakes / Boxties

Irish Coffee Recipe and Irish Fix Recipe

****
Anna Sultana’s Simnel Cake / Mother’s Day Cake / Easter Cake

Anna Sultana's Hot Cross Buns

Anna Sultana's Zeppoli ta' san Guzepp 

       - Fried choux pastry with sweet ricotta filling 

Carmela Soprano's St. Joseph Zeppole 

Carmela Soprano's Sfingi (St. Joseph's Day Zeppole)

Cream Puffs - Baked Sfingi / Zfineg ta San Guzepp 

****
Carmela Soprano's Cassata
   - Iced Sponge Cake with Ricotta Filling l Palm Sunday Customs

Carmela Soprano's Pizza Rustica recipe / Pizza Gaina 

     - Italian Easter Pie with Ricotta and Meat

A Healthy Pizza Rustica (Ricotta Pie, Maltese Style)

Carmela Soprano's Italian Easter Sweet Bread

Carmela Soprano's La Pastiera - Easter Ricotta Pie, Italian Style

Anna Sultana's Pane di Pasqua all 'Uovo / Italian Easter Sweet Bread

Anna Sultana's Figolli recipe 

- Traditional Maltese Easter Sweet with Royal Icing and Almond Filling

Saffron Paska (Saffron Easter Bread)

Anna Sultana's White Bread / American Bread

A few days ago I mentioned cooking pasta fagioli as a way of helping the holiday gift buying budget.

If you clicked on the link and went to the post you noticed I wrote:

Would I make Pasta Fagioli again?

It's a basic item at my house.

Even when it's not tax time.

A loaf of crusty Italian bread goes well with it.

After eating all those carbs, who could be nervous?

Bread is a funny thing.

Buy a loaf and it’s just bread.

Bake it and you’re suddenly Mother Walton.

Which is a charming thing to be at this time of year.

Maltese food wasn’t as popular as Italian food in New York.

If Ma wanted a taste of home, she had to bake her own Hobz, Maltese Bread.

Sometimes she also baked Crusty Italian Bread.

Both are great and add a certain oomph to a meal.

Don’t be put off by the idea of making four loaves at one time.

Homemade bread is a treat.

With butter or jam, it’s as good as any cake.

Believe me, it won’t last long enough to go stale.

A neighbour once gave Ma her recipe for bread.

It was a basic white bread recipe.

Ma called it American bread.

Well, the neighbour was an American, so it made sense.

Hints:

While kneading the dough, dip your hands in water to give the 

dough a smooth elastic finish.

To give your bread more volume add lemon juice or white vinegar:

1 Tablespoon for every 4 to 5 Cups of flour. 

For variety you can substitute for equal portions of all purpose flour:

1 to 3 Cups whole wheat flour

1 to 2 Cups dark rye flour

1 Cup oatmeal

                        Basic White Bread

Makes 4 loaves

grease four 4 1/2” x 8 1/2” loaf pans

        

preheat oven to 375º           

bake 40 minutes

In a large mixer bowl place

1/2 Cup warm water (about 110º F)

1 teaspoon sugar

2 Tablespoons active dry yeast

Let stand about 10 minutes, then stir.

Add

3 1/2 Cups warm water

1/4 Cup sugar

1/2 Cup oil

2 Tablespoons lemon juice

4 teaspoons salt

Stir to combine ingredients.

Add

4 1/2 Cups flour

Mix until a soft dough is formed.

Gradually add

5 to 6 Cups flour, more or less, to make a workable dough.

Turn the dough out on a lightly floured surface.

Knead until it is very smooth, about 10 to 15 minutes.

Shape the dough into a ball and place in a greased bowl.

Turn to cover top surfaces with oil.

Cover and let rise in a warm place about 1 hour or until doubled.

Punch down the dough and cut it into 4 even pieces.

Cover and let rest 20 minutes.

Form into loaves and place in greased pans.

Brush the tops with oil.

Cover and let rise 50 minutes.

Bake 40 minutes, or until bread tests done and is golden brown.

Cool on a wire rack 5 minutes.

Remove from pans.

A Moment with Geoffrey Holder by Margaret Ullrich

Geoffrey Holder, a Tony Award-winning director, actor, painter, dancer and choreographer who played a scary villain in a James Bond film, died on October 6.  He was an amazing person and performer.

Back in 2002 I wrote the following story for the CKUW radio show ‘2000 & Counting’.  
After I read the piece we chatted on air about Mr. Holder, his performance in the James Bond movie, and, of course, his 7 Up commercial.  

Some people just live on in everyone’s memory.

R.I.P. and thank you, Mr. Holder.

    Last Saturday we saw the 1973 James Bond movie Live and Let Die.  It brought back memories of one of the most amazing musical experiences we've ever had.  No, we didn't see Paul McCartney with the Beatles or with Wings.

      Do you remember Geoffrey Holder - he was the tall dancer with the memorable Jamaican accent who did a voodoo number in the scene where Dr. Quinn nearly got a bad case of snakebite in Live and Let Die.  Maybe you remember him from television.  In 1971 he did a 7 Up commercial where he held up a glass of 7 Up and said: Try getting that out of a cola nut Ha, ha ha ha, ha.  

      Well, thanks to Geoffrey's bladder I have a 3 degrees of separation connection to James Bond, I mean Roger Moore.  No kidding.

     In February, 1981, Paul and I took a trip to New York.  We went strictly as tourists.  None of our relatives knew we were in town.  That's the only way former native New Yorkers can see New York.  We stayed at a nice hotel and got theatre tickets from the kiosk in Times Square.

     We saw Superman, Christopher Reeve, with Jeff Daniels and Swoosie Kurtz in Lanford Wilson's Fifth of July at the New Apollo Theatre.  Fantastic.  We also saw Tony Roberts and Anita Gillette in Neil Simon's They're Playing Our Song at the Imperial Theatre.  The songs by Marvin Hamlisch and Carol Bayer Sager were fun.  We bought the original cast album with Robert Klein and Lucy Arnez.   

      But we really hit pay dirt when Paul got tickets for Duke Ellington's Sophisticated Ladies at the Lunt-Fontanne Theatre.  What can I say about Ellington's music and Gregory Hines and Judith Jamison's singing and dancing?  That alone would've made it a memorable evening.  But the night we went was unbelievable.

      The Times Square Kiosk was the way theatres filled empty seats at the last minute.  People could pick up same-day theatre tickets at discount prices.  As long as you didn't have your heart set on a particular show or seat location you could get incredible deals.  

      Well, there we were with tickets to Sophisticated Ladies in our hot little hands.  That night Paul, dressed totally in brown, and I, in a nondescript drip-dry polyester outfit, got to the Lunt-Fontanne a little early to savour the ambiance of a New York theatre.

     Then we started spotting celebrities.  Okay, it was New York and that happens, but every time we turned our heads it was "Oh, my God! that's...  Look, look... no don't look.  Oh, my God!  LOOK!!!"   

     Lauren Bacall, Diana Ross, Lena Horne, Pia Lindstrom and Bobby Short were some of our fellow patrons.  And, trust me, they were not wearing nondescript drip-dry polyester outfits.  They were dressed to the twelves, never mind the nines.  I hadn't seen so many diamonds since we'd strolled through Tiffany's.

     An insert fell out of my program.  I took a quick look at it.  That explained why everybody who was anybody was there.  We'd picked up some unsold tickets for a benefit performance organized by The Doll League, Incorporated in support of The Dance Theatre of Harlem and The Negro Ensemble Company.  Yeah, we didn't have a clue what they were either.  But there we were, warming a couple of seats with some pretty fancy folks who were all dolled up in tuxedos and designer gowns.  It's a safe bet Lauren Bacall hadn't picked up her ticket at the kiosk.  

    Then, as if seeing a great show and all those celebrities wasn't enough, during intermission Paul went to the men's room.  He came back babbling like an excited school boy.  "You'll never guess who I was standing next to, right there whizzing, the same time as me.  Guess… you'll never guess.  Geoffrey Holder!"

     Well, who'd have thought nature would've called Paul and Geoffrey Holder at the same time like that?  It was a memorable moment, if not a Kodak moment, alright.

     I wish he'd gotten an autograph, but maybe that wasn't the right time.  I wish I'd been there… well, maybe not. 

Anna Sultana’s 'Entenmann’s Crumb Cake / Homemade Cake Flour Substitute

Ahhh….  Entenmann’s!

Anyone who grew up in New York knows about Entenmann’s.

Entenmann’s has been a part of New York's life for over 100 years.

They perfected their marketing when they invented the "see-through" cake box.

We saw it while Ma was picking up her basics.

After enough begging, Ma surrendered and bought a cake.

We enjoyed it.

Even Ma enjoyed it.

But not enough to make a habit of buying a store bought cake every week.

If you’ve never had an Entenmann’s cake, despair not.

Ma asked around and got a recipe from another mom, who also wasn’t going to admit defeat by buying a store bought cake every week.

Moms, in those days, had their pride, and their ways.

I just heard that Entenmann’s has stopped baking in Bay Shore.

What next?  Will the Pope leave Rome?

Hints:

If you don’t have cake flour, DO NOT substitute regular flour.

It just won’t work.

You can make a substitute, but it’s going to take a little effort…

Homemade Cake Flour Substitute

Measure out 

10 Cups all-purpose flour  

Remove 1 1/3 Cup flour and put it back in your canister. 

Replace the removed flour with 1 1/3 Cup cornstarch.

Sift flour 5 times.  Yes… 5 times.  

Sifting will help combine the mixture and lighten and aerate the flour.

Use the amount called for in the recipe and store the rest.

If you don’t have buttermilk, substitute an equal amount of plain, low-fat yogurt.

This recipe was developed when no one had ever heard of cholesterol.

If you’d like to make it a bit healthier, substitute for the cup of butter in the topping:

1/2 Cup margarine 

3 ounces oil

About the 2 eggs and 2 yolks… you can substitute 3 large eggs.

Every little bit helps.

                        Crumb Cake

Crumb Topping

In a small bowl mix together 

2/3 Cup sugar
2/3 Cup dark brown sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 Cup unsalted butter, melted and still warm

Add

3 1/2 Cups cake flour 

Stir until the mixture is a solid dough.

Set aside to cool.

Cake

Place the oven rack in the upper-middle position.

Preheat oven to 325º

Grease 2 8-inch square baking pans

In a large mixer bowl place

2 1/2 Cups cake flour
1 Cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt

Beat at low speed just to combine.

Add one piece at a time

3/4 Cup unsalted butter, cut into 6 pieces, softened 

Beat until the mixture looks like crumbs.

There should not be any butter chunks visible.

Add

2 large eggs
2 large egg yolks
2 teaspoons vanilla
2/3 Cup buttermilk

Beat on medium-high speed until light and fluffy, about 1 minute.

Spread the cake batter in the prepared pans.

Using a rubber spatula, spread the batter into an even layer. 

Break apart the crumb topping into large pea-sized pieces and spread the pieces in an even layer over the batter.

Do not push the crumbs into the batter.

Bake for 35 - 40 minutes.

The crumbs should be a golden brown.

A toothpick inserted into the centre of the cake should come out clean.

Place the pans on a wire rack.

Let the cake cool at least 30 minutes.

Just before serving dust with 

confectioners' sugar 

Cooled leftovers can be covered and stored at room temperature for up to 2 days.

In our family - there were 5 of us - it didn’t last that long!

Taking the E Train, a tale about the New York subway system - Margaret Ullrich

     I got my first camera after I received my First Communion in 1957.  The camera was a Kodak brownie.  No flash.  The lens stayed in one spot.  You aimed and shot.

     My Aunt Helen had thought the gift pack - a camera and one roll of film - would make a nice present.  My folks didn't care.  Well, Pop said, "What the hell is that?" and Ma thought I needed more clothes but, well, a gift's a gift.

     I brought my camera on a school outing to Manhattan's Central Park Zoo and took pictures of the animals. 

     Then the film hit the fan. 

     Processing and printing cost money.  There wasn't a gift certificate to cover that.  So, muttering something about the quality of his sister's brains, Pop paid for the pictures and put the camera in a safe place.

     I never saw it again.

     Ten years later, when I was at Pratt Institute studying for my BA in Merchandising, Photography waltzed back into my life.  The whole j'ne'se'qua of Merchandising is to convince people to buy things.  We had to learn to take pictures that said, "Come and get me, Big Boy!  Ya gotta have me!  BUY ME!!"

     Okay.  Pop had seen pictures in ads in the New York Daily News, so learning Photography made sense to him.  He didn't like buying me a camera, but he understood that I needed it for my homework.  Pop was relieved when I told him that I'd process the film and print the pictures at school.  No extra charge. 

     Pratt Institute prided itself on having teachers who were professionals in their fields.  Our Photography teacher, Mr. Freed, was also working on a project about his travels with his girlfriend for a Life Magazine Library of Photography book.  His assignment consisted of pictures that had been taken in a string of dingy motels.  They were not posed, beautifully lit or product oriented.  

     We saw his work and agreed.  It was Life with a capital L.  It was ugly.  It was gritty.  We wouldn't have gone near those motels if our lives depended on it.

     It was the late 60s and the Photography class was heady stuff.  Mr. Freed set us on fire.  "Capture Life"  was his motto.  We didn't know if he meant "Capture Life" as we lived it or a nice fat Life Magazine contract.  We just shot anything we saw and waited for Mr. Freed to tell us if we'd Caught Life.     

       

     Mr. Freed introduced us to Capa's dramatic pictures from the Spanish Civil War, Brassai's frank revelations of Parisian life, Lange's wrenching scenes of the Depression and Cartier-Bresson's stirring reportages of Spain.  If an ad was supposed to show hell on earth, we were learning how to do it.  

     I didn't have time to go to Europe and the Depression was over, so I had to Capture Life in New York.  I shot everything: animal, vegetable and mineral.  Anybody who sat still within ten feet of me was in danger of being immortalized.  

     But, something was missing.  

     I needed a theme.  

     I needed something frightening, something awful.  

     Yeah. 

     So, I went to the New York Subway System.

     Armed with a Honeywell Pentax H1A camera I tried to Capture Life.  And for an hour, I did.  I took pictures of people buying tokens, people running for trains, people caught between subway doors, people squeezed together standing in the cars and people sleeping through their rides to work.  I took pictures of trains entering and leaving the station.  Then I noticed a Transit cop signaling me.  So I waved, took his picture and ran off to Capture Life. 

     I ran and shot and waved to all the nice policemen who waved to me.  Who said New Yorkers - especially New York City cops - were unfriendly?  

     Then I turned a corner and nearly ran into four New York City Transit policemen.  They also waved at me.  Neat!  I'd get a group shot of four of New York's finest.  I aimed my camera.

     Then one of them yelled,  "What the hell do you think you're doing?"  

     "I am Capturing Life."

     One officer bellowed, "Get your butt over here.  Now!" 

     Ah, the gritty vernacular of real life.  I got my butt over.

     "Where's your permit?"

     Permit?  Mr. Freed never mentioned a permit.  Did Capa, Brassai, Lange or Cartier-Bresson have a permit?  I didn't need no stinking permit.  

     I just smiled and repeated, "I am Capturing Life."

     Slowly, as if speaking to an idiot, the bellower explained that I needed a permit.  

     I explained that I was doing my college assignment.  

     He rolled his eyes.  Great.  A college kid.  

     Knowing he was speaking to an idiot, he said I could go to jail.  

     I was thrilled.  Cool!  What a theme!  I'd ace the course and get a spread in Life Magazine!   

     "Wow!  Thank you!  I can Capture Life in Jail!" 

     "No," he explained very slowly, "You can't Capture Life in Jail.  I'm saying - now listen very carefully - we can throw you into jail.  Without your camera."

     Now, I had my priorities.  I had a non-refundable ticket for an upcoming rock concert.  I'd just about used up a whole roll of film.  And I had to turn in my assignment that morning.  

     Well!  It was the 60s.  I knew my rights.  

     I wailed.  I blubbered.  I apologized.  

     I swore I wouldn't take any more train pictures.  

     I guess they had kids in college, too.

     "Shaddup, already.  Take your camera and get your butt to school."

     I got my butt to school.  

     Mr. Freed said I had Captured Life.  

     I went to the concert.  

     It was better than going to jail. 

E. T. Is Home by Margaret Ullrich

Last week I wrote about being an immigrant kid.

Trust me, it's a lot easier being an immigrant adult.

As a child, you really have no say in where you live.

Or in how your new country regards you.

Or in how your native-born classmates treat you.

Or in what paperwork your parents fill out for you.

Combine the confusion over who you are with the usual crap that happens as you pass from infancy through childhood and adolescence, and it can get pretty stressful.

I don't know if it would've been any easier if Pop had paid the $10 so I could've 

been a naturalized American citizen.

I guess I wouldn't have felt confused when we had to pledge allegiance to the American flag every morning.

I always felt like I was lying.

I mean, I wasn't planning anything violent.

I was a pretty well-behaved kid.

Usually on the honor roll.

I just knew it wasn't quite the truth for me.

I liked America well enough.

Well, except for the annual Alien Registration form.

That was a little annoying.

But I knew I'd been born a British subject and still was a British subject.

A big part of American History is about beating the English.

Taxation without representation.

Yadda, yadda, yadda....

Yeah, American taxes are represented.

That really is helping their government pay their bills right now.

Americans are also big on citizenship.

Native-born citizenship.

I, along with Arnold Schwartzenegger, could never be president.

You have to be born in the USA for that job.

Remember when Donald Trump wanted to check out Obama's birth certificate?

Americans really believe: once a foreigner, always a foreigner.

Okay, back to being an adult immigrant.

July 1 seems to be my day for moving.

Maybe it's some kind of Karma.

July 1, 1950 my parents were getting packed to move to America.

July 1, 1952 we moved to College Point.

July 1, 1972 Paul and I crossed the border into Canada.

July 1, 1988 we moved into our present home.

I've lived in this house longer than I've lived anywhere else in my whole life.

It's home.

I'm settled.

And yes, I'm a Canadian citizen.

Speaking about Obama's birth certificate reminded me....

Pop passed away on the day Obama was being sworn in as president.

My mother wanted me to fly down for his funeral.

Thanks to the post 9/11 American policy, I needed a passport to enter the States.

I didn't have one.

I still hated crossing the border.

The American border guard always asked, "Where were you born?"

It was just easier to vacation in Canada.

A relative had insisted they'd understand this was an emergency.

I called the airport.

The clerk tried to be helpful.

"Oh, your family is in New York.  Are you an American citizen?"

"No."

"Were you born there?  Were you an American citizen?"

"No."

"That's too bad."

Maybe if Pop had paid the $10....

Well, who knew?